Tips on being religious in a lukewarm family

[Neotric27]

Hey guys. I just want to know how I can better live my life being religious in a lukewarm family. I attend mass every Sunday, and even sometimes try to go more times a week, as well as frequently going to confession. My family on the other hand, other than my mum, are Christmas and Easter onlys and sometime I feel that I cant really practise my faith openly because they will judge me. I also have been trying to discern my vocation recently, which I believe is the priesthood, but I can’t tell my family because they would look disprovingly onto it. Its a struggle because I commit many sins from the 4th commandment because of this disconnect I feel with my family. I just want to know how I can improve relations and live a better family life.

 

[Psalm30]

Keep going to Mass every Sunday. That is your obligation. It’s commendable to go to Mass during the week, but if your family has an event (such as the one you mentioned in your other thread about your sister’s birthday), it’s probably best to skip weekday Masses and spend time with your family.

There’s really no need to tell them about your discernment of the priesthood. Your discernment of it at this point doesn’t require them knowing about it. Also, you are very young. At your age I was certain I was supposed to be a nun. Now I’m married with two kids. Discernment is a long, intricate process. You need to mention it to your family only when/if you are sure you are actually going begin the process of joining the priesthood.

If your family judges you unjustly, well, that is the cross Jesus told us we would have to bear as Christians. But please don’t confuse them judging you with them simply being hurt by certain things (for example, if you skipped your sister’s birthday celebration to go to a non-obligatory weekday Mass, I think they would be justified in feeling upset with you about that). Remember that we practice our faith by being kind to others. The only time we should disappoint others is when pleasing them would be displeasing God.

I commit many sins from the 4th commandment because of this disconnect I feel with my family.

I would need more details about what sins against the 4th Commandment you are committing, but I can say that you are only fifteen years old and you don’t have complete control over your life. As a minor, you need to obey your parents. Unless they are telling you to do something that is horrifically against God’s laws, you need to obey them. Also, if you don’t drive and do not yet have that aspect of independence, remember your culpability in certain sins is reduced. For instance, if they refuse to drive you to Sunday Mass, that is something out of your control and doesn’t meet the “complete and full consent of the will” requirement for mortal sin.

Be at peace. Love God and love your family. Let the Holy Spirit guide you.

 

[Horton]

I am the only Catholic in a lukewarm to cold Christian family. While I am certainly quite a bit older than 15, it is still a struggle, especially when some of my family mocks my devotion to my Catholic faith.

My best tip to you is to keep with it. As a minor you must do as your parents tell you to do. Keep going to Mass, stay with the discernment process and if allowed by your parents maybe speak to your priest about this.

Keep your head held up, not in pride, but in strength of conviction and pray.

 

[Legend]

I was going to ask your age, but it seems that someone else already looked it up…

My advice is pretty close to what you’ve already received…practice your faith, but don’t go out of your way to display it, and just do what you can to look like, and be, a ‘good person’. As to your vocation, discuss this with a priest, if you can, but don’t announce it to your family. It still may change. Just be a helpful, active member of your family and your community. Act in a way that would do any vocation proud, be it priest, husband, father, or any career or job. Oh, just be someone who most people would be proud to refer to as their friend!