Trading in new van for old anything...help!

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wifeNmom.02

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2003 Chrystler Voyager

We have about $5,000 in neg. equity

We live from paycheck to paycheck

We want to get out payments down and insurance down. It’s high!

I want to stop working, (5pm-11pm each weeknight & my husband works 7:30am to 4:30pm.

We just bought a (modest) house (with God’s goodness through parents help)

We are in credit card debt from college 20K(me before I met and fell in love with hubby) and school loans 15K. As far as my credit cards, 3 years ago of mostly steady payments I owed almost the same amount!!!

We have 2 yr old and 8 mo. old they stay at home moring with mommy and evening with daddy.

My parish priest said bankrupcy (credit cards)is okay if the debt is too much strain on your. I called into the catholic anwers apologist line & was told if we can we should pay it back. I called the Dr. is in (I know that may sound silly) and was told it’s too big a strain on a new family and I should listen to my husband who says I should file for bankruptcy. I talked to Catholic Answers and was told that God would’nt want me to live like this. My father who sadly still has the biggest effect on me said (You have a good job…Don’t you dare file bandrupcy, you are stealing. My dad is a good man.)

I WANT TO BE HOME WITH MY FAMILY! :crying: I AM TIRED OF RUSHING ALL THE TIME. I WANT TO SAVOR THE TIME WITH MY CHILDREN WHILE THEY ARE BABIES, THEY NEED THERE MOMMY. MY HUSBAND ❤️ NEEDS GOOD MEALS. Okay, so just wanting some ideas and PRAYERS PLEASE! :gopray:
please i know that there is only so much that we can do, so i guess i’m just also venting/complaining a bit.
 
Gah. I am so sorry.

Before you think about filing anything, you should talk to a lawyer. I am not a bankruptcy lawyer, BUT I do not think your student loan debt is dischargable. That means that you would have to pay it back, even if you declared bankruptcy.

I am the wrong person to ask about the morality of declaring bankruptcy. I don’t know what Catholics think about it. As a lawyer, I think it’s there for a reason, and this might be one of those reasons.

There is a middle ground, though. Try calling the Catholic Charities in your diocese and see if they have a credit counseling service. Some of them do. A GOOD credit counseling service can help you consolidate your credit card payments (what’s the interest on those, 18%? 21%?), work out a deferment on your student loans, and figure out what to do about the house and the van.

If you want, you can shoot me a private message, and I can see if I can do anything to help.

Because there’s really no question that you need some kind of help. You sound like you and your family are in over your heads, and this is not the sort of thing that gets better by ignoring it.

Good luck.

Quin
 
God Be with you. My wife and I went through the same thing acouple of years ago. Bankrupcy is not the way. Get with a Christian Financial Service which will help you deal with your creditors. Then they will teach you how to manage your money. Getting out of dept is a lot harder than getting into dept. IT WILL BE PAINFUL. But it will be worth it. Imagine the day you do not have to fear the phone ringing.
No offence to your pastor, but declairing bankrupcy is not of God. If we encour debt it is our obligation as Christians to pay the dept.
If you want to drop out of the work place … great. HOWEVER, there are alot of jobs you can do at home.
You will also be teching your children a VERY valuable lession, Don’t play if you can’t pay.
I’m sorry. I don’t mean to lecture, but I am angry that your pastor would tell you to “cop out” and declair bankrupcy rather than try to get you help and/or counseling.
We will be praying for you.
 
When I get in tight spots (and we ALL do) I wonder what I would advise my children to do if they were in my situation. That often helps. That and prayer.

God bless and Godspeed.
 
I used to work for a lawyer who handled bankruptcies, and frankly, I think they’re over-used. They should be for extreme emergencies and catastrophic difficulties; too many people actually apply for bankruptcy relief more than once. Also, some lawyers are also not as scrupulous as others and may not give you the most MORAL advice; after all, it’s good money for them and it’s paid (in Ch. 13) through the Bankruptcy Court as part of the Plan.

Before you resort to bankruptcy, I would strongly recommend you talk with a credit manager, as another poster recommended. They can sometimes have your interest frozen while you pay back the loans.

I also recommend you check a couple of books out from your local library: The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dczyczn (pron. “decision”) – they provide not only some very practical ways of cutting your cost of living, they’re also a very refreshing antidote to the more acquisitive attitudes of our culture.

Good luck to you, and God bless you!
 
Point One: I should have said credit counsellor in my previous post, not credit manager.

Point Two: Be very, very careful in disposing of your new van. The value of the vehicle may be lower than your loan balance, in which case you would still be obligated to pay the deficiency balance, same as happens in repossessions.

Finally, you may not be able to quit working as soon as you want to, but you can begin immediately to implement some life changes that will take you to that very noble goal sooner, rather than later.

Been there, done that, too embarrassed to take the t-shirt… drop me a PM, too, if you want to talk, okay?
 
Yes you know thats all good advice.
My children are so dear to me, I want to be an example for them to look and say, you know look what mom and dad did. wow

thanks
 
Dave Ramsey is a Christian financial advisor who specializes in debt… I believe his website is Daveramsey.com

He has a radio show that is on primarily in the South. He’s excellent.

His advice is basically to cut up your credit cards and move on from there. Pay off your debts starting with the lowest balance and move on to the highest balance. That’s different than most who say you should attack the highest interest rate first. He thinks it’s more important to build moment in getting rid of debt.

If you would stop working, could your husband make more money working extra in a second job?

We as a society are focused on wants and not on needs. Myself included.

My wife and I just had our first child and are rearranging our priorities. We bought an older Volvo stationwagon rather than a new car, figuring that over the life of the car, we saved one year of her salary. What are you spending money on each month? Things we consider necesities are not… Internet Service, Cell Phones, eating out, cable, newspapers, Starbucks… my parents would just laugh at.

Pray. Cut your credit cards up. Stop buying. Start paying. Plan. Plan. Plan. God bless.
 
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buckeyedennis:
His advice is basically to cut up your credit cards and move on from there. Pay off your debts starting with the lowest balance and move on to the highest balance. That’s different than most who say you should attack the highest interest rate first. He thinks it’s more important to build moment in getting rid of debt.
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I think most people agree that getting rid of the credit card debt is key, simply because the interest rates devour you. Often, the best way to do this is to get a consolidation loan that rolls all your credit card debt into one loan with a much lower interest rate. The lower interest rate allows you to make headway against the debt, instead of just treading water.
 
it was said before but i’ll say it again (because i have been where you are minus the children) your student loans must be repaid, which means bankruptcy won’t work (you actually signed a promissary note stating this when you received the loans). you can talk to a credit counseling group (check with the better business bureau before going with any of them though as some are better than others) and they can help get your credit card interest down and maybe wiped out. then i would just say that your husband will have to wait to get “good meals” and you will have to keep juggling the kids until you can afford to stop working. it will eventually be a valuable lesson to your children and your neighbors and maybe even an good witness to the creditors.
 
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