Hi JM,
I’m so sorry you’ve entered the church in a parish with a priest who may not understand the importance of loving the sinner but not the sin. To truly love another, we need at times to speak the truth in charity. This means not confusing things by accepting that which is sin as though it weren’t, and certainly their living situation is scandalous and should continue to be treated as such. To fail to do so creates confusion in the minds of others.
I will pray for your priest, as he has much to answer for on the day of judgement if he fails to properly shephard his flock. Regardless of what you choose to do, I hope that you keep him central in your prayers, along with the two gentleman who are so flagrant in their disregard for church teachings. I assume you’re already aware that sin confuses our moral compass and these two are so engrossed in their ways that I don’t think they are even aware of the state of their souls. We need to all pray for them that they come to understand their need for repentance and to amend their lives.
Perhaps you could start a prayer chain with a few other faithful parishoners for these men, praying that they amend their lives and give glory to God through their acceptance of the difficult teachings of the church in matters of sexuality. Then, each time you see one of them and begin to feel your blood boiling in your veins, say a Hail Mary (do you have the basic prayers memorized yet?) and an Our Father for them. Pray also that the Holy Spirit use you as a vessel of Grace, so that every word you speak in their presence might be as though spoken by Christ himself. You want to remember that Christ loves the sinner, and so should you, even as you are repulsed by the sin. Turn each time you see them and begin to get agitated into an opportunity to pray in reparation for their sins and the sins of the whole world.
Let the beginnings of the power of evil which is working in your anger be the trigger to set you into prayer, placing God’s love above all else. When an inappropriate joke or comment is made, immediately pray for the wisdom to respond according to the will of the Holy Spirit. This may mean simply keeping your mouth shut as a calm smile crosses your face, rather than the raucous laugh they may seek to elicit from those around them. Be cautious that you do not become their judge, as only God has the right to judge them. It is possible, that through much prayer, their private life may change long before they are willing to acknowledge any change in their public behavior, so do not look for outward signs that your prayers have been effective. God doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes we need to pray without any outward sign that we have been heard.
Oh, and even if you change parishes, which I’m not certain I recommend, I imagine you’ll still have some contact with this parish, as your roommate will be working there. Has he started the position?
Well, take care of yourself. Know that many of us continue to keep you and yours in our prayers.
CARose
Hi, JM! I am sorry that things are still not going well for your situation. I have been praying…I had hoped that things were going to be better from now on.