Total confusion over homosexuality and the existence of God

[Faustina93]

I’m an 18 year old girl from an extremely traditional Catholic family, and I am attracted to other women. I have been seriously conflicted in figuring out what I believe and it’s driving me CRAZY. I’m stuck in a “damned-if-I-do, damned-if-I-don’t” place right now. For any given situation, I can rationalize each side and put myself in any point of view. This is usually considered a great quality, but it only leads me to total confusion and indecisiveness.

Because of my upbringing, I feel like I will never comfortably decide upon a stance regarding homosexuality. I can understand my parents’ view that sex is a sacred act from God and should only be traditional guy-girl vanilla sex, nothing else. On the other hand, I can’t stop thinking “What if it just doesn’t matter? Maybe humans just create these meaningless rituals and stipulations”. I can’t even decide whether I believe in God or not. Or if I do believe in God, I can’t decide whether the religious institutions on Earth reflect what His teaching would be or are a product of humanity’s needs and reasonings. Or whether the Bible is God’s word or just morality laws established by humans who sincerely thought God had inspired them.

I know what I WANT to be true. I want it to be okay for me to love and cherish another women, but I have no idea whether it is right or misguided. I know that what I want can’t always be what is right. I have listened to the arguments of people on every side, and all I do is ricochet around until my head hurts. Do you have any advice for people going through the whole belief crisis? I have doubts in general religion, so where do I look if I don’t have very good faith in the Bible, the Church, or humanity? I feel like I will never come to terms with any set of beliefs without having some seriously persistent guilt or doubt. I have been the most comfortable as an agnostic, but still full of that what-if fear

 

[karebear92]

My only advice is to pray that God will give your spirit the strength to overcome this obstacle in your life. Do not let your SSA define you. It is just an obstacle. I do not know what it is like to suffer from SSA, but I do know how hard it can be to bear a cross. That is what your SSA is; a cross. My cross is medical disabilities. You may feel different because of your SSA just as I often times feel different because of the limitations my medical problems cause. The best way to get through them is to accept them as a gift. It is God saying: “You are strong enough to get through this.” He would not allow it if you were unable to overcome it and live a faithful life so that you may be able to spend eternity with Him in paradise.

It is perfectly natural for you to wish that acting on your feelings is okay, just as it is natural for a blind person to wish they could see or a deaf person to hear, but you must overcome the temptations. If you continue to pray and follow God’s laws your spirit will grow and the obstacle will be easier to overcome. Do not follow a religion based off of your own beliefs. Do not follow your feelings that give you immediate gratification, for eternity in paradise is much greater than any gratification you may experience on Earth.

As for thinking that maybe God isn’t real, the best remedy is to do some research on the history of the Church. Men gave up their lives to preach the word to all. It was not as if one crazy man fabricated a story, many men told the same story and died as a result. Please understand, the Lord made a sacrifice to lower himself to human form so that you may know the truth. He revealed himself to us. He gave everything for us. He lives within us. Jesus loves you!

I will pray for you.

 

[svid2]

Let’s all pray for those dealing with SSA. The Lord loves all of us.

 

[Jim_Dandy]

Please read this article from the Catholic Medical Association on same sex attraction.

narth.com/docs/hope.html

 

[Ahimsa]

Google “Eve Tushnet”. Here’s a good place to start.

 

[Elixir]

I cannot imagine the difficulty of being a young person in today’s sex soaked culture, especially since this culture is in direct opposition to the teachings of the Church on so many matters.

I will say this: an attraction should not and does not define your entire personhood; love is more than mere emotions (which, like chemistry, can be volatile and explosive and unsafe). Love is an act of the will where one desires the highest and best for the sake of the beloved.

The highest and best for anyone is the beatific vision or communion with God. So in that sense it is perfectly good to love another. Indeed, we are called to love others as we love ourselves.

But, and this is hard to accept and understand when you’re 18 (I know…I once was 18), this love does not include a physical union with everyone we wish just because we desire it.