To Friend or Unfriend a Gay Anti-Catholic

[bakerbel]

A person on my facebook friends list is a gay atheist and anti-Catholic on top of it. He does not hold back on his not so very nice opinions about the Catholic religion (or any other religion for that matter). While he can otherwise be a likable person, funny, insightful, his condescenting comments can sometimes get to me. What should a good Catholic do? Should I unfriend this person, or be more tolerant and remain connected with him? What do you think?

 

[1ke]

And why do you want to be friends with someone who purposely insults your faith?

 

[Jars_of_Clay_1]

A person on my facebook friends list is a gay atheist and anti-Catholic on top of it. He does not hold back on his not so very nice opinions about the Catholic religion (or any other religion for that matter). While he can otherwise be a likable person, funny, insightful, his condescenting comments can sometimes get to me. What should a good Catholic do? Should I unfriend this person, or be more tolerant and remain connected with him? What do you think?

Hi Bakerbel: I find that folks who are so vocal in stating their dislike for any religion has usually been terribly hurt by someone representing that religion. For instance, there’s the church that states, “God hates Fags.” God doesn’t hate anyone. God loves that person more then he or she realizes - but God doesn’t like sin, be that sexual sin or any other sin.

You shouldn’t have to put up with insults yourself, but perhaps if you could turn your cheek a few times to demonstrate the love of Jesus to him or her, perhaps that would catch their attention to be lead on the road to His great love for us all and turn away from the sin in his or her life.

It’s really good of you to consider befriending this wounded and lost individual. All the best to you in your decision.

 

[yellowbird]

For me, facebook is nothing but a fun way to keep in touch with my friends and family. If I had a FB friend who was constantly posting anti-catholic stuff on my page I’d unfriend him because how no fun is that?! If he were simply posting stuff on his own page, I’d hide him - or I might delete him if he wasn’t a good friend or related to me.

I have gay friends on FB - but nobody who is outright anti-Catholic. Yeah, that would really bug me. I come to the these forums if I want to debate religion… I wouldn’t want to do that on FB.

PS. You could always suggest he come here to talk about why he doesn’t believe in God… remind him to read the forum rules… but he’s welcome to discuss his lack of faith… I kinda think then you’re off the hook if you’re worried that you should keep him as a FB friend because you’re his Christian connection?

 

[Rence]

It’s so annoying, isn’t it? when I was younger I had a friend who was anti-everything if someone in the room believed in it. She was anti-Catholic in the midst of Catholics (we worked in a Catholic hospital…geh, the stuff she said was awful), when in the midst of Jewish, she was anti-semetic (however, she was Jewish herself - non practicing, but still). She was anti country, if someone lived in the country…anti city if you lived in the city…you get the point.

If your friend is someone you actually meet up with in real life, it would be a good opportunity to teach that person about the Catholic Church and show them by example, maybe slip some dogma or theology into the equation. It’s a good opportunity for you to love the sinner but hate the sin. Don’t ever let him say that the CC hates anyone, by your example. That’s not to say that you should ever accept his lifestyle as it’s against the teachings of the Church, and let him know you don’t, but also let him know you are there for him, will pray for him, will answer his questions, will teach him, etc. Show her that your religion is a part of your everyday life.

Remember also the Church doesn’t single out gay people. She accepts homosexual orientation, but like everyone else not married, they are expected to be chaste. So really, Catholics aren’t supposed to be treating gay people any differently than anyone else. So say to him what you would say to your friends who are not chaste. Isn’t the fact that he’s gay irrelevant when you look at the whole picture? How do you interact with your friend who is fornicating with their boy/girlfriends?

If he’s just someone on facebook, I agree with yellowbird, just defriend him and be done with it

 

[anEvilAtheist]

This struck me as an interesting situation, as I have recently been thinking about what it means to be anti something. When you say that he is anti-Catholic, what do you mean? Does he think that the Catholic Church has done a lot of evil and speak out against that evil, or is it something far more radical? I have usually heard Catholics say that they are not against gay people, they are just opposed to the act. Is someone who thinks gay people are doing evil acts automatically anti-gay? Is someone who thinks the Catholic Church is doing acts of evil automatically anti-Catholic? I’m not quite sure of the right answer, but I’d be interested in your thoughts.

 

[kalt]

Unfriend. What you let stand on your FB is a reflection on you.

 

[SnakeMauler]

Unfriend. I know you’re probably only asking because you’d feel bad not being friends because hes gay and don’t want to be considered a homophobe, but you have to look at his character rather then sexual preference. If he talks **** about Catholics all the time, delete him. Its easy to find someone who is “otherwise a likable person” and not anti Catholic.

