Too worried about sinning

[brown_bear]

The concern of many Christians seems to be almost exclusively that of not sinning, which is not bad but we must go further.

Hundreds of people ask if a certain thing is sinful or not, and that’s okay, it makes sense.

What is strange is that almost never anyone asks, for example: “How can I love Jesus more during my working hours?”
“What pleases Jesus more, besides avoiding sins?”

Sursum corda!
Habemus ad Dominum!

 

[christofirst]

Immediately, I thought of the Sermon on the Mount and the Beatitudes. We have the Ten Commandments to tell us what we ought not to do, but we also have the Beatitudes to tell us what we ought to do :+1:t2:

Of course, there are sins of commission as well as sins of omission, which could potentially include neglecting the positive things we are asked to do.

But overall, I agree that a healthier attitude for us would be, “What good can I do today?” rather than exclusively asking, “What bad can I avoid today?”

 

[Tis_Bearself]

But overall, I agree that a healthier attitude for us would be, “What good can I do today?” rather than exclusively asking, “What bad can I avoid today?”

This forum is not exactly a hotbed of “healthy” Catholic attitudes. Many (though not all) who post here are excessively concerned with sin, Hell/ purgatory, and judgment day. Trying to suggest a different focus is usually met with some response about how the lack of focus on sin has caused the morality of the world to sink to its all-time low (debatable, considering that human nature has never changed and we’ve had a lot of very evil times in just the past 2000 years) and that most Catholics are lukewarm and just assume everyone is going to Heaven when in reality almost nobody goes, etc.

I find it to be an unproductive and sometimes disturbing mindset, but people who have it seem unwilling to give it up.

 

[Vico]

…
“What pleases Jesus more, besides avoiding sins?”
…

An answer for that is in the Catechism of the Catholic Church

2710 … One cannot always meditate, but one can always enter into inner prayer, independently of the conditions of health, work, or emotional state. The heart is the place of this quest and encounter, in poverty and in faith.

2712 Contemplative prayer is the prayer of the child of God, of the forgiven sinner who agrees to welcome the love by which he is loved and who wants to respond to it by loving even more.8 But he knows that the love he is returning is poured out by the Spirit in his heart, for everything is grace from God. Contemplative prayer is the poor and humble surrender to the loving will of the Father in ever deeper union with his beloved Son.

2742 "Pray constantly . . . always and for everything giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God the Father."33 St. Paul adds, "Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance making supplication for all the saints."34 For "we have not been commanded to work, to keep watch and to fast constantly, but it has been laid down that we are to pray without ceasing."35 This tireless fervor can come only from love. Against our dullness and laziness, the battle of prayer is that of humble, trusting, and persevering love. This love opens our hearts to three enlightening and life-giving facts of faith about prayer.

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

But overall, I agree that a healthier attitude for us would be, “What good can I do today?” rather than exclusively asking, “What bad can I avoid today?”

I agree. Sometimes people will make the argument “well, even if someone goes overboard in assuming everything is a sin, what’s the harm? Better safe than sorry.”

This is the harm. The harm is that it crowds out everything else and instead of thinking of how you can better love your fellow man you’re obsessing over whether walking past the Victoria’s Secret billboard yesterday was a mortal sin.

 

[christofirst]

walking past the Victoria’s Secret billboard

That hits close to home . Before the pandemic I used to take my elderly mother exercise walking at our local mall twice a week. Round and round we’d go, constantly passing the Victoria’s Secret store with its photos of seductive, barely-clothed models on display.

For some reason I was always reminded of that story from the Desert Fathers where two traveling monks came upon a woman unable to cross a river, so one of them carried her across even though monks were supposed to avoid physical contact with women. Later, when the other monk expressed how scandalized he was, the monk who helped the woman replied, “Are you still carrying that woman? I let go of her when we reached the other side of the river!”

 

[Tis_Bearself]

This is the harm. The harm is that it crowds out everything else and instead of thinking of how you can better love your fellow man you’re obsessing over whether walking past the Victoria’s Secret billboard yesterday was a mortal sin.

Plus, for most of them, avoiding sin is not about loving God, it’s about not getting punished by your strict father God. They seem to regard God as some kind of a prison warden.

Also, many of them don’t just stop at their own sins but are always looking for others’ sins so they can “admonish” the others and hand-wring over how sinful everybody is.

