Things I do wrong in apologetics

[cassman]

There are cetain topics that I am good at debating on.

However, none of that matters if my approach…sucks.
My wife tells me that a lot of people don’t catch my humor. Or that I am too sarcastic (is that possible ?) Sometimes, my wife tells me that I give out too much info at one time. For instance, if a protestant “brother” asks about say Priests’ celibacy, I start talking to him and don’t stop, not letting him have a reply. Pretty soon it has turned out to be my seminar!

So, my weak points are:
Saracasm
Humor
“Seminar-style”

What are yours?

 

[theMutant]

Sometimes it seems that anything and everything I do in apologetics is wrong. Oh well, I’ll just keep plugging away. Probably my biggest flaw is “opening the floodgates.” Like you, I sometimes give a waterfall of information to answer an otherwise simple question.

 

[Meggie]

tenacity is a quality…know what you believe and believe what you know, that can be the strongest witness to the Catholic faith

 

[MariaG]

Arrogance. I sometimes forget I am not the one revealing the truth to people, but the Holy Spirit is the one that is revealing the truth and should receive all the credit. All glory and honor is yours Lord. Forgive me when I try to take the credit.

 

[martino]

wow, this is a good exercise in humility! lets see…

1. arrogance
2. sarcasm
3. lack of charity
4. short fuse
5. anger issues :banghead:
6. lack of knowledge
7. over confidence
8. under estimate my “brother”
9. short attention span

 

[Mijoy2]

I have a basic question. When do you get an oppurtunity to exercise your apologetics. I simply never do. Well, of course i could walk around Boston yelling and carrying a Bible. But other then that the topic of religion simply never comes up in my life…unfortunately

 

[Little_Mary]

Mijoy2:

I have a basic question. When do you get an oppurtunity to exercise your apologetics. I simply never do. Well, of course i could walk around Boston yelling and carrying a Bible. But other then that the topic of religion simply never comes up in my life…unfortunately

I don’t get any opportunities either. Here’s another question: How do you bring it up, say , to a non-Catholic family member…how do you get the conversation going? Charitable, I mean.

 

[Peg]

The most common mistake I see is lack of charity. We should always speak the truth in LOVE.

 

[Fidelis]

Mijoy2:

I have a basic question. When do you get an oppurtunity to exercise your apologetics. I simply never do. Well, of course i could walk around Boston yelling and carrying a Bible. But other then that the topic of religion simply never comes up in my life…unfortunately

This is my situation as well! I study all these apologetics arguments until I’m loaded for bear, and then the opportunities rarely seem to come. When the subject does get broached – well, pity the poor fool who brings it up. The floodgates open and I’m sure they are sorry they ever asked a simple question.

I’d give anything get some of the questions and challenges that people on this forum report getting. Where do they find these people? People around me seem to want to avoid the subject at all costs. Sometimes I feel like a warrior without a war! :banghead:

 

[MariaG]

Little Mary,

How do you bring it up to family? Usually, I bring it up in a generic Jesus is love, non threatening kind of way. You can get into a good conversation just talking about the great things God is doing, challenges you are facing, etc. Frequently, these kinds of conversations turn into apologetics. This works with family or friends.

God Bless

 

[jaralenio]

Peg:

The most common mistake I see is lack of charity. We should always speak the truth in LOVE.

I agree with Peg, but along them lines is to show your Love for the Sacraments and your Love for the Church! Bottom line is they may not really care about the history or why we do what we do, they will see your faith, devotion and obedience through your Love for Jesus’ Church and then build from there. If they see your love for her then maybe just maybe they will listen. This is what works for me.

God Bless.

 

[copland]

I have been one for apologetics and defended the Southern Baptist faith. I found that it was absolutely frustrating at times because we all played by the same game book of sola scriptura, which is actually theological relativism and nothing is actually written in stone because if you were really good you can make the Bible say anything you want.

But as far as in defense of Catholicism I find it is much easier for the simple of fact that it is the faith of absolutism. The magestarium of the Church has done all the hard work throughout the years.

But my biggest fault is a lack of charisma, and also I love to prove my point with things that most people don’t even know about such as textual criticism, ancient manuscripts and manuscript evidence, archeology, what the Greek say’s, etc.

 

[dream_wanderer]

I haven’t had much of an opportunity yet to defend the faith but when I do I want a reputation. I want people to say "She is a Catholic but don’t try arguing the Bible with her! She knows her stuff and can defend everything she believes.’

I do hope to do it in love…with a good attitude and with a gracious heart.

That’s my goal.

dream wanderer

 

[JohnCarroll]

The Church Fathers. One of my Evangelical friends will bring up a subject --hoping to have a good conversation, I bring up the Fathers to answer him/her --my friend thanks me and never asks again.

This is like me talking to a Biologist, why would I bring up Evolution, I know what he thinks and i will look like a fool .

 

[martino]

Mijoy2:

I have a basic question. When do you get an oppurtunity to exercise your apologetics. I simply never do. Well, of course i could walk around Boston yelling and carrying a Bible. But other then that the topic of religion simply never comes up in my life…unfortunately

Well I live in the Southeastern “Bible Belt”, so I find many opportunities to defend the faith. Plus I talk about my faith in a general way which leads anyone that may be interested to ask me more specific questions about the faith. I find that many people have lots of questions that they would like to ask a Catholic but they just dont know any Catholics that enjoy talking about it. So I try to present myself as someone that they can feel free to ask whatever they want.

