S
SteveLy
Guest
I decided to write this due to another thread where a person had a problem with a priest at a parish during the funeral planning for his father’s funeral. Having spent the last decade in geriatric healthcare I thought I would pass on some bits of wisdom. Because some aspect pertains to Sacraments and Funerals I put it here.
There are 6 areas people need to deal with. Funeral planning, financial/healthcare considerations, legal planning, downsizing, insurance and family dynamics.
Funeral planning: First, speak to your priest. Not only can he give you options for hymns and readings (parishes often have a form), he will let you know which funeral homes do a good job and which to stay away from.
Nobody wants to plan the funeral because in addition to facing one’s death, “they are so expensive”. Like anything, buying before needed and comparison shopping can bring the price down dramatically. Even if you don’t want to pick specifics, it is a good idea to purchase a funeral plan (called a trust) which is Medicaid compliant.(you’ll see why later).
Legal: Get a Will, Financial and Medical Power’s of Attorney made (also a medical “living will” if not included in the Medical Power of Attorney). Legalzoom will do all 3, specific to your state, for $150.00 and you can get them notarized locally if needed. In addition, DISCUSS THESE WITH YOUR FAMILY. Anyone who has worked in long term care will tell you how much grief this will save your loved one’s.
If you die without a Will, an attorney will be needed to settle your estate for @$300 per hour.
Insurance: If you have life insurance keep it. If you need to go into a facility and your policy is whole life, CASH IT IN before letting it lapse for non-payment if the nursing home is taking the entire income.
If you have long term care insurance keep it as well. The industry is going through some changes, but an insurance broker can give you options.
Finally, MEDICARE DOES NOT PAY FOR NURSING HOME CARE, so plan to save your resources before needed.
Financial: 65% of people will need long term care either in their home or a facility. Most people wind up having Medicaid pay for your nursing care if needed. Nursing homes cost $8000-$11,000 per month. Medicaid does not pay until you have spent your own money down to between $2300 & $8000 dollars. Funeral trusts are excempt from the Medicaid “spend down” as it is called, but need to be set up while the money is still available.
Prior to 60 months (5 years) out from applying for Medicaid, you can place extra finances / assets into a family trust which will allow them to go to your family. With 60 months, a spouse remaining in the community can still save a lot of the money with special financial vehicles. Speak to an ELDERCARE Attorney, not just a regular attorney. They will give you specifics.
Downsizing: Having to deal with the 30-50 years of accumulated belongings is overwhelming to most people, particularly when the love of their life is not there to help them. This is an emotional / grieving journey as much as the physical implications of moving, selling or disposing of personal belongings. Senior movers are specialists in helping people through the journey.
Family dynamics: First, as your loved one is declining, GET THEM ANOINTED early. This will allow the priest to stop at a convenient time instead of trying to track one down at 11:00 on a Saturday night. Your loved one “won’t think they are dying”. Just explain anointing is for health and strength. Your priest will appreciate it (trust me!).
Second, every family has dynamics, or dysfunction, yours is not alone.
For the child who has been estranged for 20 years. Coming in and telling people what to do or trying to “take charge” is not helpful. You will just make your siblings mad and upset your parent. Read the Living Will your mother left and those are her wishes. If you want to feel better, ask and offer forgiveness to your mother / father. Both of your soul’s will appreciate it.
98% of those reading this will not take action until there is a crisis. Usually this is a hospital stay and the discharge planner says you have 48 hours to decide where you are going if you can’t go home. Different companies will make sure you are taken care of, but it often takes some of the money saving options away from you.
I deal with this on a daily basis and thought it would be helpful for others to know.
God bless.
There are 6 areas people need to deal with. Funeral planning, financial/healthcare considerations, legal planning, downsizing, insurance and family dynamics.
Funeral planning: First, speak to your priest. Not only can he give you options for hymns and readings (parishes often have a form), he will let you know which funeral homes do a good job and which to stay away from.
Nobody wants to plan the funeral because in addition to facing one’s death, “they are so expensive”. Like anything, buying before needed and comparison shopping can bring the price down dramatically. Even if you don’t want to pick specifics, it is a good idea to purchase a funeral plan (called a trust) which is Medicaid compliant.(you’ll see why later).
Legal: Get a Will, Financial and Medical Power’s of Attorney made (also a medical “living will” if not included in the Medical Power of Attorney). Legalzoom will do all 3, specific to your state, for $150.00 and you can get them notarized locally if needed. In addition, DISCUSS THESE WITH YOUR FAMILY. Anyone who has worked in long term care will tell you how much grief this will save your loved one’s.
If you die without a Will, an attorney will be needed to settle your estate for @$300 per hour.
Insurance: If you have life insurance keep it. If you need to go into a facility and your policy is whole life, CASH IT IN before letting it lapse for non-payment if the nursing home is taking the entire income.
If you have long term care insurance keep it as well. The industry is going through some changes, but an insurance broker can give you options.
Finally, MEDICARE DOES NOT PAY FOR NURSING HOME CARE, so plan to save your resources before needed.
Financial: 65% of people will need long term care either in their home or a facility. Most people wind up having Medicaid pay for your nursing care if needed. Nursing homes cost $8000-$11,000 per month. Medicaid does not pay until you have spent your own money down to between $2300 & $8000 dollars. Funeral trusts are excempt from the Medicaid “spend down” as it is called, but need to be set up while the money is still available.
Prior to 60 months (5 years) out from applying for Medicaid, you can place extra finances / assets into a family trust which will allow them to go to your family. With 60 months, a spouse remaining in the community can still save a lot of the money with special financial vehicles. Speak to an ELDERCARE Attorney, not just a regular attorney. They will give you specifics.
Downsizing: Having to deal with the 30-50 years of accumulated belongings is overwhelming to most people, particularly when the love of their life is not there to help them. This is an emotional / grieving journey as much as the physical implications of moving, selling or disposing of personal belongings. Senior movers are specialists in helping people through the journey.
Family dynamics: First, as your loved one is declining, GET THEM ANOINTED early. This will allow the priest to stop at a convenient time instead of trying to track one down at 11:00 on a Saturday night. Your loved one “won’t think they are dying”. Just explain anointing is for health and strength. Your priest will appreciate it (trust me!).
Second, every family has dynamics, or dysfunction, yours is not alone.
For the child who has been estranged for 20 years. Coming in and telling people what to do or trying to “take charge” is not helpful. You will just make your siblings mad and upset your parent. Read the Living Will your mother left and those are her wishes. If you want to feel better, ask and offer forgiveness to your mother / father. Both of your soul’s will appreciate it.
98% of those reading this will not take action until there is a crisis. Usually this is a hospital stay and the discharge planner says you have 48 hours to decide where you are going if you can’t go home. Different companies will make sure you are taken care of, but it often takes some of the money saving options away from you.
I deal with this on a daily basis and thought it would be helpful for others to know.
God bless.