 

[Dan_Defender]

‘He who loves God with all his heart does not fear death or punishment or judgment or hell,
because perfect love assures access to God. It is no wonder that he who still delights in sin fears death and judgment. It is good, however, that even if love does not as yet restrain you from evil, at least the fear of hell does. The man who casts aside the fear of God cannot continue long in goodness but will
quickly fall into the snares of the devil.’ - The Imitation of Christ

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Right, I think it’s normal to go through a “Fear of Hell” stage as baby steps to loving God. When you are a little kid and your parent tells you not to eat the cookies or not to cross the street, you don’t do it because your parent will yell or punish you if you are caught. When you get to be older, like a teenager, you should be reaching the stage of not doing stuff because you realize the rules are for your own good and also you want to make your parents happy and proud, not disappointed and upset.

So it’s one thing when people are obviously young or what the Protestants call “baby Christians” and they’re worried about sin all the time. It’s a phase. Also there are a lot of people who haven’t been catechized well and they genuinely aren’t sure what is and isn’t a sin. Even if you are relatively well-catechized, there may be some areas where somebody didn’t communicate clearly to you and you got a wrong idea.

 

[brown_bear]

I would say I agree.

A friend of mine wants to do God’s will every day, for the love of Jesus.

However, at a time when he was being treated for severe depression, he tells me that he was sometimes tempted to commit suicide, and that the thought of hell helped him - and psychiatric help too.

In this case I say: blessed thought, which saved my friend.

 

[Servant31]

I think generally this is a good point OP. I think the rules matter, but that’s also not the culmination of the faith life, and most people are a work in progress (I mean not me I’m perfected…). I heard one priest once who I thought had a really great point. “Jesus said go forth and sin no more but the He gave them something to do” (paraphrased). I also heard a psychologist talking about addiction once, “you replace bad habits with better ones”. So work on loving each other!

 

[Startingcatholic]

Yeah it’s easy to fall into. I know because I have fallen into before. I found the best way to focus on it is a good confessor that really focuses on God’s mercy as well as a devotion to the sacred heart. How your priest makes you feel in confession can often spill out into other parts of your spiritual life. If your priest makes you feel ashamed leaving the confession you will probably (not always but probably) see Jesus as someone looking for faults. But if your priest shows you loving care, similarly you will probably see God as a more merciful savior!

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Yeah, there are definitely some priests out there who are harsh or focused on sin in the confessional.

In my culture they are very much the minority. I get the impression that maybe in other cultures they are more prevalent.

Out of all the confessions in my life I can remember two priests who were harsh, and this would be out of probably 50+ priests.

 

[Glennon_P]

Early in our marriage, Mrs. Glennon made it abundantly clear to me that the first act of physical abuse I committed on her would be the last as a married couple. Divorce would immediately follow. (Not that there’s been any danger of that happening then or now; she just made the point during a conversation where domestic violence came up).

So…I know the ground rules. One episode of domestic violence in my marriage would mean that I had committed a “mortal sin” and it would end my marriage.

However, if avoiding that “mortal sin” is all that I’m doing to build our relationship…we wouldn’t have much of a relationship, would we?

Yes, we need to be aware of not sinning. But that’s just the start of building a relationship with God. Going back to my marriage example, spending time with Mrs. Glennon is a must…doing things for Mrs. Glennon when she needs help is a must…rejoicing with Mrs. Glennon when she is happy and suffering with her when she is sad is a must, if we are to build a strong marriage.

The Ten Commandments tell us what not to do. That’s a start. But it’s not everything.

The Beatitudes tell is what to do.

It’s not either/or. It’s both/and. And we must always strive to do our best in both areas.

 

[Beryllos]

Somewhere and long ago, I read that there are four stages of understanding the law. Let’s see if I remember them right:

• Fear of punishment or revenge
• Fear of losing one’s good reputation
• Appreciation of order; rules and authority as structure
• Desire the good; law of love

I think I’ve met people who follows the laws and commandments for all these reasons.
.

 

[Genesis315]

Out of all the confessions in my life I can remember two priests who were harsh

I can only remember one. I went to confession the day after Ash Wednesday and the priest said “didn’t you hear me say ‘turn away from sin’ yesterday?” Luckily, the screen was there because I’m pretty sure I made this face:

(Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)

 

[RolandThompsonGunner]

I’ve only rarely had a priest be “harsh” per se, but sometimes the priest will explain why whatever I just confessed is wrong and I shouldn’t do it. I’m always thinking “yeah, father, I know. That’s why I just confessed it…”

 

[Genesis315]

As for the OPs question, it is a common and natural first step for those just starting out in the devout life. St. Catherine of Siena’s Dialogue has some good passages about this, calling fear of punishment as a first step “the ordinary call.” This fear is often what motivates a person to first rise up from sin toward the life of grace. It motivates us to cleanse our soul of sin, which gives us a peace of conscience that allows us to perceive and respond to those graces calling us to take the next step. Naturally a place like “Catholic Answers” is going to attract people taking those first steps since they often have many questions.