The M Word and the Menstrual Cycle- Help?

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iwillrisenowinfaith

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Ladies, I’ve had this one in the back of my mind for a while and have decided to finally post about it, since I know I cannot be alone in this…

So, ladies…do you find yourself more tempted towards, say, a certain mortal sin close to that time of the month? Or at a certain point in your cycle?

I’ve found that these days (I’m in my 30s), it’s usually not an issue for me at all… except for about a week before the onset of my period. Then it’s “batten down the hatches” 😦

Then I’ll get my period and I’ll be fine…until the same time the next month. And yes, to clarify, I’m not always able to resist temptation.

I’m not concerned with “is it right/is it wrong” (although part of me does wonder because we talk about teen boys sometimes in this regard but not us middle-aged ladies)…I know culpability is culpability and it is still an act of the will, even when you have the hormones shouting in your face the entire time. I’ve only attempted to bring the hormone/same time of the month thing up once in Confession.

I’m more concerned about anything that I may be able to do to calm these (insert mildly impolite language of your choice here) hormones down, if at all possible.

Have any other ladies dealt with this? I’m thinking that since it seems to be so hormonally driven, there may even be something I can do or take to reduce or avoid it. I have tried to go on the pill for health reasons in the past, for instance, and noticed that I didn’t face the same issue during the brief time that I was on it.
 
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Yeah, twice a month I get the urge. Once at ovulation time and once at menstrual time. It’s due to hormonal shifts and in the latter case, congestion. Getting an urge to mate at ovulation time is basic biology, the same as your unspayed female dog or cat goes into heat. With respect to menstrual time, when certain organs and body parts are retaining water or otherwise swelling/ being sensitive, nerves get triggered. I had the same problem once from hemorrhoids.

If this sounds indelicate, sorry, but I’m a firm believer in de-mystifying physical stuff. If we’re supposed to resist our bodily urges, then it helps to know they have a physical cause as opposed to emotionalizing them and feeling like an evil sinner. If you keep your hands off yourself, sometimes your body will involuntarily resolve matters on its own.
 
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The desire is highest during our fertile time, built in assurance of the next generation!

If you are unmarried or abstaining from conception, it can be extra frustrating during those hormonal surges.

Fasting is the best way to help keep our physical appetites under control.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Fasting is the best way to help keep our physical appetites under control.
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Be careful of this if you have any sort of physical condition such as hypoglycemia, anemia, fainting spells etc. If I don’t eat properly around period time, I have sometimes passed out or gotten very sick. Protein, water, and cutting the carbs and caffeine (as well as not eating things that might cause constipation) work well for me, as does exercise. Check with your doctor about what might work for you.
 
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Well, ngl, I have considered taking up target shooting or knife throwing as a hobby to deal with this special “gift” time 😄
 
One week before the onset of a period in not the fertile time… (or with a short luteal phase?)
Perhaps an hormonal rise before period?
 
Hm, yes, I started learning how to chart recently and now that I know a bit more about my cycle, it doesn’t seem to be in the fertile phases (as would make logical sense)…but maybe it still has to do with a shift in hormonal balance around that time? Either way, it’s something that I’ve observed that occurs like clockwork for at least five years now.

I respect and appreciate the responses about exercising, fasting etc…has anyone tried those things? Are they known to have an impact on our hormonal balances?
 
Fasting, exercice… Not really…

As for me, giving birth to my first child, breastfeeding and full-time mothering is enough to keep most sexual temptations away…(baby is 19 mouths old, and fertility has return to normality, and desire too, but it is easily manageable…

Have kids!😍
 
to be busy, with healthy hobbies and carry for others is very effective to prevent temptations.

Laziness, lack of sleep, and and somewhat “unsane” hobbies (ex : read news of sexual scandals and find details) are defavorable.

Are you married? Because if it is the case, and if you does’nt want a baby, and if this period of tempation is outside your fertile time, maybe, if you & husbandd both want, you could have a better way to satisfy desire…

Of course, I does’nt want to tell you what you have to do… just a suggestion…
 
Are you referring to the urge as in sexual desire? Sexual desire in itself is not a sin. I have sexual desire, as I am not asexual.
 
Yes…and it’s a specific, strong urge that kicks in around a certain point in the cycle every single month. The rest of the time, the urges are more manageable but…then there’s “that time”…

When it comes to living a lifestyle that is maybe leading to temptations (e.g.- like Anicette mentioned, with certain hobbies), I’m a bit more convinced that saying some Hail Marys or fasting or exercise could lead to the increase in grace necessary to avoid temptation. But when the situation is more or less, for lack of a better word, biological, it seems a bit less likely…without a biological response (on some level).
 
