L
lynnehelen
Guest
I finally got up the nerve to e-mail the local English priest with whom I had had past dealings which ended on a note of embarassment, for me, for him? there was a possibly misdirected e-mail that could have caused him embarassment and I was fearful about it. That was some time ago. I addressed the issue with him as best as I could and as I pressed the send button at around 2:38 a.m. (?) Catholic radio in the background announced: “Christ is risen.” I don’t know as much as I need to aboout the progress of the Easter season, I keep trying to inform my son but I don’t know, myself.
I prayed for a special Easter and got one, as I did get to sleep and I believe there is an Easter vigil, I konw there is a sunrise service, so I missed that but it was okay to stay up and I woke up in time to hear “7 good reasons to be Catholic,” to which I listened closely, which is difficult for me, even though it was compelling enough to keep my attention, and it got into my memory; and then an interview with Mark ?, “Bible Geek,” about his new book about the Lord’s prayer, which gave me *great *insight about my son and greater confidence (my father said something about “breach of trust” when the drug issue first came up three years ago which worked through the power of suggestion to destroy my relationship with him.)
That’s the torn part; still, in this holy season, in the midst of dire dilemmas with DH and DS, psychologist, lawyers, and maybe having to go back to the courthouse tomorrow if I can get it straightened out with my lawyers what went down last Thursday and whether to trust my psychologist, who is sometimes influenced by my husband, and remove both the restraining order, which is already violated, and the no contact order, the violation of which could bring legal charges against me, as my not-so-dear “friend” J., my husband’s close friend, kindly informed my son, fuelling his animosity where that was NOT what was needed (she was the one who gave him pot in the first place and I confronted her about it in front of the cop she was talking to outside my house after the arrest took place…)
At the top of the list today, while feeling gratitude and joy for God’s gift to me and to us all,
after praise and worship is to figure my husband. Try to get it straight. What is he and “us” really about and where does it need to go? Scared to death last night he would follow J.'s lead and call the cops on me and called into radio station prayer line in tears.Trusting in the mystery and sanctity of this holiest time of year to move things along in my thought and practical issues.
But I am still ill physically from the stress of the courtroom drama and the 24 ordeal of replacing my meds while having to go without them, I would love to get dressed and go out for a walk but my neighbors scare me and the pool is getting dirty so don’t even want to go out in the (small) back yard.
Don’t know how to go today.