The Rules Say to Go But Can I Go Alone?

  • Thread starter Thread starter sadowa
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

sadowa

Guest
Is it permissible to go to church and keep to oneself? I will be moving about soon and no longer feel anything towards my old parrish but memories about things lost and past. I stopped going to chuch for awhile because of this. Now it has occurred to me to go to a nearby Fransican monastery, mostly on Saturday. I am not oriented towards being a brother and am probably too old, old and sick. As well as infatuated with the ladies. I plan to attend Mass either in english or spanish. stand in back. I will tithe and light candles. I will go to confession. Happiness has little to do with this. It is a fear of not following the rules.

By the way do you think I would be better off quitting if going to church basically makes me unhappy and I attend for other reasons. Is happiness a prerequisite for attending Mass? Please don’t suggest more involvement in a parrish because none, and I mean none of them has anything for a Sunday throughThursday shift worker who is right now writing at 3:43 AM EDT. I might be asleep by 5:30 AM. I travel on Saturdays. I can catch Mass on the road and plan to. But, this only underscores the idea of being there, anywhere a Mass is because I’m suppose to. I am trying to change jobs both for financial independence and to regain Sunday. However, at present I am stuck. Yet parrish life dissapointed me more than anything in my life except my futie pursuit of a woman to marry. I believe it is all about the rules now. That and my ailing Father wants me to return. The worst thing of all is I don’t want to be around happy strangers who are trying to pull me towards them. It can bring on a side of me I want no one to see. I figure these folks don’t need any malcontent behavior from me, so keep my distance. I guess it makes going to Mass a bit like going to the motor vehicle administration. But the rules tell me I have to go both places. Thank you for you time and consideration of this matter.

Sincerely,

AC
 
Who says you’ll be there alone? The Lord will be with you. The main thing is to go. Participating with others is optional, but is important because we have to care for God as well as our neighbor. But we can each do it in our own way. I say, since you don’t feel like participating, to try to find a way to do it, inorder to get beyond yourself and what you feel comfortable with. Just keep your eyes and ears open. Maybe talk to the priest or brothers. Mostly just prey and let the Lord guide you. There are lots of people who’d love someone to talk and care for them who don’t have many friends or families. No worries just go to Mass and pray to God to open places where he wants you to participate, in a way he wants you to. I’m not talking about this committe or that committee, but sometimes just a smile or saying hello can be enough.
 
Sadowa, how long have you been feeling the way you do?
Are you experiencing a “Dark Night of the Soul?”
Please try to find (most libraries can special order it) St. John of the Cross’s “Dark Night of the Soul”. It might help explain why you feel the way you do. Also, there are good Carmelite sites which talk about St. John and St. Theresa of Avila and give excellent spiritual insights on these teachings. This spiritual dryness could be the start of a whole new blessed and joyful life in God for you. I’ll be praying for you. God bless.
 
happiness is not a requirement

fulfillment is not a requirement
sense of community is not a requirement
good feeling afterward is not a requirement

the only requirement is faithfulness (Mother Teresa of Calcutta)
the true test of your faith is whether or not you continue obeying Jesus, attending His Sacrifice of the Mass, even though it brings you no joy but has become a burden
That is when true love begins.
 
I suffer from bipolar disorder. The company of others is often a difficult complication. Furthermore, it is hard to feel a faithful attnendee of Mass even after Confession, when you know you will reach a point that some compulsion when have you break some rule. There is absolutlely no doubt this will happen. To say otherwise makes the idea of faith and prayer over a struggle seem like Peter Pan fighting the pirate: make believe. In my world, faith and prayer is always caught up in failure and more shamefully, falling short. Therefore, it becomes a type of circular process.

At least I do not go down the road others have with this disorder. I do not dwell on throwing my life away. I am old enough that a sort of ironic, “Well if I was going to do that I should have done that thirty years ago.” serves to mitigate the worst aspects of self destructive behavior. So I do things that are sinful and stupid, but not disastrous in themselves. Unfortunately I have had disastrous inteactions at work, academics and especially seeking matrimony. In the case of matrimony I feel like God is hitting me in his paws like a cat with a toy. In turn I like the sins related to assuaging this lonliness. None the less I am not proud of this. It just is.

What makes me feel unworthy about that is I can Confess each Saturday and sin on Friday, even after having a good intention. But, what if I die on Friday night or Saturday morning? What becomes a soul on a roller coaster of compulsion. The worst of it is I am so tired aboout this process I don’t care how it turns out.

I can see one way compulsion will end in my life if I live long enough to be completely feeble and incabable of sin. Yet, this will certainly cause temptations to escape suffering. I resent suffering I think the people who make official pronouncements about it often do not know what they are talking about. I am sure everyone has his problems, but they very by type and magnitude.

I am trying to get back to Church for the worst reason. Perhaps it was Pascal’'s reasoning, it goes along the lines that I better not take any chances. Above all this is why I want to stand off in the corner of a monastery for Mass. Or I can see me as I travel in a different church every Saturday evening. Whatever the case I will be the person visiting your parrish who averts his eyes at the sign of peace because I have no peace to give. My work is day by day simply to keep emotions and compulsions under control. Often I slip backwards, too often to fool myself. I appreciate the kind words so far. I do see the good in each person.

