"The One"

[CheesusPowerKid]

Hey all!

hehe, so this is kind of a weird post…but anyway

I guess this would probably only be for the married or engaged on the forums, but I was talking to my friend about how God made a spouse specifically for each of us. I was thinking about those called into vocations, and wondering if God also had a person planned for them too, or if it was always in His plan for them to marry the church instead. Do you think He has more than one plan for everyone?
I was also thinking about some of the “love stories” out there about finding that person. Do you believe that there is one person out there for everyone, or could there possibly be more than one? And for those who have found that person, were you looking for them or did you not even plan on it? Did you know the instant you met them or did it take a while? Just something that I’ve been thinking about…I’m only in high school, so it obviously won’t happen to me very soon, if at all, but I was just wondering about how it happened to the rest of you

In Him,
Britty

 

[cheddarsox]

I think there are many options out there for all of us.We are very adaptable! I think that the courting period is for us to find out what we like about the other person, what we like about ourselves, how we operate as a team, and if we can adapt to the other person’s style etc.

If you moved to a different state or country, you would meet different people, but probably find someone there to marry and make a life with.

A lot of it is being willing to let the person become the “one” in your life. The idea that there is one perfect mate out there can lead to much unhappiness. It keeps us looking over our shoulder, wondering, when times get rough, if we really ended up with our “one” or if we settled too soon, and maybe that new, interesting person was really the “one” god intended for us.

When we realize that we have the capability (much of the time) to make the relationship we are in the “one” wonderful relationship of our lives, we will put in the effort and make it so. It is not that I couldn’t love another, I have. But I choose to love my spouse and make that relationship the “one”. I choose to put my energy there.

If something happened to my spouse, (god forbid) and I was alone again, the love skills I learned loving him, would help me make another successful union with another committed person.

I think it is really important that you make sure the other person is committed not only to you, but to the real concept of marriage. If they see “bailing” as an option, and they are starry eyed and talk alot about soul mates…tread carefully. My hubby believed not just in the power of “our love” but in the power of personal responsibility and committment. He invested not only in our feelings, but in the marriage as an establishment.

I could be happy with another, but I choose to be happy with him. Instead of looking elsewhere, we look at each other. Instead of seeing a problem as being between us, we decided, before we married, that we would see problems as things we were up against together. That has been huge in making this marriage the joy it is.

I know that there are people who end up in horrible situations marriage wise, and I am not implying here that it is always their fault. There are levels of addiction and abuse that should not be tolerated. So please do not think I am passing judgement on those types of situations. I am not dealing with that, so I am answering this question based on the experience of a good basic marriage, that we cultivated into a great joyful marriage.

cheddar

 

[Princess_Abby]

cheddarsox:

I think there are many options out there for all of us.We are very adaptable! I think that the courting period is for us to find out what we like about the other person, what we like about ourselves, how we operate as a team, and if we can adapt to the other person’s style etc.

If you moved to a different state or country, you would meet different people, but probably find someone there to marry and make a life with.

A lot of it is being willing to let the person become the “one” in your life. The idea that there is one perfect mate out there can lead to much unhappiness. It keeps us looking over our shoulder, wondering, when times get rough, if we really ended up with our “one” or if we settled too soon, and maybe that new, interesting person was really the “one” god intended for us.

When we realize that we have the capability (much of the time) to make the relationship we are in the “one” wonderful relationship of our lives, we will put in the effort and make it so. It is not that I couldn’t love another, I have. But I choose to love my spouse and make that relationship the “one”. I choose to put my energy there.

If something happened to my spouse, (god forbid) and I was alone again, the love skills I learned loving him, would help me make another successful union with another committed person.

I think it is really important that you make sure the other person is committed not only to you, but to the real concept of marriage. If they see “bailing” as an option, and they are starry eyed and talk alot about soul mates…tread carefully. My hubby believed not just in the power of “our love” but in the power of personal responsibility and committment. He invested not only in our feelings, but in the marriage as an establishment.

I could be happy with another, but I choose to be happy with him. Instead of looking elsewhere, we look at each other. Instead of seeing a problem as being between us, we decided, before we married, that we would see problems as things we were up against together. That has been huge in making this marriage the joy it is.

I know that there are people who end up in horrible situations marriage wise, and I am not implying here that it is always their fault. There are levels of addiction and abuse that should not be tolerated. So please do not think I am passing judgement on those types of situations. I am not dealing with that, so I am answering this question based on the experience of a good basic marriage, that we cultivated into a great joyful marriage.

cheddar

This is right on.

 

[little_angel]

We will never know when or where we will meet the ‘one’. I believe that God had it all planned for us. We just have to wait. I also believe that there is ‘one’ out there for each of us. God has 3 answers to our prayers: YES, NO and NOT YET. I guess right now we are still having the NOT YET. But if we put our strength, minds, hearts and souls in prayers everyday, we will most definitely get a YES. Right now i’m still waiting for a YES:thumbsup: . It doesn’t matter if you’re 20, 30 or even 40, just wait…God’s time is always right and beautiful.

Well, that’s what i think. I don’t expect anyone to follow. It’s a good topic though…

 

[maendem]

As a woman in a very happy marriage, with a husband who seems to grow more wonderful by the day, I will nontheless insist that there is no “one” --a single, cosmic soul-mate–that God has picked out for us. This is a silly Hollywood dream composed of bad philosophy and some watered-down Kabbahlism.

