The Santa Question

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My 10 year old son demanded today “Mom, is Santa real, or have you and Dad been lying to us all this time?” After wrestling with that question, I looked at him directly and confessed the truth. He asked why so many parents lied to their children about Santa. I joked about the world economy crashing if Santa were to disappear. He knew I was joking, but his question made total sense to me. I was ashamed for perpetuating a lie that got harder every year to maintain. I told my son I was proud of him for demanding honesty, and that perhaps he would bring the world back to Jesus, and away from the materialism celebrated every Dec. 25th.

What are your thoughts: has the whole Santa / Easter Bunny thing really become a subversive way of taking the glory away from Jesus?
I’m trying not to blow this out of proportion, but should we start a revolution to replace Santa with Jesus by telling the truth to all our children?

I told the truth tonight, I am relieved, and my kids actually lived thru it. Now we can celebrate Christmas and Easter like we always do, but it will be Jesus’ birthday and resurrection, without the big guy in red or the fluffy bunny.
 
I have friends that do not promote Santa or the Easter Bunny for that purpose…they want their children to appreciate the true meaning of those holidays. However, that makes it difficult for those of us who do want to promote it. Their kids go to school and tell my kids there is no such thing! So I lie some more…Those that do not believe, do not receive! I have told my children many times…“I wouldn’t lie to you.” and then I do…every Christmas and Easter! Oh and after every lost tooth 😃
It isn’t the end of the world when they finally confront you…it’s a relief actually. My daughter is 12. She knows…not because we told her…but she keeps quiet for her younger brothers to enjoy the excitement.
Do our children still know and value the true meaning? YOU BETCHA!!! Jesus is #1 here! I think that the parents have everything to do with their children’s spiritual committment to these holidays. Santa…Easter Bunny…they are just secondary to the joy and praise we give Jesus Christ on Christmas and Easter.
But you have to do what is right for your family…I can see the flip side of my response…I’m just a little more laid back.

God Bless
~Weezir
 
In our family we do not do Santa. We celebrate the birth of Jesus and tell the story of St Nicholas. We chose this route because I didn’t want my son to believe in something other than the true meaning of the Christmas. I have friends who go all out with the Santa Claus thing, and do not believe I would have kept up with the myth the way they do. Plus, I don’t want to feel like a hypocrite telling my son not to lie and then me lying to him about something big (big in the eyes of some people).

If you do Santa in your homes. I hope no one takes offense to my line about being a hypocrite. I am in no way calling anyone except myself from this post a hypocrite.
 
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SueG:
My 10 year old son demanded today “Mom, is Santa real, or have you and Dad been lying to us all this time?” After wrestling with that question, I looked at him directly and confessed the truth. He asked why so many parents lied to their children about Santa. I joked about the world economy crashing if Santa were to disappear. He knew I was joking, but his question made total sense to me. I was ashamed for perpetuating a lie that got harder every year to maintain. I told my son I was proud of him for demanding honesty, and that perhaps he would bring the world back to Jesus, and away from the materialism celebrated every Dec. 25th.

What are your thoughts: has the whole Santa / Easter Bunny thing really become a subversive way of taking the glory away from Jesus?
I’m trying not to blow this out of proportion, but should we start a revolution to replace Santa with Jesus by telling the truth to all our children?

I told the truth tonight, I am relieved, and my kids actually lived thru it. Now we can celebrate Christmas and Easter like we always do, but it will be Jesus’ birthday and resurrection, without the big guy in red or the fluffy bunny.
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most likely some JW has spoken with your child… do not know for sure, but i was fussed at one time about lying to my children about Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc… I politely responded that Santa Clause does exist in the minds and hearts of many, and I definetly support their right to believe how they wish… now as for your children, i guess the best way i know to respond to this is probably the way i responded to my children… my 2 oldest are 25, the 3rd is 21, and the 4th is 16… and i still maintain that Santa Clause is real and they haven’t caught him yet… i don’t, or won’t admit that Santa Clause is a myth… because…he’s not… in the minds of many… as for a child asking me why we would lie to them,… well i guess after they picked themselves up off the floor for accusing their parents of lying, then we would have that discussion… i wish people who **don’t believe ** as you do, and **think you should ** have to believe as they do would get a grip! 👍

I support the decisions you and your spouse make for your children, and the H with the rest of the world… :eek:

I will probably get suspended for that last sentence… :cool:

…ok with that too… :cool:
 
I love the tradition of Santa Claus and I am in no way advocating the ending of this tradition, but I have recently come to regret deceiving my 10-year old daughter about the truth of Santa.

