The Story of Saint Maria Goretti, Girl Savagely Murdered, Whose Feast Day in 2020 Is Monday, July 6

[mdgspencer]

Maria Goretti was young girl. When she resisted a fellow farm worker as he tried to rape her, he savagely hacked her many times with a knife. She died the next day, forgiving him. After living years in a prison, her killer repented after she appeared to him in a dream, giving him lilies. Then, after being released from prison, he lived out his life as a gardener in a monastery, until he died.

To learn about her story, see guadalupeshrine.org/resources/sacred-art/painting-saint-maria-goretti

To better see this painting, see i1.wp.com/www.guadalupeshrine.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/St-Maria-Goretti.jpg

 

[Mythicalbio]

St. Maria Goretti, pray for our chastity!

 

[HomeschoolDad]

I’m sorry, not to nitpick, but July 6 is on a Monday (today) this year.

She is a wonderful saint and a heroic role model for youth, especially those struggling with chastity.

 

[mdgspencer]

Thanks for the correction.
The day was changed to Monday.

 

[Calliope]

I’ve got to say, being someone who was forced into incest when young, having her story told to us and having her statue in my school really messed with my mind.

The message we were given was that it was better to be dead than to have sexual contact outside of marriage, even if it was being forced on you. But most victims of sex abuse don’t have the choice. Their abuser isn’t interested in killing them. I felt responsible for what happened to me and that I was damned to hell because I hadn’t fought to the point where my perpetrators would kill me rather than rape me.

I mean basically we were told we would be better off dead than defiled.

 

[Victoria33]

There is a published author with reflections on the stations of the cross named Mary Pezzulo.

She has a blog called “Steel Magnificat” at Patheos.

She actually addresses a bit of that which you wrote @Calliope … I am sorry this happened to you. Anyway, I’m not linking to the blog itself, I’m not sure if it is all proper and I haven’t read much of her other essays but some might find this helpful, if I may say so. It’s a bit of a different perspective.

 

[Calliope]

Sadly, our nuns and teachers only pushed the idea that she was a saint because she fought to the point of death to keep her virginity.

Sometimes I would go all the way to the opposite end of the building to take the stairs where I didn’t have to pass her statue on the landing.

I’m in my 50’s now and have long since forgiven those who ill used me. They are hurting souls with their own issues, and I hope they found the healing they needed, as I have blessedly done.

She was not the only saint whose stories were oversimplified or strangely emphasized to suit the agendas of various adults both in and out of school.

Sadly, my experience of religion growing up was too often that of a bludgeon or the theology twisted and warped in order to keep me controlled and to explain away the bad behavior of others.

Glad to know that some folks go deeper and find the right sort of inspiration from the saints.

 

[Mythicalbio]

I am very vocal when people start insisting St Maria was canonized for choosing death over rape, so I understand where you are coming from with some of the ideas about her. But let me explain this: she was canonized for her holiness in forgiving her attacker.

Could it not be both? The Popes I believe have presented it as both:

Pius XII (at canonization homily, so this says something about why): “Maria Goretti resembled St. Agnes in her characteristic virtue of Fortitude. This virtue of Fortitude is at the same time the safeguard as well as the fruit of virginity. Our new beata was strong and wise and fully aware of her dignity. That is why she professed death before sin. She was not twelve years of age when she shed her blood as a martyr, nevertheless what foresight, what energy she showed when aware of danger! She was on the watch day and night to defend her chastity, making use of all the means at her disposal, persevering in prayer and entrusting the lily of her purity to the special protection of Mary, the Virgin of virgins. Let us admire the fortitude of the pure of heart. It is a mysterious strength far above the limits of human nature and even above ordinary Christian virtue.” “With splendid courage she surrendered herself to God and his grace and so gave her life to protect her virginity.”

John Paul 2: “She did not flee from the voice of the Holy Spirit, from the voice of her conscience. She rather chose death. Through the gift of fortitude the Holy Spirit helped her to 'judge”- and to choose with her young spirit. She chose death when there was no other way to defend her virginal purity. Maria Goretti’s blood, shed in a sacrifice of total fidelity to God, reminds us that we are also called to offer ourselves to the Father. We are called to fulfill the divine will in order to be found holy and pleasing in His sight. Our call to holiness, which is the vocation of every baptized person, is encouraged by the example of this young martyr."

And other like quotes from other Popes. It’s not like this idea came out of thin air, that this was part of it. Of course forgiveness might be the greater part, but it is not in opposition, as she clearly from her words cared deeply for Alessandros soul, more than he did.

