Too ashamed to confess at my own parish

[figs]

So you have the opposite situation from me. To be honest, I’m glad to hear it! My mother, who confesses to her parish priest with whom she doesn’t particularly get along, told me that if I don’t confess often to someone who sees me regularly, the absolution may be valid but I won’t have a good opportunity to get help in overcoming my shortcomings and avoiding future sin. It would be like treading water vs. actually swimming. Having taken that on board, I eventually came to conclusion that I need to find a regular confessor, someone who sees me often outside the confessional as well, who can gauge my progress and advise me accordingly. So that’s where I am today.

Your mother gives very good advise :yup:
As a mother of someone probably your age, I think you’re a wonderful, loving daughter to hear what your mother says and to try it. You will feel a huge difference in what you are seeking.
God bless †

 

[acadian]

It sounds like you have a wonderful situation, and I’m glad you are blessed in this way. I’m hoping to have such an arrangement myself, which is why I’m preparing to take the leap from confession in English four times per year to confession in French every month (or more often, if my parish priest [Fr. B] and/or I think I need it). I’m especially happy for you that your interactions with your confessor outside the confessional are comfortable. I unfortunately do not have a similar situation - my interactions with Fr. B are usually awkward, strange, and often quite schizophrenic - but I’m reasonably confident it will come. I do get on with our other priests rather effortlessly, so it might seem odd that I would insist on confessing to the one with whom I have the most difficulty, but I am drawn to him because I know he will tell me what I need to hear, which is not necessarily what I want to hear. He challenges me. I need the challenge.

(For the record, my relationship with Fr. B does also include relaxed, tender, and sometimes even funny moments. It’s not all thunder and lightning. I don’t think I could confess regularly - or even at all - to someone with whom my interactions were always tense and uncomfortable.)
.

And for the record here, our interactions outside the confessional are sometimes awkward. I had one last week that left me kind of ??? “what did he mean by that?”. He has his way of doing things and he maintains a professional distance with most, I think. However, those awkward moments are not caused by confession. As a confessor – a.w.e.s.o.m.e.- kind, encouraging, helpful.

I started off going to confession every 3 months or so ( after the once-every-10-years and every-other-year-or-so scheduled) and it has gradually grown into the once-a-month-or-so schedule. You are on the right track! Take courage!

 

[MissRose73]

Since I do not go regularly to one parish all of the time due to my work schedule changes, I do not have a priest I go to a great deal. But all of the priests I’ve gone to no matter in my hometown or not have always been good to me in terms of making me feel comfortable confessing plus give appropriate penances of prayer.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Thank you for your encouragement, figs and acadian :hug3: Fr. B is going on vacation for almost all of July and my next English-language confession is scheduled for August, so it will be September before I start making the transition.

My point in bringing all this up is to hopefully illustrate at least some of the potential benefits of confessing to a priest who knows you. Though I haven’t gotten to that point yet myself, I have begun preparing for it and even that process has borne abundant fruit I never expected!

So, be not afraid. :console:

 

[figs]

So, be not afraid. :console:

 

[Joannm]

I actually prefer to confess to a priest that I know. It makes me feel more comfortable than confessing to a stranger. I have never had a problem feeling awkward with them after.