It has been used to justify the most irresponsible, stupid and sinful behavior–“I can divorce my wife because she’s not the one”–and becomes even more problematic when a spouse dies and there’s the possibility of remarriage. Which one is/was the one? They can’t both be!

I have seen women stay with battering husbands or dead-beat boyfriends simply because they believe God picked the guy out for them.(poor God!) As a single woman, I was hounded by two nice Catholic men at different times who “knew in their hearts” that I was THE ONE…God had showed them. Their common sense, their ability to hear the words “no thanks” was swept away in a deluge of spiritualizing.

I have seen other young people bemoan and bewail their inability to find “the one,” without recognizing that grace builds on nature and that if they want to be a whole person, and an attractive partner, they first need to get off the couch and away from the TV, get involved in their community, take some care with their personal appearance and hygiene, and lay off the bad manners, grumpy moods, or whatever else is a social repellent.

So…I don’t believe in the “one” business. However:
I prayed on my knees for years that God would bring me to a man who loved Him and with whom I could fall in love, marry and raise a family. He did. In this sense I believe that God can help bring us to the one we choose to marry if we ask Him–He is our loving Father, after all! But there is no “should” involved, we always have the free will to make our own decisions, for good or bad, regarding a marriage partner. Then, as another poster put it so well, we “make” our spouse “the one” through daily commitment and love.

 

[But_for_Grace]

Yes there is only one path for each of our lives, God does not play dice with the universe. God is Eternal and Omnicient, that is he always has existed and always will exist and knows all things. God is unchanging, it is our understanding of God that changes.

That being said, I believe that there is only one path to our lives, even though we have free will and God does not impeed upon that, God also knows what we will choose before we choose it. God knows if I will choose a burger or a salad for diner and since the unchosen path never happens (because God already knows that we will not choose it anyway) there is no contingency for such a path. (call it a kind of economy if you like)

If we look at our lives from a larger perspective we will see God leading us to where he wants us to be. As to predestination, I would say we have a choice, but God being God knows what we will choose.

 

[Vaughn7107]

“THE ONE” does exist because if there is no such thing…that’s saying that God doesn’t have a plan and your life is up to chance. If your life is up to chance then everyone that you run into everyday could be “THE ONE” and so you would have to live in fear of walking right by them and missing them for the rest of your life. But because our lives AREN’T up to chance and God DOES have a plan we don’t have to live in that fear and we just have to rely on God to bring “THE ONE” to us in His timing. God’s timing is always right! When you do find “THE ONE” you will be amazed looking back how God brought you together and how all the circumstances worked together so that you would be at that very point in your life. As for people called to be a Nun or a Priest…I have no idea considering I am not Catholic and do not fully understand that issue. I don’t know if anyone cares that I posted this…but oh well.

Vaughn aka Ryan

 

[deb1]

“THE ONE” does exist because if there is no such thing…that’s saying that God doesn’t have a plan and your life is up to chance. If your life is up to chance then everyone that you run into everyday could be “THE ONE” and so you would have to live in fear of walking right by them and missing them for the rest of your life. But because our lives AREN’T up to chance and God DOES have a plan we don’t have to live in that fear and we just have to rely on God to bring “THE ONE” to us in His timing. God’s timing is always right! When you do find “THE ONE” you will be amazed looking back how God brought you together and how all the circumstances worked together so that you would be at that very point in your life. As for people called to be a Nun or a Priest…I have no idea considering I am not Catholic and do not fully understand that issue. I don’t know if anyone cares that I posted this…but oh well.

Vaughn aka Ryan

Non Catholics are welcome here.

 

[maendem]

“THE ONE” does exist because if there is no such thing…that’s saying that God doesn’t have a plan and your life is up to chance. If your life is up to chance then everyone that you run into everyday could be “THE ONE” and so you would have to live in fear of walking right by them and missing them for the rest of your life. But because our lives AREN’T up to chance and God DOES have a plan we don’t have to live in that fear and we just have to rely on God to bring “THE ONE” to us in His timing. God’s timing is always right! When you do find “THE ONE” you will be amazed looking back how God brought you together and how all the circumstances worked together so that you would be at that very point in your life. As for people called to be a Nun or a Priest…I have no idea considering I am not Catholic and do not fully understand that issue. I don’t know if anyone cares that I posted this…but oh well.

Vaughn aka Ryan

I’m glad you posted. But I’m curious: how does free choice and free will fit into the above scenario? If God has someone picked out for you, and you don’t choose them…what then?

 

[Vaughn7107]

maendem:

I’m glad you posted. But I’m curious: how does free choice and free will fit into the above scenario? If God has someone picked out for you, and you don’t choose them…what then?

That’s a wierd question. That’s complicated too because I don’t want to put words in God’s mouth. By saying “THE ONE” I am talking about the one God has planned for you…not the perfect spouse because none of us are perfect and thinking that you will find the perfect person out there is a fantasy and nothing more. God knows your entire path of life and each decision you make before you make it or live it. So “THE ONE” I believe cannot be missed because God already planned that you would be with that person at a certain point in your life. But honestly, that is confusing to me because my aunt never got married and I don’t think she ever will. I guess we can ask God about it in heaven some day because it is so mindblowing and such a God thing that puny humans can’t understand. God is God and we aren’t. Sorry I couldn’t really answer your question dead on but honestly I don’t think anyone can.

Vaughn aka Ryan