A lot of factors play into the libido. Chastity takes a lot of self knowledge. Fertility charting can help because generally speaking, our hormones do influence our feelings. That said, it’s not exclusive to hormones.

I think one thing chastity talks never get into is how resisting acting on your sexual tension tends to build the tension. It’s not a ladder of sequential steps. Foreplay is really a lot of teasing and resistance. It’s hard to know how to play into it because sexual arousal functions in a similar way that a woman going into labor functions. As my husband says “my brain turns off.” Sometimes people will talk about how talking during sex is bad because it involves the higher functions of the brain that need to be off.

So the reality is, you’re trying to avoid falling into a more instinctive action, something where in the midst of it, you have less control of yourself. But it’s much like controlling our other passions–anger, for instance.

The temptation is always to want to repress, but that makes things worse and can actually create fetishes and sexual dysfunctions. Chastity involves being self-aware and knowing how to cool yourself down. It’s bound to come with mistakes. It’s more like how a toddler has to learn to stop tantruming in order to gain emotional control. You become more chaste over time. You don’t start out all pure and then lose your innocense. You start out ignorance, and have to develop self-knowledge in order to foster that control of yourself, to master yourself.
 
Yes I notice these fluctuations at different points in the cycle but I don’t think these are a sin. But if as you say you are struggling to resist doing anything about them, then that’s a problem. I can only really suggest praying. There are chastity prayers and hail Mary’s. What could help would be go to adoration and pray the rosary regularly. If you can being going to mass during the week for a little top up on grace. Maybe something to remind you not to do this sin and to pray instead, in your room, like a statue of Our Lady or Sacred Heart image. And get it blessed by your priest. Remember these are temptations, just that, nothing more nothing less and you can overcome them, if you want too. I have a book called ‘saintly solutions to lifes problems -Fr Josepher Esper’ ( it only has a tiny section on lust and nothing about hormones) which helps with temptations/sins but there are many such books with advice from the saints

It might help to keep yourself busy and active at this time as well, perhaps some church group or volunteer group. God bless you
 
Eating is a biological urge. Stomach growls, we salivate, we can get light headed or snappy or sleepy, the body wants what it wants when it wants it.

In order to keep from hurting our bodies by eating every time we get the urge, we learn to master our appetites.

Fasting is important (unless you have health issues!!). Remember, Christ said “when you fast, do not be like…” He did not say “IF you fast…” Fasting is a way to get our bodily urges under submission. All of the urges, not just the urge for fried chicken.
 
TheLittleLady, are you referring to fasting apart from the ascribed times during Lent, abstinence on Fridays, and the Eucharistic fast one hour prior to receiving Communion is a requirement (which would probably explain the “when you fast…”, no?)? If so, all I can really say is that I respect that fasting (meaning anything outside what’s written above) works for many people but I personally would not consider it myself without the guidance of a spiritual director.

To get back to the main topic we’re discussing…I’ve been trying to point out that for some (perhaps many) women, there is something about our cycles that could make even those who are living the most chaste lives among us (not counting myself among this, but I’m sure there are sisters out there who are dealing with the same) struggle a lot. Not all women will experience this. But for those of us who do, I think that sometimes we need to balance the spiritual approach with the earthly and possibly medical.

I also think sometimes these conversations, especially when women are involved, can be painted by a lot of cultural expectations about who we are and what we’re supposed to be…which is why I’ve hesitated so long to say anything at all about this topic. There are always these underlying implications that struggling in this area means we’re somehow immature/like children or that we’re not resisting at all or doing the equivalent of eating fried chicken (why that example I wonder) or throwing a temper tantrum rather than it being discussed as something that can be a short-term challenge for some and a life-long struggle for others, depending on their state of life AND the graces they receive from God to resist. Furthermore, because I’ve been unable to find this specific example discussed, ever, the solutions to it will be aligned with what’s generally ascribed for the situation, even though there may be some important differences (as well as some aspects of our lives where God’s grace may lead us to seek out certain medical treatment).
 
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We can follow the Church and not go beyond the precepts (fast in Lent, receive the Eucharist once each year during Easter, go to Confession once each year, etc.)

To move beyond the bare minimum is a way to grow in grace and virtue.

We don’t need a spiritual director to say (as long as we are reasonably healthy people) “I’m going to fast from all meat on every Friday of the year” or “I’m going to do bread and water on Wednesdays”.
 
As long as growing in grace and virtue includes growing in humility alongside that… I may consider it.

I’ll take it to prayer and prefer not to discuss it further in relation to my original question or on this public board in general as it can be a difficult subject, particularly for some women.
 
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