To be in a Gay relationship and Catholic, or to leave God behind, what's the greater sin?

[Lucretius]

What’s the greater sin? To remain with my partner and continue to be a Catholic? Or to say “screw it” and leave God and faith, religion behind forever?

Can’t we just cut to the chase and reject both options?

Anyway, I don’t know which would be worse: I guess the better option would be which one makes it easier for the Spirit to enter your heart, which depends on circumstance.

Christi pax,

Lucretius

 

[St_Francis]

I think it more toxic to leave the Church out of spite and hatred, than to stay and be a Catholic, albeit an imperfect one in an “irregular” union.

**I can be an imperfect Catholic, abstaining from the Eucharist, living the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the best of my ability, with my partner by my side. **Or, I can leave Jesus and the Church behind in enmity and contempt…

Consider your motives for continuing to attend Mass, etc. Is that because you want to *be with *Christ (which istm is the case)? If so, then I would suggest following the bolded plan. You would be on the path rather than abandoning it altogether. You should also do the other things like praying, esp. prayerful reading (meditative prayer).

 

[Dorothy]

Our Lord Jesus Christ left us Himself in the Eucharist. With much prayer and suffering (He gives us His strength) we can do the absolute right thing and choose Jesus first! We have Him to live in us and show us His way.

 

[jaimeleglise]

Repent so that you might spend eternity in heaven with Jesus. I say this out of love for you.
Praying for you. God bless you.

 

[MarkInOregon]

What’s the greater sin? To continue using birth control and continue to be a Catholic? Or to say “screw it” and leave God and faith, religion behind forever?

What’s the greater sin? To look at pornograghy and continue to be a Catholic? Or to say “screw it” and leave God and faith, religion behind forever?

What’s the greater sin? To publicly condemn sinners and continue to be a Catholic? Or to say “screw it” and leave God and faith, religion behind forever?

What’s the greater sin? To remain angry with my friend and continue to be a Catholic? Or to say “screw it” and leave God and faith, religion behind forever?

What’s the greater sin? To pig out at dinner and continue to be a Catholic? Or to say “screw it” and leave God and faith, religion behind forever?

What’s the greater sin? To irregularly attend Mass and continue to be a Catholic? Or to say “screw it” and leave God and faith, religion behind forever?

The greater sin is always turning your back on God forever. You know what He wants; if you don’t, find out. So do your best.

What is the result of mortal sin? Do I receive a lesser punishment for a “lesser” mortal sin? Or do I receive the same punishment regardless of the mortal sin? I think it is dangerous for us to try a rank our sins as greater or lesser–they are all a turning away from God, from Gods will in favor of our will. We kid ourselves if we think our “lesser” sins are not turning our back on God–at some point when we die with our “lesser” mortal sin–at that point we will find out that we had indeed turned our back on God forever–even if we deluded ourselves into thinking we had not. Finally --one can always come back to God–no decision is final until death–until that moment one can always have a conversion experience, see the truth and repent returning to God and his mercy.

For the OP–I would ask why do you want to remain Catholic–do you believe the Catholic Church hold the fullness of revealed truth? Do you want to live that truth? Do you want to discern Gods will and attempt to live it? Or do you want to attempt to live it in all areas but this one --where possibly you are not even willing to make an attempt–or do you think the Church teaches error in this one area? From your post I just don’t know.

I can’t say which is worse and as I said earlier I think we run a great risk when we convince ourselves that whatever particular sin we want to engage in is not as bad as some other sin–what I will say is that if someone rejects the Church and leaves–as many do–they may at some point in the future realize what they have left behind, what they are missing and come to the realization that the path they chose was not so enlightened, not so fulfilling, and not so joy inducing as they imagined–and that what they left behind was where they could find true and lasting happiness–as many do. The risk when we stay and convince ourselves that our pet sins are not so bad (heck after enough time we no longer even really believe they are sins)–is that we fail to realize that indeed just like cigarettes they have been slowly killing us for years.

I suggest you pray, seek the guidance of a good and holy priest, and ask why you want to remain Catholic–if it is for the love of God and the fullness of truth perhaps you may find some answers and some strength there to embrace and attempt to live the Gospel amidst your weakness–as that is all any of us can do amidst our weakness.

The peace of Christ,
Mark

 

[Rau]

…I can be an imperfect Catholic, abstaining from the Eucharist, living the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the best of my ability, with my partner by my side. Or, I can leave Jesus and the Church behind in enmity and contempt…

Why not omit sexual acts from your relationship, and then be free to have all the other good things - in relationship, and in your Catholic faith?

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

I think it more toxic to leave the Church out of spite and hatred, than to stay and be a Catholic, albeit an imperfect one in an “irregular” union.

I can be an imperfect Catholic, abstaining from the Eucharist, living the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the best of my ability, with my partner by my side. Or, I can leave Jesus and the Church behind in enmity and contempt…

Your relationship can be morally acceptable if it is not sexual.

 

[Edmundus1581]

I think the OP deserves more of a pastoral response to his question than a theological one, but I would like to settle the actual theological issue, as there shouldn’t be any debate on this.

This is quite easy, as the Church teaching is clear - not all sins are equal, and not all mortal sins are of equal gravity. It is definitely not the case that if you’ve committed, or are committing, one mortal sin then you are morally as bad is if you’d committed an even worse one.

Thomas Aquinas’s Summa Theoligica, Question 73 addresses this in detail.

Question 73.** The comparison of one sin with another**

Are all sins and vices connected with one another?
Are all equal?
Does the gravity of sin depend on its object?
Does it depend on the excellence of the virtue to which it is opposed?
Are carnal sins more grievous than spiritual sins?
Does the gravity of sins depend on their causes?
Does it depend on their circumstances?
Does it depend on how much harm ensues?
Does it depend on the position of the person sinned against?
Is sin aggravated by reason of the excellence of the person sinning?

