This is getting tough

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damooster

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When I first started RCIA, I was ecstatic. I liked the group of people in my class, my sponsor was great, and the parish was very welcoming.

The past few weeks, however, I started really doing intense research into what I was “getting myself into.” I’ve read the United States Catechism among other books, and with the help of websites like this one, I’ve become confident that I have an “idea” of what Catholicism is about. By no means am I even at a novice stage, but I do know what some key concepts are.

Anyways, I now realize that I am in a parish that I strongly disagree with. The parish prides itself on being very “liberal” and I happen to be on the conservative side. For example, one of the main reasons I became a Catholic was because I admired the Church holding it’s members to their individual actions. This parish seems to fail at it.

I could list all sorts of things that I do not like about the parish, but I don’t want to come across as stuck up or offensive. I will tell you that the final straw was today, when my sponsor told me that I needed to respect other people’s opinions when I told him I did not agree with our guest speaker advocating the ordination of women and recommending that we read books written by people who have been “silenced” by the Vatican. I don’t even want to go to Mass any more because I’m afraid to witness any more abuses i.e. the pastor’s dog sleeping under the altar. They purposely omitted the word “men” from the Nicene Creed, so when I go to recite it with everyone else, I get lost at that part. I have to attend Mass there every Sunday until baptism as we are going through the Scrutinies. Trust me; I try to be with God even though I do not appreciate the parish. That is my only strength to continue.

Anyways, I’m sorry I had to rant. I’m not really looking for sympathy. I just wanted to throw this out there in case anyone is going through this/has gone through this.

God bless.
 
Sorry no one has replied yet 😦

I encourage you to write to your local bishop about the issue. Make the letter short, but list all the liturgical abuses you notice, and include evidence (like a tape-recording). Don’t be emotional in the letter, just list what you note. Be polite too. And be patient after sending off the letter. He might have lots of letters to sort through. Send a follow up, though, if he dosen’t reply.
 
Eucharisted said:
Sorry no one has replied yet 😦
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Thanks, but it’s a Saturday night. I’m sure people are busy :).
I encourage you to write to your local bishop about the issue. Make the letter short, but list all the liturgical abuses you notice, and include evidence (like a tape-recording). Don’t be emotional in the letter, just list what you note. Be polite too. And be patient after sending off the letter. He might have lots of letters to sort through. Send a follow up, though, if he dosen’t reply.
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That’s the thing; I’m not really sure what constitutes an “abuse.” I know that there are certain things that I don’t like. I’m pretty sure the dog sleeping under the altar is an abuse. Is omitting the word “men” from the Creed an abuse? I just received a copy of the GIRM, so I guess I’ll read that so that I know what it is that should concern me. And I don’t want it to seem like I’m nitpicking or looking for something to complain about. I just don’t feel comfortable there.

Thanks for your response.
 
damooster said:
Thanks, but it’s a Saturday night. I’m sure people are busy :).

That’s the thing; I’m not really sure what constitutes an “abuse.” I know that there are certain things that I don’t like. I’m pretty sure the dog sleeping under the altar is an abuse. Is omitting the word “men” from the Creed an abuse? I just received a copy of the GIRM, so I guess I’ll read that so that I know what it is that should concern me. And I don’t want it to seem like I’m nitpicking or looking for something to complain about. I just don’t feel comfortable there.

Thanks for your response.
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There are two types of abuses: subtraction and addition. Subtraction means omitting things from the Mass or words of prayers, such as men in the Creed. Addition means adding things to the Mass or to prayers, such as holding hands during the Our Father. Animals under altars is a definite abuse, and I would dare say a form of blasmphemy.

Common liturgical abuses can be found here.

You can find missals for both the NO and EF Mass here.
 
Eucharisted said:
Anything omitted from a prayer is an abuse. And anything omitted from the missal is an abuse. So, if the word men is omitted from the Creed, than it is an abuse.
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What can I quote to show these are abuses if I do decide to write a letter? Catechism? Canon Law?
Holding hands during the Our Father is a common abuse
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We do this and take it a step further: we walk across the aisle to join hands with the people on the other side. I have always felt uncomfortable doing this. And again, where/what do I cite to show this is an abuse?
You can find missals for both the NO and EF Mass here.
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I have the St. Joseph’s missal set, but thanks for the references.
 
damooster said:
What can I quote to show these are abuses if I do decide to write a letter? Catechism? Canon Law?

We do this and take it a step further: we walk across the aisle to join hands with the people on the other side. I have always felt uncomfortable doing this. And again, where/what do I cite to show this is an abuse?

I have the St. Joseph’s missal set, but thanks for the references.
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I edited my post 🙂

Just name the abuses you see, don’t quote another Church documents or else your bishop will think you’re telling him his job. He knows the Church’s laws, he’s a Jedi master of them. It’s like Confession: you state the sin and the number of times you commit it. Except in the letter you don’t talk about yourself, just the abuses you’ve seen.

I suppose the letter could go something like this:

Dear Your Eminence,

My name is (full name). I am writing to infom you of liturgical abuses which have been going on at my parish, (full name of parish). They include: (list abuses). I have informed my pastor of these abuses, but he has done nothing to correct them. Please make the abuses cease. Thank you. You are in my prayers. God bless!

