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Brigh111
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c4csp
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First, purity is possible. The doubts and despair always come from Satan. Unmarried couples need to be vigilant and not put themselves into situations that could lead to serious sin. This may at times seem so against the culture, but as catholics we stand out because we strive to live lives not of this culture. I would suggest you and him pray the rosary together. Maybe when you first meet or talk on phone, you start with the Rosary and ask Mary to protect you both and keep you pure. Then you will be better prepared. Always give to God first and you will be richly blessed. The Rosary is the ultimate weapon to fight off evil and stay pure. Pray it everyday!
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Brigh111
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I have not been very consistent with praying the rosary everyday. My boyfriend has been far more consistent than me, but we have never thought to pray it together. Thank you for the advice
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kapp19
Guest
There are monitoring programs (like Covenant Eyes) that can help with controlling electronic media. You could try using that with each other, even a third party as well. Other than that, you need to put distance between yourselves and the occasion of sin - keep windows and doors open, take cold showers, reduce (or eliminate temporarily) alcohol use around each other, etc. Never sleep in the same room unless absolutely necessary. Laughing more is also helpful, especially in the moment of temptation (rational delight filling the body - so watch more comedy!) as is fasting and other mild discomfort which distracts the body (holding your breath, biting your tongue, etc.)… just getting up and walking around can also give the space and time necessary to get a grip. Exercise also helps, in various ways, also in the moment… distracting and exhausting the body. Instinctively praying a decade of the rosary (meditating especially on one of the sorrowful mysteries) or singing a verse of a pious hymn will also create the time and strength of will you need to do what is right. Meditate also in the moment on the imminence of death, and always ask for the help of the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph… and ask the Lord always for the help you need.
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kapp19
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Also - just to state the obvious - the use of the Sacrament of Confession is absolutely necessary. And then fervent and devout reception of Holy Communion (AFTER confession only!), resolving to do better and better for the Lord and for each other…
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Brigh111
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I go to confession as soon as possible after falling. It’s been tough because we started dating right before Covid. Confession and Eucharist were unreachable at the time. But now my local church has opened back up. Sadly where my boyfriend is, it is still very difficult to get to mass and confession. He still goes when he can. He also told me the priest is very liberal.
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kapp19
Guest
With time, you will see the fruits of your perseverance. (And try the tips I provided - they are well proven.) I will pray and fast for you both.
-K
-K
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Irishmom2
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You and your boyfriend need to each handle your own struggles with purity. Neither of you is the keeper of the other. Nor is it your responsibility to “fix” things for him.And I spoke to my boyfriend about my struggles. He too has these struggles where he is. How can I help myself and also help him?
Of course it is. Single and even married people, young and old are able to keep pure in their state in life. No one is saying it may not be a struggle, but it certainly is possible.sin. But lately I just don’t know if it’s possible to find purity.
Just a hope.
It would be probably easier as you get a little older and been in relationship for more years.
I would said that to be pure, you need to want it. To vow it. It is not easy for everyone and can take time to realized. But it should be your desire and your goal. When you are ready to commit seriousely, take your vow.
I think all is link. You have to be able to control yourself when you are not with him to be able to be in control when you are with him.
I would said, try to find someone who is experienced on chastity and ask for help. Like a religious. You can turn to your priest for advise.
ADD: how do you both see yourselves in the future? Do you envisonned you married? If yes, why are you not engaged yet (for what valid reasons)? If you don’t see yourselves as husband and wife, you have nothing to do together?
It would be probably easier as you get a little older and been in relationship for more years.
I would said that to be pure, you need to want it. To vow it. It is not easy for everyone and can take time to realized. But it should be your desire and your goal. When you are ready to commit seriousely, take your vow.
I think all is link. You have to be able to control yourself when you are not with him to be able to be in control when you are with him.
I would said, try to find someone who is experienced on chastity and ask for help. Like a religious. You can turn to your priest for advise.
ADD: how do you both see yourselves in the future? Do you envisonned you married? If yes, why are you not engaged yet (for what valid reasons)? If you don’t see yourselves as husband and wife, you have nothing to do together?
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