My wife and I have been going through a terrible period with my daughter. She is having a very difficult time differentiating between her imagination and reality. I had to sit down and tell her to trust me that I would protect her from any ‘real threats’ and see make sure that no harm would come to her. I stated that I never lied to her in the past and would not begin now. She responded that I had lied to her about the existence of Santa Claus. We got over that, I think, but I admit that I did feel like a hypocrite.
 
Bud Stewart:
I love the tradition of Santa Claus and I am in no way advocating the ending of this tradition, but I have recently come to regret deceiving my 10-year old daughter about the truth of Santa.

My wife and I have been going through a terrible period with my daughter. She is having a very difficult time differentiating between her imagination and reality. I had to sit down and tell her to trust me that I would protect her from any ‘real threats’ and see make sure that no harm would come to her. I stated that I never lied to her in the past and would not begin now. She responded that I had lied to her about the existence of Santa Claus. We got over that, I think, but I admit that I did feel like a hypocrite.
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YOU ARE NOT A HYPOCRITE!.. 👍
 
When I was a child and found out there was no Santa Clause, the first thing I thought was, oh no, is Jesus just make believe, too? I thought long and hard about that when I had children and decided not to lie to them about Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy. We told them Santa was a real person named St. Nicholas, and that we celebrate his generosity and charity at Christmas time because that’s when we got the greatest gift of all (Jesus). Easter Bunner (because bunnies have so many babies) represents new life (resurrection). We still say Santa is coming and Easter Bunny, and we all know we’re just pretending. Kids love to pretend, and it’s especially fun when mom and dad join in. But we tell them the truth when they ask, and even though they know the truth it hasn’t taken the fun out of it at all, we’ve retained our credibility and Jesus is indisputedly and undeniably REAL!! Peace in Christ +
 
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jjanderson:
When I was a child and found out there was no Santa Clause, the first thing I thought was, oh no, is Jesus just make believe, too? I thought long and hard about that when I had children and decided not to lie to them about Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy. We told them Santa was a real person named St. Nicholas, and that we celebrate his generosity and charity at Christmas time because that’s when we got the greatest gift of all (Jesus). Easter Bunner (because bunnies have so many babies) represents new life (resurrection). We still say Santa is coming and Easter Bunny, and we all know we’re just pretending. Kids love to pretend, and it’s especially fun when mom and dad join in. But we tell them the truth when they ask, and even though they know the truth it hasn’t taken the fun out of it at all, we’ve retained our credibility and Jesus is indisputedly and undeniably REAL!! Peace in Christ +
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Me and every parent i’m sure agree with your position… Peace! 👍
 
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jjanderson:
…I thought long and hard about that when I had children and decided not to lie to them about Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy. We told them Santa was a real person named St. Nicholas, and that we celebrate his generosity and charity at Christmas time because that’s when we got the greatest gift of all (Jesus). …But we tell them the truth when they ask, and even though they know the truth it hasn’t taken the fun out of it at all, we’ve retained our credibility and Jesus is indisputedly and undeniably REAL!! Peace in Christ +
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I like your approach. I don’t think that children should loose any of the ‘wonderment’ of Christmas, but the season is truly a time about reality. The reality is Jesus. It sounds to me that you have done an excellent job at keeping and teaching Christmas.

Thanks for sharing.
👍
 
I just want to say: [POST=40684]YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST![/POST]
:rotfl:

Now if only I could predict tonight’s lottery numbers! 😛

your psycho^H^H^H^H^H^H psychic friend,
tee
 
Good thread!

