The topic of modesty and clothing

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Marco-polo22

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I was talking with a friend when the topic of modesty came in. He said that it wasn’t modest to wear anything that showed the shoulders and gave the overall opinion that women should dress femininely.
I am of the opinion that there is intent behind modesty and that yes there are some very immodest clothes but overall in today’s age there are more that walk the line. We talked about a couple outfits that I wear that I don’t believe to be immodest and I just wanted others opinions on it:
  • a sundress that has spaghetti straps. It falls down to my shins and is only tight in the waist. I wouldn’t wear this church or I would put a shirt underneath it if I did
    -workout bra and bottoms. I do heavy lifting and spin class. Most of the time I end up sweating through my shirts and they limit my mobility. As well my trainer (female) prefers it so she can see where my shoulders are moving because of an injury I have
    -tank top and short. It’s summer here and we have reached 30 degree weather. My shorts aren’t long shorts but they aren’t short shorts either. And my tank top does expose my bra at the sides but this isn’t a going out on the town outfit. This is a get things done at home and get as much vitamin d and possible outfit
    -jeans and a nice shirt. This one threw me for a loop because my friends says that I should be wearing skirts.t line of work does not bode well with skirts and jeans when paired with a nice top make it so I look professional and able able to do my line of work
So I believe that these outfits are not immodest but can walk the line. My intent with all of them is to look good and be able to perform the task that is necessary at that moment in time. These are never church going outfits. Maybe the jeans and my favourite blouse in the fall to keep the bugs away, and the sundress with a shirt underneath but that’s it. The others I hardly wear in public as it.
 
Marco-polo22 said:
I was talking with a friend when the topic of modesty came in.
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There are so many threads on modesty.
Marco-polo22 said:
He said that it wasn’t modest to wear anything that showed the shoulders and gave the overall opinion that women should dress femininely.
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This is, as you noted, an opinion. The Church doesn’t teach this. And “dress feminine” is just a vague statement that lacks any meaning.
Marco-polo22 said:
We talked about a couple outfits that I wear that I don’t believe to be immodest and I just wanted others opinions on it:
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You’ll never be happy if you need other people’s opinions about what you wear. Form your conscience with your local pastor and your parents.

Wear clothing appropriate to the activity you are doing.
 
If you are only wearing the tank top at home, the one that exposes your bra on the sides, then I see nothing wrong with it, as long as you don’t wear that in public.

I see nothing wrong with a sundress that has spaghetti straps (I’ve had those, myself), when it covers everything else and is shin length. In the summer when it gets very hot, that would be appropriate. Just be sure to wear sunscreen on your shoulders and arms.

The jeans and nice shirt, tucked in, with a belt if the jeans have loops, is fine to wear in public and even on the job, depending on the kind of job you have. If it’s a business office, probably not.

The purposes you are wearing these outfits for make them fine – for those purposes.

I agree that none of those should be worn to church.

BTW, you mentioned temperatures in your area reading 30 degrees. I assume you are referring to celcius, or centigrade. Thirty degrees fahrenheit would be below freezing. Where do you live?
 
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Marco-polo22 said:
We talked about a couple outfits that I wear that I don’t believe to be immodest and I just wanted others opinions on it:
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My opinion is that you should tell your “friend” to mind his own business and continue to choose your own appropriate clothing. If you’re not sure if something is modest, ask your priest or parents or a trusted adult.

Also consider finding some new friends.
 
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Your friend is welcome to think what he wants, as are you. If you asked him for his thoughts, he is welcome to share them, even if you disagree. If you did not, it isn’t his place to offer.

I can’t begrudge people’s opinions if we are discussing what they think, but can do so if they decide to take it upon themselves. I see this a lot in the education realm - public versus private versus homeschool, and in the realm of having more children; we have 5 and are considering a 6th. People can’t seem to help themselves sometimes.
 
OP, I think your friend is looking for a way to blame his own lack of control over his sexuality on someone else. HE isn’t having lustful thoughts because he’s weak and unwilling to bring allow the Holy Spirit to help him bring his thoughts under control–oh, no! He’s having lustful thoughts because those naughty naughty women are wearing shameless clothing and forcing him to look at them and keep looking at them until…well, it’s all their fault!

He needs to learn to control his desires and not blame them on “immodest women.”
 
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Peeps said:
I think your friend is looking for a way to blame his own lack of control over his sexuality on someone else.
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The vast majority of young men I knew backintheday who wanted to lecture young women about their clothing fell in this category.

There were also a few who were jealous/ controlling/ abusive and wanted to control their girlfriend’s clothing choices and berate her if she looked “too good” in her clothes and accuse her of wanting to attract other men.

Having said that, someone made a good point that if OP asked her friend directly for his opinion, and he gave it in response to the query, then he might have been simply stating his honest thoughts and preferences. But if he volunteered his thoughts or acted disapproving until OP finally asked him what was up, then that’s not a good sign.
 
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