To Cross, or not to Cross, that is the question?

[kell0618]

Hello,

Can anyone shed a little perspective on this issue? We’ve recently converted to the Catholic Church and we have a question about doing the sign of the cross while in the company of our very anti-Catholic mother-in-law. When we told her of our conversion she was quite upset and told us never to do the sign of the cross around her and her other grandchildren. Fine, we agreed not to do it in front of her and her other grandchildren. The problem we are running into lately is at our kids birthday parties, when we are inviting our kids Catholic friends to the parties. We’ve told our kids that some people are uncomfortable with the sign of the cross and out of love we refrain from doing it. But, when there are other Catholic children around with us, are we not being responsible to them and their parents if we don’t do the sign of the cross? Even when the anti-catholic mother-in-law is in our midst?

Can you please help?

I almost forgot…:doh2:

WELCOME HOME! :extrahappy:

 

[bankerdavid]

The OP’s problem is not just about faith alone but also an in-law relationship’s. I have to say this is not an easy case to deal with.

I thought long and hard about this. I was listening to Fr. Corapi speaking of excommunication, and how the Church does not excommunicate anyone-it’s the person’s choice to disobey Church teaching, so effectively, the person excommunicates himself from the Church.
In this way, the parent, who is responsible at this time for the souls of his children, should respectfully offer a choice to the grandparent-to respect the parent’s desire to bring up their children properly, or to never see the child again.
If the in-law was insistent upon smoking in the presence of the children, and the parents wish was that the children not be subjected to this practice (or any other unhealthy practice), I would not hesitate to inform my in-law or parent that this is forbidden in the presence of the children. Lay down the law.

In our case above, this is for the spiritual health of the children, and I would react the same way-as lovingly and respectfully as I could.

 

[Margaret33]

I thought long and hard about this. I was listening to Fr. Corapi speaking of excommunication, and how the Church does not excommunicate anyone-it’s the person’s choice to disobey Church teaching, so effectively, the person excommunicates himself from the Church.
In this way, the parent, who is responsible at this time for the souls of his children, should respectfully offer a choice to the grandparent-to respect the parent’s desire to bring up their children properly, or to never see the child again.
If the in-law was insistent upon smoking in the presence of the children, and the parents wish was that the children not be subjected to this practice (or any other unhealthy practice), I would not hesitate to inform my in-law or parent that this is forbidden in the presence of the children. Lay down the law.

In our case above, this is for the spiritual health of the children, and I would react the same way-as lovingly and respectfully as I could.

I agree. I think our primary responsibility is to our children, and we need to remember that we have been given this glorious gift by the Father of caring for their spiritual upbringing. And that, in my opinion, should not be compromised due to anyone’s personal distaste for Catholicism.

Although it may not be an easy situation, I don’t believe that appeasing the mother-in-law by denying your faith or asking your children to deny theirs in even the smallest of ways is the answer. True, you don’t have to put it in her face, but you should not alter what you’ve been doing in the raising of your children either.

You are in your home, with your children, and I don’t think that foregoing the sign of the cross is a reasonable or respectful request on anyone else’s part. You are not harming anyone and should not to be made to feel as if you are. Nor should the children be made to feel that they are either, or worry every time they do the sign of the cross that they might be ‘offending someone’. Hopefully you can explain this to her with love and respect, and from there, it is her decision as to whether she wants to put her grandchildren’s needs first or her own.

By asking them not to express their faith in even the smallest of ways you would be doing them a disservice and setting an example (however inadvertently) that it is ok to ‘deny the Father’ if others ask you to. Somewhere down the line this would lead to feelings of embarrassment about their religion and/or faith, if in the company of certain people who they fear may not ‘approve’ - instead of teaching them to stand up for what they believe in and be proud of who they are, no matter whose company they are in or what they may happen to think.

Just my opinion…

Bless you,
Margaret

 

[ltbpoe43]

MIL sounds a little controlling in this arrangement/agreement. If she is not of the faith or anti of the faith - how could the sign of the cross be bothersome to her or other grandchildren.

Practice your faith and be able to explain to MIL what it means to you and your family. Better to ask forgiveness than permission - sometimes… this may be one of them.