I
Ioana
Guest
So I’ve recently had some doubts that made me go really uneasy, but I can say I’ve pretty much resolved all of them. Through them I kept telling myself “I know that I am either wrong or misunderstanding something” and although they affected me emotionally I think I pretty much did nothing wrong there, I kept believing everything we’re supposed to.
But I was having this conversation with God and with an imaginary accuser which kind of represented all possible doubts that could ever arise, even those which I cannot forsee right now (ie if somebody could someday somehow show a fault in my logic). I concluded that nothing this imaginary accuser could show could persuade me because I believe in the Ressurection, apostolic succession and Peter’s primacy. To which (in this imaginary dialogue) the reply was “What if I could sink your reasoning for apostolic succession and Peter’s primacy. By rejecting those arguments under the guise of faith aren’t you being closed to God?” To that I said (and I hesitated a long while before saying it out loud because I had heard voluntary doubt was a sin) “Well I don’t see how that could happen but with no false modesty attached I admit that God is clearly much more intelligent than me and I will research an construct a very solid argument. I ask God to help me in this and I am open to anything He’d show me, even if He’d show I’m wrong.” I then freaked out a bit after I said this and added something along the lines of “But He won’t and I don’t even have any level of involuntary doubt about this currently.”
Basically I was kind of saying that our whole faith is built on Revelation which reached its peak in Christ and currently exists through Scripture and Sacred Tradition. The basis of that is that Christ created the Church, that it cannot teach error and that it was entrusted to the Apostoles. Not only is this suggested in the Bible but it seems to have been Early Christian understanding. If I construct a solid argument for the second part of the above statement I’m not merely a person interpreting the Bible in some way that I happen to like but I am using concrete historical fact that makes my position rock solid.
But then I did kind of ask God to show me if the Catholic Church is wrong. How badly did I mess up?
But I was having this conversation with God and with an imaginary accuser which kind of represented all possible doubts that could ever arise, even those which I cannot forsee right now (ie if somebody could someday somehow show a fault in my logic). I concluded that nothing this imaginary accuser could show could persuade me because I believe in the Ressurection, apostolic succession and Peter’s primacy. To which (in this imaginary dialogue) the reply was “What if I could sink your reasoning for apostolic succession and Peter’s primacy. By rejecting those arguments under the guise of faith aren’t you being closed to God?” To that I said (and I hesitated a long while before saying it out loud because I had heard voluntary doubt was a sin) “Well I don’t see how that could happen but with no false modesty attached I admit that God is clearly much more intelligent than me and I will research an construct a very solid argument. I ask God to help me in this and I am open to anything He’d show me, even if He’d show I’m wrong.” I then freaked out a bit after I said this and added something along the lines of “But He won’t and I don’t even have any level of involuntary doubt about this currently.”
Basically I was kind of saying that our whole faith is built on Revelation which reached its peak in Christ and currently exists through Scripture and Sacred Tradition. The basis of that is that Christ created the Church, that it cannot teach error and that it was entrusted to the Apostoles. Not only is this suggested in the Bible but it seems to have been Early Christian understanding. If I construct a solid argument for the second part of the above statement I’m not merely a person interpreting the Bible in some way that I happen to like but I am using concrete historical fact that makes my position rock solid.
But then I did kind of ask God to show me if the Catholic Church is wrong. How badly did I mess up?