The "near occasion of sin"

[BonnieBj]

I have a problem with things I see on TV causing impure (the majority of them) or other bad thoughts. I am trying to live a holier life and have become a Benedictine Oblate novice as part of that process. I have for many years had a problem with impure thoughts. One of the triggers is things said on TV or in movies. So I am most careful about what I watch. My husband, however, watches programs that cause me this problem. These programs are not in and of themselves bad, but some of the language really offends me, and I don’t think I am being supersensitive. They are programs like Law and Order and NYPD Blue. I have told him how I feel about them, but he continues to watch them. this forces me to retreat into another part of the house, most often to my bedroom (we both have sleep disorders and sleep in spearate rooms). I don’t know what to do about this. Any suggestions?

 

[Cherub]

If the things on the television trouble you and offend your conscience, then do not watch them. If something you see or hear is not something you would wish for God to hear in your presence, then let it not be heard. I have similar problems with television, and even radio lately. I can only stand to listen to classical stations or to NPR. I watch the Food Network, Travel and History Channels, HGTV, and sometimes the news. Impure thoughts are not so much a problem of mine as two other potentially sin-inspiring occasions: despair and anger. When I see violence and injustice, I despair and then become angry and feel helpless to do anything – but I have to remember that the things shown on television are extremes. I have to remind myself constantly that they are mostly there for shock value to up ratings. For every evil unrighteous thing reported on the nightly news, there are hundreds of good things unreported. Still, it affects me, so I try not to watch at times, and not to dwell on it.
You are doing the right thing to avoid what leads you to sin. Listen to that guiding spirit within you and don’t let anything make you feel isolated.

 

[jrabs]

You are already doing a good thing by retreating and fleeing the occasion to sin. Don’t discount the good that you are doing by that alone.

 

[BonnieBj]

Retreating and fleeing those near occasions of sin makes for quite a marriage. Since our house is structured so that the second floor has a bathroom, bedroom, and my studio, it’s almost like having my own monastery. Just have to come down to cook. But then too, if we hardly see each other because of this problem, how do we have a marriage. I get so angry sometimes that I’m forced to do this. And I don’t want to commit the sin of anger, but sometimes I can’t help but lash out at him.:banghead:

 

[DeDe63]

BonnieBj:

But then too, if we hardly see each other because of this problem, how do we have a marriage. I get so angry sometimes that I’m forced to do this. And I don’t want to commit the sin of anger, but sometimes I can’t help but lash out at him.:banghead:

Bonnie,
You and your husband need to start dating each other again.

You both have to set aside a time - say every friday night - as date night. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, just time where you both do something together beyond the usual routine (ie - no TV for hubby, no cloistering yourself upstairs).

Play board games.
Many towns have museums or concert series - lots of public libraries have lecture series.
If you’re both athletic, go biking, hiking, or just take a long walk together.

You get the idea. You’re doing the right thing in staying away for TV and movies if they are leading you to sin. You and your hubby just have to find other activities that you enjoy doing together.

 

[SPOKENWORD]

Satan is doing a wonderful job poisoning the mind of children and adults on tv.We need to be very careful with what we see and hear. Focus on things from above which is pure and holy.

 

[Deacon_Tony560]

Those who produce these shows are trying get everyone to believe that immorality is just fine. That way they can justify their own immoral lifestyles. As the Gospel teaches this week, don’t give up! The truth will triumph.
God bless
Deacon Tony SFO

 

[puzzleannie]

this whole TV thing really resonates with me. I hear you, and I also hear what you have not said, that you resent him choosing TV over you and your company. Get help, if you can drag him away from ESPN and so forth, go to Marriage Encounter or Retrouvaille. Try to convince him that for the sake of his health you need to walk, ride bikes, swim or do something active together. This may mean something drastic like taking up golf, but hey, love hurts, right?