I veiled for a while. I felt strong conviction that it was what was right to do. I am not at all the type of person who wants to stand out in a crowd- I really feel very sick to my stomach doing anything that gets noticed or where people’s attention is going to be on me, so veiling was almost excruciating for me to do. I did it anyway- call it fear of God I suppose. I didn’t want to fear people more than God and at that point in my life I feared hell and leading others the wrong way so I had to do it. I still believe veiling is right. (I just don’t go to church anymore)
Hopefully this won’t discourage you- I’m not saying this to discourage but to prepare- but what I encountered was a mix of things… Some people were surprised and seemed to be pleased. Some people don’t really care (in fact, most people I found didn’t, thankfully). Some people think you are crazy because they know nothing about veiling at all and think you are some sort of wedding-wanna-be freak woman. I had a couple children come up to me and ask why I was wearing a veil- they seemed to imply they thought it looked weird. I had one young gentleman make fun of me who sat behind me with his fiance. He thought I was a joke for wearing it and continuously said things about it under his breath. (Very painful day for me, that day) Another older man made fun of me by asking me where the wedding was. Some other older men at another parish I was visiting just laughed as though I was utterly ridiculous for wearing it. While visiting another church, I overhead two women- one a nun- pointing at me, talking about me saying “isn’t that sad?” (as in, she’s stuck in the past that is cruel and oppressive). I highly suspect because I was wearing a veil in a church where no one else was. It was a very ‘modern’ parish there. There was no question they were talking about me.
So be prepared… you are going to get looks, stares, made fun of, yet some people might be the opposite and know why and WHO you are doing it for and appreciate your conviction. I hate to say it though all this was part of my catalyst in leaving the church- it got too much of a battle where I just felt like I was with a bunch of people who didn’t know their faith and didn’t know the reasons the customs ect… or especially God’s WORD which mentioned women should be covered. I go to church to follow God. I just wanted to be in a church where others felt the same convictions and followed the tenants of the church as much as I wanted to. I felt like I was in the wrong church, and at some point, with all the people who were making fun of me… I felt like I was in the church of the enemy. So in that way, it might have become that I was acting “holier than thou” without even wanting to with all those feelings I just expressed because it almost becomes a battle to stick to the conviction of wearing it… does that make sense? This is just me though. You might find that by doing it you might not get so much attention, negative or positive.
One really cool thing that I noticed after I started to wear it was that several other women started to veil at my home parish. I think there were about 5 or 6 other women. So rest assured you aren’t the only one who wants to… its just that the pressure to conform is too hard for some to start. Having others join you in something cuts down the amount of embarrassment and the difficulty of doing something that might seem ‘odd’ or stupid to others.
I have this question though… If its so ‘holier than thou’ to do it, how is any mass wrong going to be righted when no one dares “tamper” with the status quo which may be in error? Just a thought. You won’t find me waving the “wear a veil” flag though- I think things are so messed up in the church that I wouldn’t hold it against any woman for choosing not to wear it. I’m just confused as ever…another reason why I left the church.
