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fin
Guest
How did you know you were called to singleness? Was it desire, or through prayer, something else?
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rosejmj
Guest
Well sometimes you may choose it in order to dedicate yourself to God through a certain ministry or apostolate. Otherwise either you are unable to get married or haven’t found someone to marry.
Right; in my case I didn’t feel like I was “called” to it; it just happened.
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PetraG
Guest
“Singleness” isn’t really a different call than being full initiated into the Church. It can be a lifelong state, but it isn’t a permanent state. You haven’t been called to the priesthood, religious life or marriage, that’s all. Maybe that will change, but maybe it won’t. That’s OK. You seem to realize that even if you are not called to one of those other states in life that require a lifetime commitment to that particular state in life, you are still called to commit yourself fully to your baptismal call right now. That is an excellent thing! It is enough. You don’t have to see your state as a permanent state or a temporary one, but rather as the state from which you fulfill the commandments and seek to know, love and serve God today. There is no requirement to look further when you have considered the other possibilities and have no particular call to look into them further.
As Our Lord said, “But seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.” Matt. 6:33-34
As Our Lord said, “But seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.” Matt. 6:33-34
Some people do forswear considering marriage or the religious life because it is incompatible with a particular thing they discern they are called to do at the moment or for the foreseeable future. The difference is that a lifelong commitment to that isn’t required. You don’t have to consider yourself “called to” give up the other states in life in a permanent way in order to take them off the table for now.
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Some might be explicitly “called” to the single life. Some could be homosexuals who rightly choose to remain celibate. Others might have an abnormality, such as psychological asexuality, an intersex condition that can’t be corrected by surgery and hormone therapy, or even an intersex condition that could be corrected but the person chooses not to. If a person cannot physically consummate the sex act, then valid marriage is not possible. And yet others might have some kind of condition that society views as extremely unattractive (either physical or mental), and it would be almost impossible for them to find a mate.
Or they could be like me — too set in their ways and just too plain ornery to consider marriage in the first place
And there are some people who just simply don’t want to get married. No reason they couldn’t, they just don’t want to. Not so much a choice, just a maintenance of the status quo. It happens.
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rosejmj
Guest
I think it is possible to be single and to not be a religious. For example someone might feel called to specific Catholic organization, mission etc. For example numeraries in Opus Dei are single. They are not consecrated and yet they feel called to remain single in order to dedicate their lives more fully to God and to give more of themselves to the apostolates of Opus Dei. There are other groups in which lay people choose to remain single to dedicate themselves to the mission of the community. I think if religious and priests are considered to have vocations, these single people do to. I think as different lay organizations and groups have developed so has the lay vocation. Marriage isn’t the only lay vocation
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DeniseNY
Guest
When I was younger I didn’t want to be single, but now I think I’ve just kind of accepted it. I don’t know though if that’s the same as being called to it.
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VanitasVanitatum
Guest
Desire, but I don’t know if that’s just me deluding myself.
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Cruciferi
Guest
Same hereOr they could be like me — too set in their ways and just too plain ornery to consider marriage in the first place
…Grumbles…
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PetraG
Guest
St. Paul essentially wrote to the Corinthians that every Christian is better off remaining single, but that some have this gift and others have that gift. In other words, yes, to be single is a call. The difference is that the Christian who is single, unlike the priest or the married person, still has the freedom to marry or seek ordination or to join a religious community. The person retains the authority to do that. They are not bound to their spouse for life nor do they have to seek permission to be released from their religious vows. I think it is quite praiseworthy for someone who is not bound to live as though they were bound, or perhaps I should say to be bound by daily re-dedication rather than by a formal vow.
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drac16
Guest
It’s a conviction that I believe came from the Lord. Jesus said that there are persons who have made themselves eunuchs and that’s what I am (that is to say, I have chosen to be single). If the Lord wants me to get married, He will bring the right woman into my life, but for now, I am happy being single. 
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EAB
Guest
:raising_hand_woman: Same here also!
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