Sincerely,

AC
 
We go to Mass to worship Jesus and enter into the most intimate communion with Him in the Eucharist.

We’re not there to make friends, have a good time, pick up women, be happy, etc, etc. If that stuff happens, hey, great. If not, no big deal. 👍
 
I understand some of where you are coming from. I have Asperger’s Syndrome (I know i misspelled that), which is a form of low level autism, making small little things, like deciding what to order from menu at a restaurant, into a huge ordeal that I can have major trouble with.

I have some Bible readings for you to look at. I hope they will help.

Romans 9:18-23

Consequently, he has mercy upon whom he wills, and he hardens whom he wills. You will say to me then, “Why then does he still find fault? For who can oppose his will?” But who indeed are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Will what is made say to its maker, “Why have you created me so?” Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for a noble purpose and another for an ignoble one? What if God, wishing to show his wrath and make known his power, has endured with much patience the vessels of wrath made for destruction? This was to make known the riches of his glory to the vessels of mercy, which he has prepared previously for glory,

Personally, I see this passage as saying that God has given some of us huge challenges right from the start, we were made to be the way we are. And instead of crying out “Why?” we should be thankful that God has a plan for us, that we were made special for a reason. And believe me, I know this can be nearly impossible to accept at times, but it is true. The more I have thought about this passage, the more it starts to make sense to me. Then there are times that toss all that in the trash and I rail against my lot in life that God has given me, but when I am in a more lucid mood, I look around and realize all in my life that reflects God’s goodness.

Matthew 19:12

Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it.

Now this is a really difficult teaching to accept if one feels called to the vocation of marriage. It comes back to being the person that God made us to be, and trying to reconcile a desire that we feel within ourselves, as a major part of ourselves, namely companionship, with the lack of fullfillment thus far in our lives. I have found that once I give up a major longing of my heart, God then sees fit to grant it to me. For example, I have long felt the calling to be wife and mother, to have a family, but all I met with was dispair. I gave up my dream and basically said, “God, do what you will.” and now He seems on the verge of blessing me with what I have longed for all along.
I think the key here is to give up. To give up concious control and stop trying anything to make it happen and give it all to God. Stop wanting, stop yearning, stop striving for the strongest calling in your heart, the thing you feel God wants you to have the most. Surrender it all to God. “Let go and Let God.” This is one of the most difficult things I can think of. It means letting go of something you feel is a part of who you are, your identity, and it feels nearly immpossible. It took me years and countless tears before I gave up my dreams to God. And now I stand on the verge of possibly seeing my given up dreams coming to fruition.
 
40.png
sadowa:
I suffer from bipolar disorder. The company of others is often a difficult complication. Furthermore, it is hard to feel a faithful attnendee of Mass even after Confession, when you know you will reach a point that some compulsion when have you break some rule. There is absolutlely no doubt this will happen. To say otherwise makes the idea of faith and prayer over a struggle seem like Peter Pan fighting the pirate: make believe. In my world, faith and prayer is always caught up in failure and more shamefully, falling short. Therefore, it becomes a type of circular process.

**Did not Paul the Apostle say (in Romans 7:19) **
**“For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do”? **
Even the great Apostle was not immune to this struggle. But he also wrote: (Romans 8:1-2) "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death."

At least I do not go down the road others have with this disorder. I do not dwell on throwing my life away. I am old enough that a sort of ironic, “Well if I was going to do that I should have done that thirty years ago.” serves to mitigate the worst aspects of self destructive behavior. So I do things that are sinful and stupid, but not disastrous in themselves. Unfortunately I have had disastrous inteactions at work, academics and especially seeking matrimony. In the case of matrimony I feel like God is hitting me in his paws like a cat with a toy. In turn I like the sins related to assuaging this lonliness. None the less I am not proud of this. It just is.

What makes me feel unworthy about that is I can Confess each Saturday and sin on Friday, even after having a good intention. But, what if I die on Friday night or Saturday morning? What becomes a soul on a roller coaster of compulsion. The worst of it is I am so tired aboout this process I don’t care how it turns out.

I can see one way compulsion will end in my life if I live long enough to be completely feeble and incabable of sin. Yet, this will certainly cause temptations to escape suffering. I resent suffering I think the people who make official pronouncements about it often do not know what they are talking about. I am sure everyone has his problems, but they very by type and magnitude.

I am trying to get back to Church for the worst reason. Perhaps it was Pascal’'s reasoning, it goes along the lines that I better not take any chances. Above all this is why I want to stand off in the corner of a monastery for Mass. Or I can see me as I travel in a different church every Saturday evening. Whatever the case I will be the person visiting your parrish who averts his eyes at the sign of peace because I have no peace to give.

Luke 18:13 -14 "But the publican, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying “Lord, be merciful to me, a sinner!” I tell you, this man went home justified rather than the other."

My work is day by day simply to keep emotions and compulsions under control. Often I slip backwards, too often to fool myself. I appreciate the kind words so far. I do see the good in each person.

Sincerely,

AC
Click to expand...
Be comforted: the Good Shepherd does not abandon even the least of His Sheep.
 
I teach that God calls us to follow Him (go to Mass) at least out of obedience. He prefers that we go out of love. But like any parent, He also loves those who do His bidding because they want to follow the rules.

I would pray for the Holy Spirit to fill you with that joy that can come with attending Mass. And keep going, regardless.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top