Traditional Catholics and Sex

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salveregina_phoenix

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I am going to ask a question that is both awkward and difficult for me and I apologize in advance for offending anyone.

Brief background. I am a married mother of one child. My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. We are still very passionate about each other and we enjoy marital intimacy on a fairly regular basis.

The trouble I am having is that it is considered a mortal sin if my husband touches me intimately to help me achieve climax. My parish priest’s say that sex is only for procreation and not for pleasure. Okay - now that’s all well and good when you are young but we are not. We are in our early 50’s. We are not going to get pregnant. It would be great but it ain’t going to happen. That being said, do we become abstinent and should my husband stop doing things to help me?

Again, I am so sorry for the TMI but I have a hard time accepting we cannot express love for each other physically and the possibility we are committing mortal sins.

Please help. If there is a priest out there, I would especially love to hear from you.

Thank you.
 
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You are allowed to enjoy intimacy with your husband. It is not a sin. You are fulfilling the articles of procreation so to speak, within the acts of intimacy. No seed spilled etc.
 
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Intimacy has the, as its, purpose, both the procreative and unitive aspects, are proper. They are also intertwines. Yes, continue to express your love for one another and God as always.
 
Why is the husband allowed to make the wife climax outside of intercourse but the wife cannot make the husband climax outside of intercourse?
 
All content should be PG. Please amend this post OP.
 
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You will hear different opinions on this. I also think it depends a lot on actual intent of the act. I.E. is it foreplay or no?

Is it lustful or done with love? etc.

Perhaps you might be able to contact the Theology of the Body Institute and ask them your question? http://tobinstitute.org/contact-page/

God Bless
 
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Because if the man orgasms outside of intercourse, there’s no chance of conception. On the other hand, conception isn’t inhibited by a woman climaxing before intercourse.
 
also, a significan of proportion of women just don’t climax during intercourse.

to the op, the church has never taught what your priest is saying, I know there are many who hold this view and have done so over the ages, but it’s not catholic teaching
 
It is NOT Church teaching that your husband cannot help you climax. 100% NOT.

The priest who said sexual intimacy between spouses is for procreation only is in error. It is for both procreation AND unity of spouses.

And no, it is not a sin to have intercourse when past child bearing years.
 
Your husband can help you climax as long as the intercourse is completed afterwards. This is discussed in Christopher West’s book Good News About Sex and Marriage.
 
I would look it up in that book and post here but I lent my copy to someone. Christopher West is Theology of the Body pro. He says that if the woman climaxes outside of intercourse altogether, it’s essentially mutual masturbation at that point.
 
There isn’t an explicit Catechism reference for every detail.
 
KingDavid said:
Is there a ccc reference?
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Catechism
2362 "The acts in marriage by which the intimate and chaste union of the spouses takes place are noble and honorable; the truly human performance of these acts fosters the self-giving they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude."145 Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure:
The Creator himself . . . established that in the [generative] function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment. They accept what the Creator has intended for them. At the same time, spouses should know how to keep themselves within the limits of just moderation.146
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The US Bishops website has an article that references some helpful books:

www.foryourmarriage.org

Help for Empty Nesters

The children have left home. You\'re physically and emotionally tired, and perhaps feeling disconnected from your spouse. Can you really reinvent your marriage for the second half? Two well-known marriage educators offer some concrete tips and encouragement. More →
www.foryourmarriage.org www.foryourmarriage.org
 
From what I understand, he can “help you out” with his hands as long as, in the end, seed is still properly ejected into the woman.
 
Start said:
That’s too vague to help.
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Well, in general, sexual pleasure obtained while the spouses are separated, lacks the unitive meaning of sex and also the procreative meaning.
 
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