 

[Mythicalbio]

I myself have not but I live around those who have been and have talked with them about their experiences at length for many hours over many years, since around 2008. Maybe the Popes are wrong here, it is possible that a limited amount of error can be present, but maybe that is not the inference they are making at all. It’s a weird situation all around. Although I have difficulty seeing what else they could mean. Maybe understanding of survivors has advanced.

I have reread, yes it is hurtful. I guess emphasizing the forgiveness going forward and changing the collect might be the best thing going forward. The collect (Readings for the Memorial of Saint Maria Goretti) associates the obeying of commands with her virginal status. Since the Church reserves the right to regulate discipline and liturgy for the benefit of its members, I think it might be best if that was changed, since survivors have disobeyed no command.

 

[Sarcelle]

First of all I am sorry this has happened to you.

Second, even nuns can be very wrong. No one can commit sin against their will, so rape and incest victims did not commit any sin.

It is the sin of the rapist alone.

 

[Lea101]

And other like quotes from other Popes. It’s not like this idea came out of thin air, that this was part of it. Of course forgiveness might be the greater part, but it is not in opposition, as she clearly from her words cared deeply for Alessandros soul, more than he did.

What I don’t get is that the Church claims rape victims are still virgins. If that’s the case, why the talk about protecting one’s chastity/purity?

Why even ‘protect’ one’s virginity in this situation when clearly there’s no fault on the victim at all?

It seems to confirm my suspicion that the Church looked down on rape because of the view that it destroys purity in women/the sin of premarital sex, rather than focusing on the violence and trauma the victim goes through.

 

[Mythicalbio]

As far as I know throughout Church history we have had many competing definitions of virginity, and it is hard sometimes to tell which one is being used.

On one.level is.physical virginity, a very physical “hasn’t been touched or modified” genital area (sorry for.crudity), then another is more moral “hasn’t consented to or sought any sexual acts in life” then there is a more honorific one from ancient times, where even non-virgins could be called that. The Church teaches Mary was an eternal virgin, ante partum, in partu, and post partum. A theologian said that in partu (in the act of giving birth) hasn’t been exactly defined yet, since the Church has not said if virginity is destroyed by having a child in a natural way. We see that it has been very popular throughout our history to hold that Jesus was born in a miraculous way, not in the normal way, in a preservation of Mary’s physical virginity, but it is not a dogma.

Overall it’s just complicated and weird with all of these definitions and ideas going around. It would be nice if in the next council the bishops and Pope cleared up this mess. I hope virginity isn’t something as base as physical, and is more like “I willingly gave my whole life to God.” St. Thomas and others hold that rape survivors remain virgins, so I think it will be defined that way.

 

[Neithan]

Sad to see that this saint and her heroic legacy has been a source of pain for some people. She is a martyr because she was killed out of hatred for her faith. Her purity and fortitude in the face of murderous lust is a terrific inspiration.

A survivor of rape can retain the virtue of virginity, despite the physical loss of it, which is only an outward sign (only for women) and does not affect the purity of the person (St. Thomas called it “accidental” to the integrity of the virtue). St. Maria Goretti’s heroic charity was her concern for the attacker, rather than her own well-being. She would have remained a virgin if Alessandro Serenelli had not murdered her; but he was already committing a grave evil and mortal sin of rape.

 

[Calliope]

viewed her “love of chastity” as being for herself, instead of acknowledging that this young lady was far advanced in her spirituality and her love of chastity was for the soul of Alessandro, because Maria herself knew she was not committing a sin if she was forced against her will into sex. Her great concern for others in her family and extended household tells us that.

This still puts the onus on the victim. So if she isn’t a saint because she died to protect her virginity (which is what I was taught during 12 years of Catholic school) then she was a saint for trying to protect the virginity or chastity of her attacker. So now I’m guilty of not loving the people who forced themselves on me (mostly family members) enough to die for the sake of their souls? I was partially guilty for what they did because if I had died they wouldn’t have been able to rape me.

And if that wasn’t enough, I was later told that I was lucky that these things happened to me because now I could join in the suffering of Christ and offer my suffering up for the souls of the sort of people who harmed me.

That’s some pretty advanced spirituality that ultimately does fit Catholic theology, but it’s a messed up thing to say to a child who has been sexually abused through no fault of their own. Maybe at the age of 12 Maria was advanced enough to do all that, but I was not. All I knew was that I was damaged goods in the eyes of God and all the people around me, and a miserable failure because I had not fought to the point of death.

