The difference between being nice and flirting

[ceceswa]

There is a man of the cloth that seems to come off like he’s flirting with many of the women in the parish. He has a tendancy to stare at young women during mass and I’m definetely not the only one that has noticed it. I have also noticed that he has problems with concentrating and it may be part of the reason that he stares. I don’t believe that he has any bad intentions but I was wondering if someone should say something to him. Since I’ve been at the church for several months and have observed his behavior I actually think that he may have an adult attention deficit disorder possibly with hyperactivity.

I’ve noticed some of the husbands are getting frustrated with his behavior and I know a couple of females that are uncomfortable with the staring. I was considering speaking with the priest about this situation, but I wanted to know if anyone else has been in this situation and if so what did they do. Thank you for any feedback and God bless.

 

[carol_marie]

Unless he’s staring at you and it’s making you feel uncomfortable, I wouldn’t say anything. If the other women are uncomfortable or their husbands, they should talk to the staring Priest - alone. Otherwise it seems like a gossipy sort of thing…

 

[LukeQ]

He may have a sight problem. This situation reminds me of a story a female friend of mine told me years ago:

My friend’s friend was a very attractve girl who was short sighted. Her disposition was always pleasant so she always had a smile on her face. Men would constantly come up to her and introduce themselves thinking that she was staring and smiling at them. The fact was she could not even see them.

We don’t know really why your priest stares - it maybe totally innocent and bringing it to his attention may hurt his feelings if he has some sort of condition. Be careful.

Luke

 

[msh]

I suppose it would all have to do in the way he is staring. Straight on, towards the face? Lower and focusing on the chest? I have had a young priest mention before that he sought out faces in the crowd while in Mass that seemed to not be bored - people that were paying attention. He said it eased his own sense of nervousness when he was first starting out in the Church. Maybe your priest is like me, and just sort of zones out - people think I am staring at them when I’m off on another plane thinking about who knows what.

I think if there are others who are becoming upset with this, they need to confront him. There is nothing they should be afraid of in regards to this issue - if they are concerned they should be urged to take this up with the priest. If it is also becoming more than a passing concern for you, I see nothing wrong with also going to the priest and mentioning that some people are getting ideas and if he would clarify that no such thing is occuring.

 

[puzzleannie]

what are the ladies wearing when he stares at them? If they come to Church dressed like half the girls and ladies I see, I don’t blame him for staring, he is probably desperately looking for someplace safe to rest his eyes. If the husbands have an objection, maybe they should give their wives a tip to cover up more.

 

[kaymart]

puzzleannie:

what are the ladies wearing when he stares at them? If they come to Church dressed like half the girls and ladies I see, I don’t blame him for staring, he is probably desperately looking for someplace safe to rest his eyes. If the husbands have an objection, maybe they should give their wives a tip to cover up more.

Oh how true is this. Instead of looking at what the Priest is doing these people who come to Mass “dressed for the beach” should look in a full lenght mirror before they leave for Mass.

 

[ceceswa]

i appreciate all of your thoughts. It is true that some of these young women do not wear the appropriate clothes to mass. I’ll let them know if they have a problem then they should take it up with him or start wearing less revealing outfits. Thanks everybody