The Sin of Detraction and seeking advice

[Timidity]

Is seeking advice from someone an “objectively valid reason” to “disclose another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them”?

As an example, if a woman knows her husband is cheating on her, can she share this information with her sister in hope of receiving advice on how best to handle the situation, or would that still be the sin of detraction?

 

[BillP]

Timidity:

Is seeking advice from someone an “objectively valid reason” to “disclose another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them”?

As an example, if a woman knows her husband is cheating on her, can she share this information with her sister in hope of receiving advice on how best to handle the situation, or would that still be the sin of detraction?

It depends on what was in her heart. If she did it to tear down her sisters image of the husband it would be detraction. If she blurted it out in anguish seeking comfort or advice it wouldn’t be. Only the woman and God know for sure. That’s why we are enjoined to be charitable and not make assumptions.

 

[Timidity]

BillP:

That’s why we are enjoined to be charitable and not make assumptions.

Just to be clear here–there’s no one making assumptions. In fact, in the example I gave, I imagine there would be no one to make such assumptions because no one else would know.

BillP:

It depends on what was in her heart. If she did it to tear down her sisters image of the husband it would be detraction. If she blurted it out in anguish seeking comfort or advice it wouldn’t be.

There’s a whole middle ground there that you didn’t cover, and it’s that middle ground I’m most interested in.

Say the woman is in inner turmoil, and desparelty seeking someone to talk things through with. If for no other reason than to seek the comfort of a friend in a trying situation and a sounding board through which to form a plan for the future. So she would be telling her sister, but deliberately, not “blurting it out.”