The pressure to "be supportive"

[Apologista]

Sometimes someone leaves the Catholic Church for what they claim is their spiritual calling. I have in mind right now a female who felt she was being called to priesthood so she changed to Episcopalian so she could pursue that.

It bothers me that other Catholics are cheering her on in a Facebook context. I just can’t bring myself to even be a part of that conversation. And if someone asks me, I will explain - speak the truth in love - my reasoning. But for right now I’m not going to get in an argument either, since it’s a friend of a friend that I don’t really know.

But why do Catholics like those I describe above think they’re doing such a great thing? Is it that they really think we women should be priests or is it just social conformity?

I think the same thing happens with other moral issues as well quite a bit these days.

 

[Bill_Martin]

It’s the “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” effect. I’m sure there are plenty of people who had the reaction you did and likewise did what you did–avoid needless strife with someone you don’t know. Thus, the only comments you see are supportive ones.

Sometimes that is the right thing to do, sometimes it isn’t. I’m of the opinion that it is generally better to avoid alienating people and simply refrain from saying anything that might do that. It’s easier to convince people of the truth when they like you than when their defenses are up. People tend to form a response as soon as they are presented with information, and they ignore the rest of the message. If they’re instantly reacting to what they believe is an attack against them, they are not going to even be listening to anything else you say. Building and nurturing friendships is the surest way to influence someone for the better, and often times speaking out against what that person is doing just pushes them away.

Of course, there are situations where it is wrong to remain silent, but it’s really a case-by-case basis. I think that speaking out and not caring about whether it is popular is more effective when it is a general issue, such as abortion legality, than an individual who may just become bitter towards “those Catholics” because of being told what to do by them. Speaking up forcefully on issue on the macro-scale is unlikely to have that effect on a person.

 

[Jon_S_1]

Sometimes someone leaves the Catholic Church for what they claim is their spiritual calling. I have in mind right now a female who felt she was being called to priesthood so she changed to Episcopalian so she could pursue that.

It bothers me that other Catholics are cheering her on in a Facebook context. I just can’t bring myself to even be a part of that conversation. And if someone asks me, I will explain - speak the truth in love - my reasoning. But for right now I’m not going to get in an argument either, since it’s a friend of a friend that I don’t really know.

But why do Catholics like those I describe above think they’re doing such a great thing? Is it that they really think we women should be priests or is it just social conformity?

I think the same thing happens with other moral issues as well quite a bit these days.

Our secular culture of relativism strikes again

 

[PaulfromIowa]

I am not sure what you mean by “cheering her on.” That could mean anything.

It is a pure tragedy for anyone to leave the Catholic Church for the increasingly unorthodox Episcopal church. We should pray for anyone so misguided. That is how we can “be supportive.”

 

[tequirk]

I agree with others on here who are counselling you to pray for the person and show love and support in ways other that directly rooting for actions which clearly go against Church wisdom. For me, it’s case by case, but usually on FB I would maintain silence in that kind of situation. As a side note, I doubt that the woman in question had strong Catholic faith to begin with, if she left the Church under the circumstances you describe. Pray that God brings her back home to Rome.

Hope this helps. Thanks for reading.

Yours in Jesus through Mary,

Tom

 

[MarcoPolo]

But why do Catholics like those I describe above think they’re doing such a great thing? Is it that they really think we women should be priests or is it just social conformity?

There might not be a single answer that applies to everyone. Some might really think women should be priests or some might just cave into the illusion that support for anything is the loving response.

If there are “Catholics” who believe women should be priests and they are aware that the male priesthood is a dogmatic teaching, then they essentially excommunicate themselves late sententiae. Others just treat Catholicism as a club or monicker by which they call themselves but they do whatever, and they are essentially impostor Catholics who skew polls, etc…