The Spiritual Father in EC

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ByzantineHeart

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Oh my, I had a long thread typed out and lost it in a wifi crash… 😦 I’m going to try and be brief and precise as possible. Please note that I have no experience with Byzantine Catholicism, just Orthodoxy, and I can’t say whether the same applies for BC’s, but…

Is there a reason the spiritual father/director seems to hold so much more sway in the East than in the Catholic West? For example, the EO spiritual father I had needed to give me a blessing to say certain prayers and practice certain devotions. (I was crushed when he forbade me to say the rosary, and actually did it anyway, which he never knew.) I’ve read in certain monastic literature that the elder/staretz/geron is to be obeyed literally as God. Okay, well for monastics who choose to live that life, that makes sense. For laypersons though? I mean, previously as a Roman Catholic I had a lot of freedom in my devotional and spiritual life. My RC pastor may have made a few recommendations but always left the decisions to me. I never felt the need to have his “blessing” to say the Chaplet of St. Michael, or the Jesus Prayer, or to read Billy Graham books. My Orthodox spiritual father, by contrast, as already demonstrated, held a lot more sway over those things. I’m not sure if this is the norm or if I just happened to choose a very nasty/austere Orthodox priest to be my spiritual father, but I actually hated going to confession with him (and I was never to confess to any other priest, even my parish priest, without his blessing–whereas in RC, confession is confession and you can talk to any priest you want). He would literally yell at me during confession, he would be irate and furious over my seeming inability to overcome a certain sin. I almost would rather have died in mortal sin than go to confession to that man, because it did not feel healing, as confession with my current RC pastor does. Luckily, I never received any severe penances, although I’ve heard stories about Orthodox receiving them from their confessors. Does this not just seem a bit over the top, if not crazy? One event sticks out in my mind–my Orthodox spiritual father actually got mad at me because I didn’t “get over” my grandma’s death as soon as he felt I should. I confessed some six months after the fact to still being sad, etc., and HE GOT ANGRY AT ME. Needless to say, he’s probably the main reason I’m no longer Orthodox. I miss the liturgy, I miss the spirituality, and the chants, and the smells. I don’t miss feeling like a prisoner to a spiritual director. (I chose him before even meeting him in person, because he was the local GO pastor’s friend and sounded nice when I said hi to him over the phone…) If this is the same in Eastern Catholicism, as much as I’d love to be an Eastern Catholic as opposed to a RC, I may have to pass. (There is no EC parish near me, anyway, so Latin it is.)

Can anyone shed light on the role of the spiritual father in Byzantine/Eastern Christianity? Is what happened to me the norm (for a layperson, not a monk) or did I just choose a crazy priest as a guide?

Is having a spiritual father a must for all Orthodox/BC’s? (I was led to understand yes.) How does this role differ from that of a spiritual director for a RC (and I get that a RC might have a Byzantine or Maronite spiritual guide, or any combo thereof). Really, is a spiritual director necessary for a Byzantine layperson? Isn’t that why we have parish priests? Thanks for any responses. Christos anesti!
 
ByzantineHeart said:
Oh my, I had a long thread typed out and lost it in a wifi crash… 😦 I’m going to try and be brief and precise as possible. Please note that I have no experience with Byzantine Catholicism, just Orthodoxy, and I can’t say whether the same applies for BC’s, but…