If you go to the link be wary of Aquinas style, which is to state an error as if it were true, and then to respond to it. Eg. ". It would seem that all sins are equal. Because sin is to do what is unlawful…Therefore one sin is not graver than another. " is actually an error! The errors are labelled as “Objections”.

In answer to Are carnal sins more grievous than spiritual sins? he responds:

I answer that,** Spiritual sins are of greater guilt than carnal sins: yet this does not mean that each spiritual sin is of greater guilt than each carnal sin; but that, considering the sole difference between spiritual and carnal, spiritual sins are more grievous than carnal sins, other things being equal. **Three reasons may be assigned for this. The first is on the part of the subject: because spiritual sins belong to the spirit, to which it is proper to turn to God, and to turn away from Him; whereas carnal sins are consummated in the carnal pleasure of the appetite, to which it chiefly belongs to turn to goods of the body; so that carnal sin, as such, denotes more a “turning to” something, and for that reason, implies a closer cleaving; whereas spiritual sin denotes more a “turning from” something, whence the notion of guilt arises; and for this reason it involves greater guilt. A second reason may be taken on the part of the person against whom sin is committed: because carnal sin, as such, is against the sinner’s own body, which he ought to love less, in the order of charity, than God and his neighbor, against whom he commits spiritual sins, and consequently spiritual sins, as such, are of greater guilt. A third reason may be taken from the motive, since the stronger the impulse to sin, the less grievous the sin, as we shall state further on (6). Now carnal sins have a stronger impulse, viz. our innate concupiscence of the flesh. Therefore spiritual sins, as such, are of greater guilt.

Again, to the OP, I say peace and blessings! You seem to be doing the best you can with this. We all sin, and many, if not all, of us are tempted to quit from time to time. This was a good question, and my answer is to hang on to the faith you have, and to feel welcome in the Church as you are. Talk to a priest in the confessional, if you can. He may not be able to absolve you if you don’t intend to abstain from illicit relations, but he will certainly be able to offer advice and comfort.

Once again, a good question - but the pastoral answer is more important than the theological.

 

[Maximilan_Kolbe]

I think there are more than just two choices.
For example…
Many people stay with their partners and stay Christian and therefore stay with God, faith, and religion…and leave the enmity and contempt behind.

.

Or for example, many people leave their situation behind (something everyone is called to do with their own sins…), reconcile their life with God’s will, and continue to serve Him in the Church with all their heart and soul.

Don’t make it out as though you have only two choices, or that you are somehow making demands or holding the Church hostage by doing so.

 

[62peppe]

What’s the greater sin? To remain with my partner and continue to be a Catholic? Or to say “screw it” and leave God and faith, religion behind forever?

If you remain with your partner you already are not catholic and have left God and faith, religion behind … but not for ever, you can change your mind at any time.

 

[Edmundus1581]

If you remain with your partner you already are not catholic and have left God and faith, religion behind … but not for ever, you can change your mind at any time.

Instead of condemning the OP, I recommend that you actually answer his question, as I have done here and here.

 

[sirach2v4]

What’s the greater sin? To remain with my partner and continue to be a Catholic? Or to say “screw it” and leave God and faith, religion behind forever?

I would prefer to discuss this in the hypothetical case, rather than talk about “you.”

We are all called to holiness. We have lots of Catholic sound bytes, like, God hates sin.
So, hypothetically, we should all be on that path towards sainthood. Ask anybody over 60 how fast life goes by (or anybody under 60 who is sick).

Para. 1735 of the Catechism hasn’t really been taught to us fully. I asked a TV priest to explain it and he said it was too complicated to explain on TV – (what?). It says that we may not be responsible for a sin, even if that sin is objectively grave matter – for a whole variety of vaguely stated reasons. I think it’s important for us to understand this teaching of the church, as it applies to both ourselves and others.

Benedict XVI appeals to it in an essay about homosexuality, and says that people in that relationship may not be necessarily in a state of grave sin. Francis has invoked 1735 in his apostolic exhortation on marriage, but I don’t recall in what context. So, the most I know about 1735 aside from reading it, is two examples I know of where the Popes have applied it.

the Church is so reactive to same-sex unions, that I’ve not heard a discussion if it is even theoretically possible to be in a same-sex civil marriage and yet live chastely, without sinning? It may very well be, in the sense that two people have a ‘contract’ with each other, and live together, avoiding sexual immorality – is this possible?

To turn our backs to God does not ‘square’ with faith and trust in God. I just looked up the word ‘sloth’ last night, and it is defined as spiritual laxity and/or indifference. I don’t think any Catholic can recommend that.

 

[Kay_Cee]

What’s the greater sin? To remain with my partner and continue to be a Catholic? Or to say “screw it” and leave God and faith, religion behind forever?

I’m very disturbed by the OP asking this question. What, exactly, is he (or she) after? Is it some comfort, perhaps, in knowing that one mortal sin isn’t as bad as another mortal sin?

Isn’t that something like saying “Well, if I end up in Hell, will I be able to take some comfort in the fact that I’m not in a lower level of Hell instead?”

All sin is heinous. All sin should be avoided at all costs.

St. Faustina was given a vision of Hell, and she said something afterward about just how horrible sin is. I wrote a short little blog post about it, which you can read here:reflections911.wordpress.com/2016/04/14/door-a-or-door-b/#more-282

 

[Rau]

I’m very disturbed by the OP asking this question. What, exactly, is he (or she) after? Is it some comfort, perhaps, in knowing that one mortal sin isn’t as bad as another mortal sin?

The OP posts the question in post #1 and provides his/her own answer in post #3 and then ceased participation. Seems to me the intent was to make a statement, not to seek the better path, let alone the best path.