Sincerely,
(Your name)
 
Eucharisted said:
Just name the abuses you see, don’t quote another Church documents or else your bishop will think you’re telling him his job.
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I just wanted to know about where it says something may be an abuse for myself. I wouldn’t tell the bishop that for the reasons you mentioned. But it would be good to know for myself.
 
Eucharisted,

Thanks for the links. I’m reading the one titled “The Ten Most Common Liturgical Abuses” and I’m finding all the answers I need.

Thanks again!
 
Hi, I had the same problems and even quit going to Mass for a while.😦 If you can, after you are confirmed, switch to another church where they take the Faith seriously. It is worth traveling for. I am very happily Catholic now in a parish where people are friendly AND the Faith is loved in its authenticity.
 
Offer up these abuses and offenses in your prayers are reparation for sins.

**You only have two more Sundays and then you will be baptized at the Vigil. ** \You can do it. Think of Christ suffering on the cross. He suffered for you. You can suffer two more weeks of siliness for Him.

Then, you need never darken the door of that parish again. You can find another that is reverent and obedient.
 
1ke said:
**You only have two more Sundays and then you will be baptized at the Vigil. ** \You can do it. Think of Christ suffering on the cross. He suffered for you. You can suffer two more weeks of siliness for Him.

Then, you need never darken the door of that parish again. You can find another that is reverent and obedient.
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I agree with this. If you are in the middle of the Scrutinies you only have a short time until your baptism. Stick it out.

The only thing I would add is that before you get to the point of never darkening their door again, I’d have a conversation with the pastor to thank him for being your gateway into the church and then explaining why you’re going elsewhere. I would include not only the issues about how Mass is celebrated but also what’s being taught in RCIA. People have the right to learn what the Church teaches and catechists have the responsibility to teach with the mind and heart of the Church.
 
To the original poster, I feel your pain. I am in a similar situation, except that I have at least another year to go. I switched from the first parish where they were actively hostile toward anything traditional to my current one where they are at least pleasant, if pretty far out in left field.

I’ve learned to keep my mouth (mostly) shut when taught things such as, “contraception is up to the individual” and “we don’t really know which parts of the Bible are true”.

I’ll pray for you and you, please pray for me.

Paul
 
Please hang in there, and I agree I would tell the priest you are leaving and why,and shake the dust of that so-called Catholic Church off of your feet!
I teach RCIA and we are a conservative “Catholic” Church.
Wish you were here.
 
Prague said:
Wish you were here.
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I wish I were there too. Anything to get away from this parish…I’m so frustrated right now.

I went to Mass today with the goal of blocking out all the abuses and things that offended me, but it just couldn’t happen. The presider is notorious for making things up as he goes, and today was no exception. And instead of reading the Gospel, he gave a summary “because reading it would take all day.” Then the people in front of me received communion in the hand while seated (they were assisting the handicapped), and proceeded to wipe their hands off on their jeans and shirt. Then the congregation recited the Concluding Doxology (“Through Him, with Him, and in Him etc…”) with the Father. I’m not sure if this is an abuse, but it just doesn’t seem right. And the other RCIA students have started to recite the Concluding Doxology and look at me funny when I don’t recite it.

That’s my biggest concern now, really. I know what offends me, and I’ve decided to never return after my baptism, but I feel for the RCIA students that are relying on these experiences to learn about the Catholic faith. They’re assuming that this is the way its supposed to be, and if they ever go to another parish for Mass, they’re going to be lost. I’m not trying to sound like I know everything (because I certainly don’t), but I know enough to realize that they’re being poorly taught.

I feel hopeless.
 
woah. i do feel sorry for you, and i agree with what some others said about switching to another church after your baptism. im attending a ‘conservative’ church and personally knew quite a few of the parishioners who simply attended our church because of it instead of going to the ones nearer to their homes.
 
wow that sounds like a parish in crisis!

I suppose you have one of three options. You could stay within that parish, find another Catholic parish, or fall away from the Church. Of these the last option seems so dire and tragic! I hope that you rule out this course because it seems that your parish is a very poor representative of the faith. Listen to God first, who calls you to communion with him, and don’t let the actions and errors of men dissuade or impede you!

If you can find another parish in your area, I’d advise looking for one with a Latin Mass. Even if you don’t care for the Latin Mass, look for it first for two reasons. One, it seems most churches around here who perform the Latin Mass also say the Novo Ordo Mass at other times of the day, so you have a choice. Two, churches that say the Latin Mass are usually more serious about orthodox Catholicism and more conservative in nature, so you might fit right in. At least such is the case around where I live.

The last option is to stay in your parish, and it is the most difficult path I would think. No excuse exists for allowing the altar to become a spot of repose for the dog. Nor does one exist for altering the words of the creed or any such improvisations on the mass. This last part is a serious concern that does need to be brought to the bishop’s attention, because if for some reasons these masses are deemed invalid that’s a grave issue for the sake of the entire parish. It must be addressed right away. Even if I did decide to walk away from this parish were I in your shoes, I would alert the bishop of what I found there. I would do so calmly, truthfully, prepared to back up whatever I claimed about abuses I found at the masses.
 
This is a time of temptation. Have you ever read*** C.S. Lewis’ book The Screwtape Letters?*** A great book for what you maybe going through.

I understand your concerns about the abuses you mentioned and after writing to the bishop maybe take a step back and think about it. Who does not want you to follow Christ? We get so caught up in what our eyes see sometimes we lose focus. We are there to receive the Word.

Satan is messing with you. Don’t lose focus.
 
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