Is there a reason the spiritual father/director seems to hold so much more sway in the East than in the Catholic West? For example, the EO spiritual father I had needed to give me a blessing to say certain prayers and practice certain devotions. (I was crushed when he forbade me to say the rosary, and actually did it anyway, which he never knew.) I’ve read in certain monastic literature that the elder/staretz/geron is to be obeyed literally as God. Okay, well for monastics who choose to live that life, that makes sense. For laypersons though? I mean, previously as a Roman Catholic I had a lot of freedom in my devotional and spiritual life. My RC pastor may have made a few recommendations but always left the decisions to me. I never felt the need to have his “blessing” to say the Chaplet of St. Michael, or the Jesus Prayer, or to read Billy Graham books. My Orthodox spiritual father, by contrast, as already demonstrated, held a lot more sway over those things. I’m not sure if this is the norm or if I just happened to choose a very nasty/austere Orthodox priest to be my spiritual father, but I actually hated going to confession with him (and I was never to confess to any other priest, even my parish priest, without his blessing–whereas in RC, confession is confession and you can talk to any priest you want). He would literally yell at me during confession, he would be irate and furious over my seeming inability to overcome a certain sin. I almost would rather have died in mortal sin than go to confession to that man, because it did not feel healing, as confession with my current RC pastor does. Luckily, I never received any severe penances, although I’ve heard stories about Orthodox receiving them from their confessors. Does this not just seem a bit over the top, if not crazy? One event sticks out in my mind–my Orthodox spiritual father actually got mad at me because I didn’t “get over” my grandma’s death as soon as he felt I should. I confessed some six months after the fact to still being sad, etc., and HE GOT ANGRY AT ME. Needless to say, he’s probably the main reason I’m no longer Orthodox. I miss the liturgy, I miss the spirituality, and the chants, and the smells. I don’t miss feeling like a prisoner to a spiritual director. (I chose him before even meeting him in person, because he was the local GO pastor’s friend and sounded nice when I said hi to him over the phone…) If this is the same in Eastern Catholicism, as much as I’d love to be an Eastern Catholic as opposed to a RC, I may have to pass. (There is no EC parish near me, anyway, so Latin it is.)

Can anyone shed light on the role of the spiritual father in Byzantine/Eastern Christianity? Is what happened to me the norm (for a layperson, not a monk) or did I just choose a crazy priest as a guide?

Is having a spiritual father a must for all Orthodox/BC’s? (I was led to understand yes.) How does this role differ from that of a spiritual director for a RC (and I get that a RC might have a Byzantine or Maronite spiritual guide, or any combo thereof). Really, is a spiritual director necessary for a Byzantine layperson? Isn’t that why we have parish priests? Thanks for any responses. Christos anesti!
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If there is a priest with the characteristics of spiritual father (discernment, love, compassion, and teaching ability) then it is fortunate indeed for the faithful who can approach them, but also books are a source of spiritual guidance.
 
Hi ByzantineHeart!

First of all, what a horrible experience of “spiritual direction” for you to go through. Even in the Orthodox East, such forms of “spiritual direction” are held up as an example of a bad spiritual father, and the one who endures such “direction” is typically presented as a model of holiness.

It’s really difficult to answer all the questions that you have posed here in your post. First of all, you hit upon a key issue that I think is often misunderstood and dangerously misapplied when it comes to spiritual direction in the Christian East (in both the Orthodox and Catholic traditions). The problem is that folks read the monastic literature - such as the Philokalia - and they forget that it is monastic literature. What we so often forget is that the vocation of the monastic is different from the vocation of a lay person. And even within monasticism, the vocation of a hesychast/anchorite/hermit is different from the vocation of monastics that are called to live in community. When reading the writings of the Philokalia it is, more often than not, overlooked that when discussing the role of a spiritual elder the discussion is taking place within the context of monasticism, and in particular within the context of the vocation of a hesychast. It is generally ignored that the vocation of a hesychast - in the strict sense - is a unique and extraordinary (in the sense of “out of the ordinary”) vocation. Not everything that applies to a hesychast is equally applicable to other monastics, nor is it equally applicable to lay folks and clergy living in the world.

Monastics in general, and hesychasts in particular, need a more intense form of spiritual direction because of the unique qualities of their vocations. Lay people living in the world generally have many forms of “checks and balances” when it comes to their spiritual life. We have our friends and family to help us gauge our progress, and we have the benefit of our pastors and parishes at large in which to examine ourselves. For example, I can gauge the health of my spiritual life simply by asking my wife in one way or another how well I am living my vocation to marriage. I can also gauge my spiritual state by being attentive to my conversations and interactions with friends and family. My confessor knows me well enough to know my faults and struggles, and to provide guidance in areas that I may not see. Hesychasts do not generally have these checks and balances because they live in solitude. They need a more intense form of spiritual direction from an experienced elder in order to make sure they stay on the right path.

Sadly, it seems the majority of folks tend not to see this when they read about the role of the spiritual father in the Christian East. The result is then a misapplication of the tradition in the world outside the monastery. Those of us living in the world are not monks, nuns, or hesychasts in the strict sense. We have our own unique vocations with their own unique issues that must be addressed on their own unique terms. The problem we in the East face is delving deeply into our tradition in order to discover forms of spiritual direction that are at one and the same time true to our tradition and applicable to the unique circumstances of lay people and parish priests living in the world.