I did not want to introduce Santa or the Easter Bunny. My husband really wanted to. Why create stress which will surface annually & would spoil the beauty of the season. So Santa & the Easter Bunny are a part (not main part) of our holidays.

Jesus is 1st in our home, and we stress the true meaning of Christmas & Easter. We explain that, just as we decorate & celebrate for their birthdays & maybe introduce a theme, we can do the same for Jesus as long as we don’t forget whose party it’s for.

We talk each year about St. Nicholas too. I tell them that some where along the line somebody decided to make his clothes look different, plump him up, then the sleigh & reindeer were added, etc., etc. I try to include the truth always. I have never lied to them just allowed them to use their imaginations like when they had imaginary friends.

When questions are asked such as, “How can the reindeer fly” I ask, “What do you think?” , and they give me an answer which they can understand.

I’ll also say, “Let’s be Santa for somebody else”, and we’ll do something special for someone. I always stress that the reason for the holiday is Jesus and that everything else is fun and extra. One of my favorite holiday decorations is a statue of Santa with hat off & head bowed kneeling at the foot of Jesus in the manger.

I hope that when all is said & done our children will understand that this is a fun tradition, which when done right, shouldn’t take away from Jesus.
 
We believed in Santa when I was growing up, but my parents didn’t lie to us about him. We just picked up the idea from other people, the mall, wrapping paper, etc., and they went along with it. On the inevitable day when we came home from school asking “is he real?” my mom said, “Some kids believe in him; some kids don’t. That’s up to you to decide. But, he doesn’t bring presents to the ones who don’t believe in him!” 😛

IMO, this sort of relativist approach is bad for teaching religion, but great for teaching about Santa. 😛 We never believed in him with any kind of theological certitude, but, given the potential loss of presents, we gave him the benefit of the doubt for a very long time. And we had lots of fun in the process. 🙂

If we do this with our kids, we’ll also tell them that Santa Claus (if he exists) is just a delivery man. The gifts really come from the Christ Child. (Which is true, when it comes down to it.) 🙂
 
I have no memory of being traumatized by the realization that Santa was not “real”. My friends and I sorta figured it out when we were about 5. It was not a big deal and quite fun to keep the mystery alive. I laugh when I think back to my girlfriend and I having this discussion because we had come to the conclusion that there was definitely not a Santa Claus but we were sure there was an Easter Bunny, LOL.

I don’t view this as deception. I see it more as an imaginary adventure. As a matter of fact, I see it, also, as a tradition that my parents passed down to me. Not any attempt to deceive on their part but to keep alive a tradition. They must have enjoyed it when they were children and wanted their children to experience it in the same way. Why does everything have to be cut and dry for children? Life is too full of “real” stuff.

My own kids have not ever told me that they felt deceived. On contrary it seems that learning that mom and dad are really Santa was more like a passage for them. It showed them they were growing up and made them feel more mature.

We do not replace Jesus with Santa. My home is decorated in Nativity scenes and the spiritual and religious aspect is very much taught and alive. “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” is our motto all during the Christmas season.

Of course, everyone has their own experiences and I think that if you feel you are deceiving your children then it is better that you let them know.

I see no problem keeping alive the tradition and magic of Santa Claus.:clapping:
 
The Rigbys:
We believed in Santa when I was growing up, but my parents didn’t lie to us about him. On the inevitable day when we came home from school asking “is he real?” my mom said, “Some kids believe in him; some kids don’t. That’s up to you to decide. But, he doesn’t bring presents to the ones who don’t believe in him!” 😛

IMO, this sort of relativist approach is bad for teaching religion, but great for teaching about Santa. 😛 We never believed in him with any kind of theological certitude, but, given the potential loss of presents, we gave him the benefit of the doubt for a very long time. And we had lots of fun in the process. 🙂

If we do this with our kids, we’ll also tell them that Santa Claus (if he exists) is just a delivery man. The gifts really come from the Christ Child. (Which is true, when it comes down to it.) 🙂
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I think this is great!

