This forum and kindness to each other

[TotusTuusForever]

I apologize in advance for getting on my soapbox here but I really feel like this needs to be said.

This forum has many great attributes, but I see a trend that is a little unsettling to me. Members of this site tend to think the least of each other instead of being merciful and loving towards each other. And, of course there are many exceptions to this statement but, there have been countless times people have become accusatory towards someone they disagree with instead of asking clarifying questions. One example: I was reading an archived thread about fasting and someone referred to the two small meals on Ash Wednesday as two snacks and several community member jumped on them and began chastising them as if they had committed some kind of horrid theological crime. And, I have witnessed this on recent threads as well which, if we are honest, makes Catholics look combative to others who are lurking here trying to learn about Catholicism.

I’ll be the first to say it is easy to get caught up in this unhealthy dialog. I’m sincerely sorry for the times Ive let myself become arrogant. I ask your forgiveness in that.

But, I’ve also realized something that can go unnoticed. In case people are unaware, people with mental health issues, learning disabilities and autism do not alway get social cues that people send through text, and sometimes can’t even fully understand the tone of their post. So, jumping down someone’s throat is very problematic when you don’t know the person on the other side and can’t decipher if they are in need of social accommodations, so to speak. Catholicism is very black and white in many instances and it can be easy to get riled up and prepare for battle but let’s all take a deep breath first and allow ourselves to calm down before throwing proverbial punches and taking each other’s words out of context.

This forum has been a blessing for so many of us and countless others we don’t even know of. I pray through the intercession of our Blessed Mother that we can all foster the spirit of charity and forgiveness so that this site can be a haven for people who have problems to solve instead of being another source of stress.

 

[Catfinger77]

I agree. Give people a little slack. Not everything is as black and white as some suppose. I’m afraid that some of the intolerance and judgementalism of the political boards has bled into this site.

 

[JanR]

I fully agree. And, I hope I haven’t been unkind. I respect the ideas and perspectives of those who see things differently than I do, and sometimes I’m just plain wrong about certain things. I think we can all present our various perspectives without being snarky or mean. I think the majority here try to be helpful. I hope I’ve been helpful. We’re all flawed human beings, and mistakes are inevitable. I’ve learned quite a lot here, and I know others have, and can.

I’m glad I found this forum. I do feel at home here.

 

[TotusTuusForever]

I think the social tension in the broader Church coupled with the social tension in American politics has a huge part in this.

But, even when there is a disagreement the challenge is on us as Christians to forgive. Most of us here go to confession regularly (at least I hope) and are truly sorrowful for our wrongdoings. So, it is illogical to hold offenses against someone whom (we have reasonable hope that) God has forgiven lest we hold ourselves up as gods.

(And of course, Disclaimer: obviously, we should apologize to those we have sinned against, and abusive material requires more action than simply forgiveness. But, we should still be charitable nonetheless.)