I hope that provides somewhat of an answer for you. This being said, the Byzantine Catholic East has the same tradition of spiritual direction as the Orthodox East. This means that oftentimes they struggle from the same misunderstanding and misapplication of the tradition of spiritual direction.

There are many traditions of spiritual direction within Roman Catholicism. Various orders take different approaches. For example, a Carmelite approach is much different from a Jesuit approach, which is also much different from a Dominican approach. And all of these approach may be different from the approach that a pastor will take in directing the people in his parish.

A final note, not all priests, monks or nuns have the gift of being a spiritual elder by virtue of their ordination or monastic vows. Nor are all lay people denied the gift of being a spiritual elder because of their lack of ordination or monastic vows. The Spirit blows where it will. The search for a good spiritual elder - whether priest, monastic, or layperson - is often difficult, but when one finds such an elder one discovers that it was worth the pain and difficulty.
 
Thank you much for that. So in other words, every BC should have a spiritual guide, who may or may not be the parish priest. That’s what I’m getting. I actually left the EOC and took a hiatus from Christianity period. When my heart said I needed to come back to Christ, it was a question of Orthodoxy or Catholicism. I talked to an Antiochian priest who said I’d need a bishop to “release” me from that spiritual father. An Orthodox priests daughter I’m friends with thought that was crazy–she said it is our choice, and that includes the freedom to choose a different confessor/elder/guide.

I examined my heart and chose Catholicism. I believe Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy and Oriental Orthodoxy all are manifestations of the Ancient Church. But I was fed up with the muscle flexing contests between jurisdictions in EO. Having a pope to unite us makes sense. But that’s off the subject. Peace.
 
ByzantineHeart said:
Thank you much for that. So in other words, every BC should have a spiritual guide, who may or may not be the parish priest. That’s what I’m getting. I actually left the EOC and took a hiatus from Christianity period. When my heart said I needed to come back to Christ, it was a question of Orthodoxy or Catholicism. I talked to an Antiochian priest who said I’d need a bishop to “release” me from that spiritual father. An Orthodox priests daughter I’m friends with thought that was crazy–she said it is our choice, and that includes the freedom to choose a different confessor/elder/guide.

I examined my heart and chose Catholicism. I believe Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy and Oriental Orthodoxy all are manifestations of the Ancient Church. But I was fed up with the muscle flexing contests between jurisdictions in EO. Having a pope to unite us makes sense. But that’s off the subject. Peace.
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I wouldn’t say that every Byzantine Catholic (or every Eastern Orthodox for that matter) should have a spiritual guide. The only folks for whom a spiritual guide is practically essential - although not indispensable - according to the Fathers are hesychasts; i.e. those whose unique vocation within monasticism is the life of hesychasm. It is often admitted in the writings of the Fathers, however, that such a guide is often difficult to find. The essential “guide” in situations like this is the virtue of humility (you can check on this in the writings of Sts. Theophan the Recluse, Ignatius Brianchaninov, Isaac the Syrian, Hesychius of Jerusalem, and Gregory of Sinai).

For lay folks, it is good if we can find such a spiritual guide, but if we can’t then it’s really no big deal. As I mentioned above, we have our checks and balances in the relationships we maintain with our family, our friends, our parish, etc. The Church is a community, and we can call upon that community to offer guidance when necessary. I should mention also that Mother Church herself gives us guidance if we are attentive to the rhythms of prayer, fasting, feasting, etc. that are built into her liturgical life. Also, a careful and discerning reading of the writings of the Fathers is very helpful as well; though one must be careful to read their writings with an discerning eye towards what can apply to one’s own vocation, and what is applicable only to those living a monastic vocation.

I’ve never heard from anyone that one needs the bishop to release one from one’s spiritual guide. That sounds a little over the top to me.
 
