Tips on handling abstinence periods during NFP

[CatholicAggie19]

I know I am asking this question way ahead of time, but I am just trying to prepare myself in advance and can be guilty of overthinking future issues!

My girlfriend and I are discerning marriage and are likely going to get engaged this spring. As of this time, we are considering using NFP during the first year or two of marriage to postpone pregnancy (please no comments about our reasons not being “grave” enough, that is another thread for another time).

I would just like to hear people’s general experience in dealing with abstinent periods, I feel as though it is already very difficult to remain abstinent before marriage, I can only imagine how difficult it will be while married! Any specific things you do to help make abstinent periods more bearable? Also, we have not done an NFP class yet, and I assume this question will be answered when we do, but how many days on average per month/cycle do you remain abstinent? Thanks and God bless

 

[ShrodingersCat]

The number of days is highly dependent on the woman’s cycle and the method used. There is no straight answer. Realistically I think 7 days would pretty much be the absolute bare minimum and it will most likely be longer.

In terms of how to manage abstinence periods, I think the answer is that you do it in much the same way as you do before marriage. Don’t do things that are likely to make you aroused (e.g. passionate kissing). You should maintain connection and show love via other means, such as shared activities and meaningful conversations.

You will likely find the abstinence periods get a little easier to manage as time goes on and you get used to it.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Have fun. Do things together that are fun, especially during the times when you abstain. Play board games, go out dancing, go geocaching, hiking, get a little tripod and go take nature photos. Keep busy with good works, volunteer at the dog pound or at the CVICU in the hospital or at a nursing home. Work on home improvement projects, organize the junk drawer.