P
petitefleur
Guest
My dear friends, for the next few weeks (until July 24) I am likely to experience tormenting church experiences. Please pray a lot for protection, and for my spiritual life. I will be going to grad school abroad later this month; I need all my strength (physical, emotional, spiritual).
In my birth country, religion is mandated by the state, so each citizen is required to declare a religion on his/her ID card. Schools are segregated based on religion, and people of different beliefs usually find it difficult to register their marriage. So I’ve been seeing lots of cowardice, hypocrisy and ostracism at church. I literally cannot communicate to anyone or get guidance from the clergy (due to the lack of understanding) and all this is wreaking havoc on my emotional and spiritual life. I go to Mass simply because it’s my duty, but it’s so tormenting since there’s no “sense of community” anymore.
A part of this has to do with my background, I was educated abroad and also worked abroad for a long time. When there’s some injustice I always felt compelled to write and talk about it (I’m a writer and teacher). Here, every time I write or try to communicate, confusion, fear and ostracism often ensues, including from fellow “Christians” (very few of which are so by “choice”, since there are only 6 religions to choose from, and due to the atmosphere). I was received into the Catholic Church 4 years ago, and my faith means a lot to me. Suddenly being unable to talk or write about anything, including about spiritual issues, is somehow damaging for me. I can control my behavior during the day but find myself unable to sleep at night. When I travel for short trips abroad (just as a tourist, without any specific purpose or any friends/relatives at that place), I still feel “rejected” by “my own country”, I feel homeless and alone in a hotel room. Besides I’m the kind of person who likes to write and think, not sightsee, and at this point I’m really passionate about certain national topics that I CANNOT write or talk about without causing lots of alarm (although I don’t write in an incendiary manner). I need lots of wisdom and strength, and good health as well as regular sleep.
I miss the sense of community I used to have at Church. Even our Triune God, the Credo, the Church as the Body of Christ–all this implies a relationship, communication, a sense of community. To be deprived of that is really too much for me. Please remember me in your daily prayers and ask your local communities to pray for me as well. Thanks a lot and may the Lord bless you abundantly!
maria therese
In my birth country, religion is mandated by the state, so each citizen is required to declare a religion on his/her ID card. Schools are segregated based on religion, and people of different beliefs usually find it difficult to register their marriage. So I’ve been seeing lots of cowardice, hypocrisy and ostracism at church. I literally cannot communicate to anyone or get guidance from the clergy (due to the lack of understanding) and all this is wreaking havoc on my emotional and spiritual life. I go to Mass simply because it’s my duty, but it’s so tormenting since there’s no “sense of community” anymore.
A part of this has to do with my background, I was educated abroad and also worked abroad for a long time. When there’s some injustice I always felt compelled to write and talk about it (I’m a writer and teacher). Here, every time I write or try to communicate, confusion, fear and ostracism often ensues, including from fellow “Christians” (very few of which are so by “choice”, since there are only 6 religions to choose from, and due to the atmosphere). I was received into the Catholic Church 4 years ago, and my faith means a lot to me. Suddenly being unable to talk or write about anything, including about spiritual issues, is somehow damaging for me. I can control my behavior during the day but find myself unable to sleep at night. When I travel for short trips abroad (just as a tourist, without any specific purpose or any friends/relatives at that place), I still feel “rejected” by “my own country”, I feel homeless and alone in a hotel room. Besides I’m the kind of person who likes to write and think, not sightsee, and at this point I’m really passionate about certain national topics that I CANNOT write or talk about without causing lots of alarm (although I don’t write in an incendiary manner). I need lots of wisdom and strength, and good health as well as regular sleep.
I miss the sense of community I used to have at Church. Even our Triune God, the Credo, the Church as the Body of Christ–all this implies a relationship, communication, a sense of community. To be deprived of that is really too much for me. Please remember me in your daily prayers and ask your local communities to pray for me as well. Thanks a lot and may the Lord bless you abundantly!
maria therese