Phillip_Rolfes said:
I wouldn’t say that every Byzantine Catholic (or every Eastern Orthodox for that matter) should have a spiritual guide. The only folks for whom a spiritual guide is practically essential - although not indispensable - according to the Fathers are hesychasts; i.e. those whose unique vocation within monasticism is the life of hesychasm. It is often admitted in the writings of the Fathers, however, that such a guide is often difficult to find. The essential “guide” in situations like this is the virtue of humility (you can check on this in the writings of Sts. Theophan the Recluse, Ignatius Brianchaninov, Isaac the Syrian, Hesychius of Jerusalem, and Gregory of Sinai).

For lay folks, it is good if we can find such a spiritual guide, but if we can’t then it’s really no big deal. As I mentioned above, we have our checks and balances in the relationships we maintain with our family, our friends, our parish, etc. The Church is a community, and we can call upon that community to offer guidance when necessary. I should mention also that Mother Church herself gives us guidance if we are attentive to the rhythms of prayer, fasting, feasting, etc. that are built into her liturgical life. Also, a careful and discerning reading of the writings of the Fathers is very helpful as well; though one must be careful to read their writings with an discerning eye towards what can apply to one’s own vocation, and what is applicable only to those living a monastic vocation.

I’ve never heard from anyone that one needs the bishop to release one from one’s spiritual guide. That sounds a little over the top to me.
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Plus, there are ones godparents/sponsors.

Perhaps one day the opportunity will arise for me to be part of a BC community and look into changing rites. Although I’m thrilled to be able to say the rosary again and to have statues and sacred heart pictures, I’m still very Eastern in my spiritual temperament. I continue to cross myself right to left and pray to Orthodox saints, my favorite perhaps being Mother Maria of Paris, whose icon I treasure in my prayer corner.

A very sweet Orthodox priest told me a few years ago that he saw no problem with the rosary, as long as one omitted the Fatima Prayer (which I still do) and meditating on mysteries.
 
ByzantineHeart said:
Plus, there are ones godparents/sponsors.

Perhaps one day the opportunity will arise for me to be part of a BC community and look into changing rites. Although I’m thrilled to be able to say the rosary again and to have statues and sacred heart pictures, I’m still very Eastern in my spiritual temperament. I continue to cross myself right to left and pray to Orthodox saints, my favorite perhaps being Mother Maria of Paris, whose icon I treasure in my prayer corner.

A very sweet Orthodox priest told me a few years ago that he saw no problem with the rosary, as long as one omitted the Fatima Prayer (which I still do) and meditating on mysteries.
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just an honest question: is there anything in the Fatima prayer that is contrary to Eastern spirituality?
 
choliks said:
just an honest question: is there anything in the Fatima prayer that is contrary to Eastern spirituality?
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The fact that the prayer derives from a non-Orthodox apparition instructing an Orthodox country to be consecrated to the Immaculate Heart might be the sore point. Orthodox (and apparently some Catholics too if you’ve ever read The Fatima Crusader magazine) interpret this as attemptibg to convert Russia to Catholicism.
 
ByzantineHeart said:
The fact that the prayer derives from a non-Orthodox apparition instructing an Orthodox country to be consecrated to the Immaculate Heart might be the sore point. Orthodox (and apparently some Catholics too if you’ve ever read The Fatima Crusader magazine) interpret this as attemptibg to convert Russia to Catholicism.
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That may be so, but is that the message and intention of the prayer? I can’t imagine a person’s spiritual life being weighed down by politics between Churches.
 
ByzantineHeart said:
Plus, there are ones godparents/sponsors.

Perhaps one day the opportunity will arise for me to be part of a BC community and look into changing rites. Although I’m thrilled to be able to say the rosary again and to have statues and sacred heart pictures, I’m still very Eastern in my spiritual temperament. I continue to cross myself right to left and pray to Orthodox saints, my favorite perhaps being Mother Maria of Paris, whose icon I treasure in my prayer corner.

A very sweet Orthodox priest told me a few years ago that he saw no problem with the rosary, as long as one omitted the Fatima Prayer (which I still do) and meditating on mysteries.
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Did Fr. not approve of the words “fires of hell” in the Fatima Prayer? See Mathew 13:42 (interlinear):

and will throw them into the furnace of fire; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. (Matthew 13:42)

kai balousin autouv eiv thn kaminon tou purov ekei estai o klauymov kai o brugmov twn odontwn (Matthew 13:42)
 
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