The Difference Between Hitting on Someone or Just Being Friendly?

[gborbely]

I’ve just been accused by fellow parishioners that I’ve been hitting on a teenage girl during Mass all because of the fact as she was looking at me, I looked at her with a bright, friendly smile and that just once. She was offended by that and apparently reported it. I don’t recall giving her any cues other than a sincerely nice, friendly smile. Maybe it was too friendly! Maybe I inadvertently showed some sort of interest in her, it definitely wasn’t intentional! I’m very confused and upset over this! How should I respond?

 

[Lee1]

Perhaps you could have a quiet chat with whoever she reported it to and allay their fears, should they have any.

I wouldn’t speak to the girl directly, I’d probably never look in her direction again and suffer in silence. Sometimes that is our lot.

Peace be with you, God bless.

You might say a prayer for her.

 

[gborbely]

It’s strange because just as I had recovered a good reputation with the parish, this happens and almost completely destroys any good I have done. The parishioners were developing a really healthy respect for me until now. If only I had not looked in her direction.

Almost the entire parish knows about this but I have no way of contacting whomever this was reported to. Perhaps I can somehow find out indirectly.

I will definitely be saying prayers for her.

God bless you as well, thank you!

 

[Matt241]

Unfortunately, the biggest source of outrage and judgemental people come from the very church herself (which is why some other denominations look upon Catholics as the most appalling hypocrites - “Judge not, lest ye be judged” etc").

I would go to the one to whom the incident was reported, and explain. I’d try to avoid those sorts of situations in future. I’d tend to agree with the last poster about guidance with social cues and appropriate behaviour, not because there’s anything wrong with you, but because of the risk of your actions being misinterpreted by others.

The difference between hitting on someone and just being friendly? Your intention, and other’s interpretation, which, unfortunately, can trump even the best of intentions.