Thank you for the reply… I’m struggling to understand something in particular relating to this.
I am a convert from Orthodoxy… I see many reasons to believe in the Catholic Church and the Papacy. This websites explains them quite well…
catholicbridge.com/orthodox/index.php
Also I know our faith is not based on private revelations but there are miracles and revelations that directly support Catholic doctrines… Like Our Lady of Lourdes calling herself the Immaculate Conception and Our Lady of Good Success prophesying about the dogmas of Papal Infallibility and the Immaculate Conception. Also there are other miracles in support of Purgatory and prophesies from Blesseds about a future Pope and the reunion of the East and West with the Pope etc…I know our faith is based on public revelation but I’m saying this because of something I’ll bring up next…
I read about an Orthodox Saint Procopius of Ustiug. His life was written later but he is said to have died in the early 1300s, right at the beginning. Apparently the manuscripts from the 16th century say this but they also mention the 12th and the 15th centuries and its unclear. But in one source, I read he came to Novgorod from maybe Germany around 1240.
He was Latin rite Catholic and a merchant. He loved the Eastern liturgy and joined the Eastern church. He became a “fool for Christ” and a miracle worker. There are many miracles described during and after his life.
When I read this I became scared that I was mistaken about the Church… Yet what about all support I just described for the Catholic Church? The issue is that from a Catholic perspective, going from Catholic to Orthodox is seen as going into Schism… And it seems he became so holy.
One idea I was thinking is that apparently a Latin psalter was found with him when he died and apparently he prayed it throughout his life. Apparently they later found it was arranged according to Roman tradition. I thought maybe the Schism wasn’t really developed in Russia and Novgorod at the time he came there, and he never meant to be in schism, maybe he just wanted to be Eastern? (Which is different of course).
In one Orthodox source it said he was baptized Orthodox in Novgorod… But I don’t know if that’s accurate? If the schism wasn’t really developed there at the time, were the people there already against Rome? Was there a schism of belief even if not officially, or does it only matter what happened officially, and did that come later for Russia?
I generally struggle with scruples and fear and as I considered all this I was tempted to just give up altogether. There’s so much evidence for Catholicism yet I can’t fit in this account. I thought maybe I’m missing something? Does anyone have any advice?
I really hope this doesn’t cause anyone like me to doubt… I mean, there truly are many reasons to believe in Catholicism. (For example, one of the articles talks about how the East accepted divorce around 600 AD because of pressure from the Emperor, but the Pope was against it and the Church has always been against divorce. But the Orthodox allow it).
Maybe the fact that Procopius of Ustiug kept praying the Latin psalter points to something… Maybe for him it wasn’t about a schism. But I’m wondering if anyone has any thoughts or.more historical information because the uncertainty in all this is causing a struggle for me… Thank you