Those who disagree with NFP

[DL82]

I realise there are some Traditional Catholics who disagree with the use of Natural Family Planning for the regulation of births. I just wondered if there are any of you on this board, as I wanted to ask, how does it work in practice? If you have a serious reason to avoid getting pregnant, perhaps for several years, how do you keep your marriage strong while abstaining totally? Do you still, as the NFP manuals suggest, keep working on Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Creative, Emotional intimacy, or does that kind of radical abstinence necessitate really living as brother and sister to avoid occasions of temptation?

What are your reasons for thinking this way? Is it just a personal choice, or do you think there is something (at least venially) sinful about NFP?

Please forgive me if these questions seem too personal or too forward. It is not a view I am familiar with in the Church, and I am just curious to understand it better and be more charitable toward it.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I think that those who feel that way are simply open to life as it comes. They depend on nursing to space children - which does work for many women, but not all.

I don’t know anyone who thinks NFP is sinful; simply not fully open to life.

I don’t know anyone in this category who has had a health related reason to postpone pregnancy so I can’t say how they handled it. Perhaps indeed with years of continence. Perhaps they do begin to use some form of NFP when faced with that.

I do know some couples who have continued to be open to life in situations where others could reasonably say they had a non-health reason to postpone. In one particular situation things were financially very difficult for one couple who became pregnant with #7 and 8 (twins). Now, 8 years later they are doing fine. Any family with 8 children will have fewer material things than one with 2, but they are all adequately provided for.

 

[TomD123]

I realise there are some Traditional Catholics who disagree with the use of Natural Family Planning for the regulation of births. I just wondered if there are any of you on this board, as I wanted to ask, how does it work in practice? If you have a serious reason to avoid getting pregnant, perhaps for several years, how do you keep your marriage strong while abstaining totally? Do you still, as the NFP manuals suggest, keep working on Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Creative, Emotional intimacy, or does that kind of radical abstinence necessitate really living as brother and sister to avoid occasions of temptation?

What are your reasons for thinking this way? Is it just a personal choice, or do you think there is something (at least venially) sinful about NFP?

Please forgive me if these questions seem too personal or too forward. It is not a view I am familiar with in the Church, and I am just curious to understand it better and be more charitable toward it.

There are those traditional Catholics who disagree with NFP altogether but usually these individuals are either misunderstanding the Church’s teaching or not in communion with Rome (at least that has been my experience).

Those who take this view it seems have a misunderstanding of why NFP is moral and contraception is wrong. They make the same mistake as the dissenting modernists who say (“cleverly”) “The Church supports birth control! whats the difference between NFP and contraception?”

Without getting too detailed, the difference lies not in the intention (necessarily) but in the object.

What I mean is that the end to not have children can be justified or not. It all depends but the end of avoiding children within marriage is a sin if it is contrary to the duty of married people to procreate.

This end may be moral. If so, NFP is the only moral choice. The reason lies in the moral object of NFP vs. Contraception. NFP is never contraceptive as its moral object is different from contraeption. Those trads who have a problem with NFP I think sometimes get caught up (for a number of reasons) with the intention of NFP rather than the object. The intention to avoid conception can be moral while contraception can never be.
I don’t want to sound uncharitable towards anyone but thats my best understanding

 

[underacloud]

I realise there are some Traditional Catholics who disagree with the use of Natural Family Planning for the regulation of births.

A traditional Catholic will NOT disagree with using natural means for the regulation of births (when serious reasons exist). It is a clear teaching of the Church that it is acceptable and anyone who says otherwise is in contradiction with Church teaching; such is not what a traditional Catholic would do.

Now, there are some who consider themselves “Traditional” Catholics, who as you say disagree with NFP. There is no reason to worry about their opinions, since Mother Church teaches us clearly that NFP can be perfectly moral.

As for intimacy during NFP, I do not suggest you live as brother and sisiter. You should still express spousal affection towards each other. My wife and I avoid exciting each other during these times, but we certainly like to express our spousal love in ways I would never do with my siblings! You can certainly be affecionate in ways to help build to the renewal of physical love when the time is right.

 

[fpt]

I realise there are some Traditional Catholics who disagree with the use of Natural Family Planning for the regulation of births. I just wondered if there are any of you on this board, as I wanted to ask, how does it work in practice? If you have a serious reason to avoid getting pregnant, perhaps for several years, how do you keep your marriage strong while abstaining totally? Do you still, as the NFP manuals suggest, keep working on Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Creative, Emotional intimacy, or does that kind of radical abstinence necessitate really living as brother and sister to avoid occasions of temptation?

What are your reasons for thinking this way? Is it just a personal choice, or do you think there is something (at least venially) sinful about NFP?

Please forgive me if these questions seem too personal or too forward. It is not a view I am familiar with in the Church, and I am just curious to understand it better and be more charitable toward it.

For information, read these threads. God reading.

NFP and traditional movements
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=658879

Compatibilities or incompatibilities between Quivervull movement and the teaching of catholic church
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=656125

Points of view of Traditional catholic movements on theoretical providentialism?
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=656810

Responsible procreation, NFP before Fall and just after???
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=658443

 

[SusanneT]

I think that those who feel that way are simply open to life as it comes. They depend on nursing to space children - which does work for many women, but not all.

I don’t know anyone who thinks NFP is sinful; simply not fully open to life.

I don’t know anyone in this category who has had a health related reason to postpone pregnancy so I can’t say how they handled it. Perhaps indeed with years of continence. Perhaps they do begin to use some form of NFP when faced with that.

I do know some couples who have continued to be open to life in situations where others could reasonably say they had a non-health reason to postpone. In one particular situation things were financially very difficult for one couple who became pregnant with #7 and 8 (twins). Now, 8 years later they are doing fine. Any family with 8 children will have fewer material things than one with 2, but they are all adequately provided for.

I’m not sure you’re right I think their are quite a few couples who are either morally questioning about NFP (if only for themselves) or who simply find it doesn’t really work for their relationship for varrious reasons but who do not feel able to accept what comes in terms of pregnancies / children.