 

[JohnCarroll]

martino:

Well I live in the Southeastern “Bible Belt”, so I find many opportunities to defend the faith. Plus I talk about my faith in a general way which leads anyone that may be interested to ask me more specific questions about the faith. I find that many people have lots of questions that they would like to ask a Catholic but they just dont know any Catholics that enjoy talking about it. So I try to present myself as someone that they can feel free to ask whatever they want.

I live in Dallas. What you say is sooo true. Evangelicals think Catholics are barely Christian , not because of what Catholics believe but because they have NEVER talked to a catholic about what they believe.

 

[mercygate]

Under the right/wrong heading, I find that when “issues” come up, particularly from Fundamentalists, it is difficult to answer their questions because they are programmed to expect that you don’t have an answer. I use one-liners:

“Where do Evangelicals get the idea that Catholics don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?”

“I think it’s incredible when ex-Catholics say they never heard the Gospel in the Catholic Church. What were they doing during Mass?”

“The saints are more alive than we are; we ask them to pray for us the same way I would ask you to pray for me.”

“Protestants don’t have a problem with Elijah being taken up in a fiery chariot. Why do they have so much trouble with the Assumption of Mary?”

“Did you know that Luther, Calvin, Zwingli, and Cranmer believed for all of their lives in the Immaculate Conception, the perpetual virginity, and the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary?”

“I became a Catholic because the Catholic Church is more serious about Scripture than any Protestant denomination.”

You get the idea. A dart game. If they want to take it further, they’ll let you know. Generally, they are so shocked that you have any position at all that they’ll back off. Which is not the idea but if they’re really not open, at least you’ve dropped a pebble in the pond, so to speak.

 

[ShamHy89]

I often become too beligerent when dealing with apologetics. Sharing the truth with a Christian love and charity frequently becomes an issue.

Also, my limited knowledge/experience leads to problems as I get intimidated by those who have dealt with this field for so long. I usually only debate with non-Catholics in an online atmosphere, so the amount of information copied and pasted from other arguments and/or sources can be overwhelming at times. Otherwise, I am just beginning in defending the faith, so I expect to learn a great deal and be more eloquent and charitable in apologetics in time.

Shamus

 

[Newvert]

Martino’s list above could be mine- exactly. I am far from a master apologist, but I have found certain things to be helpful.

First, it is best to mention what you do in regards to the faith and how it improves you. Then let the questioners come to you and, as said above, remember CHARITY.

I get a lot of apologetics mileage out of Eucharistic Adoration. I go on Wednesdays. If making plans to meet a friend, I say something like,

“Well, Wednesday’s out, gotta go to church.”
“Church on Wednesday?,” comes the reply, “What for?”

At that point you have to avoid saying “Well, let me tell you” and then launching into a four hour dialogue (err, monologue) about the Real Presence. A short definition, plus a personal testimony will do- “Well drawing on Scripture, the Church believes firmly in Transubstantiaton. When I’m in the presence of the Eucharist, I always feel great calm. In fact, I very much look forward to it.” If this generates more questions, fine. If not, drop it and wait for questions at a later date.

Fact is, if you become known in your circle of friends and family as a “serious” Catholic, the questions will come, and the people asking might surprise you. It could be the intellectual atheist, the free-spirited Buddhist, even the formerly mocking anti-Catholic. They will usually start when they have you alone, you might notice a change from their regular tone, that is, suddenly they lose their oppostional posture. Pray first, answer only those questions which are asked of you, then pray again.

 

[loyola_rambler]

If I can be so bold as to make some observations after a week or so on this site.

First, people really like be confrontational apologists. Big mistake. If the person you’re talking to is legitimately just asking you a question, then give them a simple answer. Be a good communicator by being a good listener. Find out what their needs are and speak on a level that makes it an open exchange of ideas and shows that you understand how they feel and how you’ve been able to deal with the same questions.

Like a good many people, I’m not here to debate anyone and I’m turned off by anyone who thinks getting in my face is going to change my mind about anything. I have 4 advanced degrees and can out document most all of you. But that’s not what I get out of discussing religion with people. Realize that some people won’t respond to a hard line, but respond very well to a soft touch.

Don’t try to do everything all at once. There’s so much information that can be given on something, but most people really appreciate the cliff notes. An example? I was doing some research with a group of federal employees at Cook Co jail a couple of years ago. A devout “born again” gentleman was all upset about Catholicism and I asked him why. He said this, then said that. So I asked him what bothered him most and he said it was the unbiblical things like confession. Imagine his surprise when I quoted chapter and verse where Jesus left that charge to his apostles. He looked at me, shook my hand and told me how wonderful to finally get that put to rest. We spent the rest of the day during our breaks with him asking questions and me giving simple answers. The less I put forward at the outset, the more questions he asked. It’s a very nice technique that will keep you from opening the floodgates.

Be a teacher, not a preacher. Remember how many years it took you to learn everything. Take the time and have the patience to teach others at the same pace. Talk with them, not to them. And most of all, be nice when you do it.

Peg said it best, though. Have charity in your words and your tone. Until you get to know someone, you won’t know why they struggle with their faith or what their hot buttons are. Take the time to get to know them and ask questions that get them to open up. Put another way…make your *passion *into an outward Christian witness with compassion.