This led to me carving crosses into my skin to punish myself and various suicide attempts to make up for my failure to protect chastity. I was punished for those things too. Rose of Lima was another saint held up to us young girls, yet when I thought I was following the lesson of Rose in defacing her beauty (I figured if I was ugly and gross no one would want to have sex with me) I was punished for that as well. Told I was a drama queen trying to call attention to myself etc etc.

I have no way of knowing what the idea was behind naming these people as saints, but their stories were used in some very weird and twisted ways to scare and shame us into and out of certain behaviors and make us fear for our souls and sink into self hatred.

It took many years of therapy and finding a spiritual path that doesn’t glorify some very strange behavior in order for me to move on and have a good life.

 

[Calliope]

A survivor of rape can retain the virtue of virginity, despite the physical loss of it, which is only an outward sign (only for women) and does not affect the purity of the person (St. Thomas called it “accidental” to the integrity of the virtue).

Sadly this information didn’t filter down to me at the time. I was aware that the Virgin Mary was a virgin before, during and after the birth of Christ and that physical virginity was so highly prized by the Church that God had made Christ be born miraculously to preserve Mary’s physical virginity. That’s how important it was, so clearly I was a waste, defiled and ruined.

Then I was told that I was lucky because I could share in the suffering of Christ, but also that I would go to hell if I used my own body for pleasure, even though it was somehow good for me that others had abused me, so I could maybe pray some souls out of purgatory.

I think that mental mind twist was the breaking point. Be glad I had been sexually used, so I could pray a soul out of purgatory, but I had better not even think of doing anything sexual or I would burn in hell…plus that little issue of not having protected my family by somehow keeping them from sexually abusing me.

There was never concern or protection for me, only use of Church teachings to shame and control me and protect those who abused me, and in the end, I was somehow always at fault and in danger of going to hell.

I didn’t meant to open this big can of worms here in a thread meant to honor a saint, but maybe others reading this sadly went through something like I did and some serious damage was made to their spiritual growth. I’m sure it’s the last thing that St. Maria or St. Rose would have wanted.

 

[Calliope]

At this point, I will bow out of the conversation, since I’m afraid I’m doing more damage than good to those who have already suffered enough.

I don’t feel you have done any damage at all. I think this is an important conversation to have. Over the course of my life I have met others who have had Maria’s story used in a way that was painful and damaging to them, and talking about it openly allows for all the voices and sides to be looked at and addressed. I think it’s an opportunity for healing and understanding.

I’ve been able to move past it over the course of my life, but there may be people out there still hurting and maybe reading this discussion will help them, or help them understand the situation of a loved one.

You’ve been nothing but kind and thoughtful.

 

[Neithan]

Sadly this information didn’t filter down to me at the time. I was aware that the Virgin Mary was a virgin before, during and after the birth of Christ and that physical virginity was so highly prized by the Church that God had made Christ be born miraculously to preserve Mary’s physical virginity. That’s how important it was, so clearly I was a waste, defiled and ruined.

The church does teach and celebrate that Mary’s virginity was perfectly intact, physically and spiritually, at every point of her life. That perfection in outward sign and inward virtue is “important” to appreciate the miracle of grace that she is.

A victim of rape is defiled, physically, but that shouldn’t be imputed to her as any loss of virtue that affects her purity. That’s a tragic misunderstanding. Sorry but I don’t understand why you were taught the way that you were. [I didn’t grow up Catholic but learned the faith in my late teens/early 20s.] It kind of reminds me of that movie The Magdalene Sisters.

There seem to have been inklings of truth in what you were taught — rape is a physical defilement, there can be redemptive value in suffering, we are all sinners in need of salvation. It was presented to you in a confusing way with other ideas that created more trauma. The notion of failing to protect the purity and chastity of the assailant seems really confused, since at that point they’re already gravely sinning against purity and chastity.

I didn’t meant to open this big can of worms here in a thread meant to honor a saint, but maybe others reading this sadly went through something like I did and some serious damage was made to their spiritual growth. I’m sure it’s the last thing that St. Maria or St. Rose would have wanted.

You did mean to open a discussion, clearly, but that’s OK. It’s an important one, and important to help people appreciate the true teachings of the church and the saints. Thank you.

 

[Lea101]

I hope virginity isn’t something as base as physical,

It shouldn’t be tbh. Maybe back when people thought virginity was physical and they demanded bloody sheets on wedding nights to prove it “or else”.

Now we know that women can easily lose it, are even born without it, or it doesn’t tear during sex because of the shape. Additionally, you wouldn’t usually bleed if he’s gentle enough.

The concept of physical virginity caused me grief as well, and it would be good if it was addressed. Although I think discussions about this have a tendency to be a bit ridiculous.