 

[bakerbel]

He is much like your friend, Rence, who seems to always have something negative to say on just about everything. This “friend” is really more like an acquaintance. He has been somewhat influential in my decision to take a different career path. He is in that way a good resource, quite experienced and knowledgeable of the career I want to transition into. I have decided for now to keep him on my network and see if I really need him around. He actually does have a good side to him that surfaces everyone now and then. The way I see it, when someone says anything denouncing God or anything relating to God and Christianity, he or she is merely looking for answers, and, as many of you know, God, in one way or another, will provide. Thank you all for your very candid responses.

 

[aspirant]

While he can otherwise be a likable person, funny, insightful, his condescenting comments can sometimes get to me. What should a good Catholic do?

You could ask him, politely, not to make condescending comments toward you.

 

[youngsaint]

Unfriend him,

Tolerating stuff is whats ruining this country, etc. “happy holidays” to take care of the .01% atheists

 

[josephryungk]

I don’t know what your friend said about catholicism, you didn’t really say, but if he’s gay, he’s been hearing all his life that:

the person he’d grow up to be is evil
his love is invalid and disturbed
his love is inferior
he is inferior
he has most likely been bullied with rationales supported by your church
he has seen your church call him evil and disordered in public
he has seen his church and it’s membes actively lobby to prevent him from having rights
he has been blamed by your church for divorce and pedophilia
he has suffered continued verbal abuse supported by your church.

He can and should have a problem being treated this way, why do you see this as “anti-Catholic” when catholicism is so antigay? Is he not just debunking his oppression?

 

[Sufjon]

A person on my facebook friends list is a gay atheist and anti-Catholic on top of it. He does not hold back on his not so very nice opinions about the Catholic religion (or any other religion for that matter). While he can otherwise be a likable person, funny, insightful, his condescenting comments can sometimes get to me. What should a good Catholic do? Should I unfriend this person, or be more tolerant and remain connected with him? What do you think?

Hi Bakerbel: It is easy to love people who agree with you and people who love you back. Perhaps it might be best to let your friendship and your love to shine like the light of the bonfire, which shines equally on all things in it’s path without regard to the nature of the people it shines on. Then it is only up to the good and the bad alike to walk into the light of the love you have given freely and without conditions. I don’t think we meet anyone by accident, and if this is true, then it is likely you know this person for a reason. It is possible that this person’s atheism and anti-Catholicism are some of the challenges he has to work through in life. Perhaps one of your challenges is the way to be a friend in spite of that.

Your friend
Sufjon

 

[HAnne]

Personally, I have a 3 strikes and you’re out rule for my FB friends. They are not allowed to get obnoxious about religion, the 2nd Amendment, politics in general, or homeschooling. I will do my part not to post things meant to enable or encourage debate - they do their part to shut up when they know better.

If they make an obnoxious comment, they get a warning to back off and the comment is deleted. If they do it again, I delete the post they’re commenting on and tell them they have 1 more chance in a PM. What they don’t know is then I block them from seeing my posts for a few days so everyone has a chance to simmer down. When they’re “unleashed” again they have a 2 month “probationary” period where I watch them like hawks. IF they can behave that whole time, they’re back to full privileges until they screw up again.

I don’t like having to babysit them but if they insist on acting like children then that’s what I have to do if they’re going to remain. Shirt-tails, internet friends, and people I don’t really know generally aren’t on there. They get a VERY short leash compared to those who are close family, etc.

 

[seeker57]

He is much like your friend, Rence, who seems to always have something negative to say on just about everything. This “friend” is really more like an acquaintance. He has been somewhat influential in my decision to take a different career path. He is in that way a good resource, quite experienced and knowledgeable of the career I want to transition into. I have decided for now to keep him on my network and see if I really need him around. He actually does have a good side to him that surfaces everyone now and then. The way I see it, when someone says anything denouncing God or anything relating to God and Christianity, he or she is merely looking for answers, and, as many of you know, God, in one way or another, will provide. Thank you all for your very candid responses.

I would keep him befriended on Facebook unless his rants became so disturbing you felt you could not tolerate him further.

I have had the same problem, well, sort of. I have friends who are very conservative. We get along fine as long as we don’t discuss politics or religion, but if those subjects are broached, things can get heated.

I have learned to ignore the occasional rants they post. They know how I feel and are usually respectful of my feelings, but sometimes they just seem to be unable to help themselves.

I know they will probably not change many of their views as a result of my beliefs, and they know I probably won’t change mine because of theirs, but, we are still friends.

I believe I must try to treat others with justice, equity and compassion. Sometimes, it isn’t easy.

I believe Christians are admonished to do something along the same lines, loving those who would attack you or something to that effect?

You might think of interaction with this guy as a test of your Christian mettle.

Seeker