I always ask, “What do you think?” It gives me insight into their level of understanding. Now when my oldest asks, “Are you really Santa?” I ask her, “Are you having fun with this?” When she tells me she is I say, “Then let’s just keep having fun”.
 
Okay, that’s not really *all * I wanted to say.

I did not lie to my children about Santa Claus. But I did (and do) tell them stories and play pretend. And I think “lying” is the key point.

Without having closely read through this thread (I was too excited to have seen my prediction come true 😃 ) most people in my experience who were traumatized to learn the truth about Santa Claus had been lied to by their parents. That is: They had learned or figured out the truth behind the presents, and either confronted or at least expressed doubts to their parents, and their parents had (at that point) lied to them in what I consider an unwise attempt to perpetuate the story for its own sake.

On the other hand, when my son was in the second grade, and frankly I was getting a little worried that he was hanging onto this belief too long*, I was relieved that he asked me “Dad, does Santa Claus really exist?”

Me: “What do you think?”

He: “I don’t know…”

Me: “What about the presents?”

He: “Well, you and Mom could be doing that after we go to bed…”

Then I winked at him and said: “Don’t tell your sister” 😉

He got the biggest grin 😃 and was thrilled to be in on the story wrt his sister.

I believe there would have been serious repercussions if instead, I had lied to him at this point.

I am a little distressed that the OP’s son asked about being lied to. I hope you have not lied to him (a la above), and, now that you have told him the truth can also show him the difference between telling a story for pretend and telling a lie.

(* I was the 4th of 5 children, and don’t remember ever believing. In fact, I have a pretty vivid memory (which she denies) of my sister telling me “There’s no Santa. Mom and Dad leave the presents”
Though I don’t recall any particular trauma, the only reaction I can imagine I might have had is “Santa? Mom & Dad? Who cares – As long as there’s presents!” 😛 )

not crying nor pouting (better safe than sorry),
tee
 
Oh, the other one I remember from my childhood: My parents telling us that Santa Claus exists as “the spirit of giving gifts at Christmas time”

With my limited child’s vocabulary, I didn’t think “Christmas spirit”, I conjured up images of a ghost! :eek: At least that explained how he could slip down the chimney even though our flue was sealed shut. 😛
:rotfl:

not shouting either (cf. above),
tee
 
Wow I don’t even want to know what this crowd thinks about Halloween. We did all that stuff and I think as Fr. Stravinskas wrote that a properly taught child can absorb quite a bit of myth and not lose faith. All this anti-Santa, anti-Easter Bunny and anti-Halloween is not Catholic but fundamentalist. It is great that you meet them at abortion mills when you protest but please do a better job sifting out the errors before you come back to the parish. That goes for homeschooling, too. Sorry.

Jesus is the reason for the season but just as the blessed Mother does not take away from Him neither does Santa Claus. Remember who were the first to try to kill the Santa story and work on 12/25. The churches were all closed on 12/25(unless it was Sunday) here in America because all that Santa(Satan apparaently) was CATHOLIC!!!
 
My kids were spared all the angst because, from the beginning, we treated the whole Santa Claus thing as what it is: a pleasant fairy tale, no more real than Mickey Mouse (we also made sure they knew that fairies, elves, etc, were make-believe). Of course that didn’t stop them from putting out cookies and milk – and giving their Mother and I a wink when they were gone the next day. We also explained the Santa Claus/Saint Nicholas/Sinterklaas connection.

When we’d see “Santa” in the shopping mall, we’d ask, “What do you think about all this?” Both children agreed that whoever that man was, it was pretty nice for him to talk to the kids and pose for pictures. I think this tactic spared us all a lot of grief later on 🙂

Before I had kids, I used to dress up as Santa (often for a fee), but re-thought it when I knew I’d be having children of my own. I gave the suit away. Santa – like dressing up as cowboys or princesses for Hallowe’en – used to be just a simple, fun thing for kids, but it’s gotten waayyyyy out of hand; if it all stopped tomorrow, I’d frankly be a little relieved.
 
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