Traditionally Yours

[jlw]

From lashawnbarber.com/index.php

Traditionally Yours

Whenever I tell men that I’m a “traditional” woman, they laugh. Yeah, right! They see a modern, outspoken, ambitious, professional woman supporting herself and taking risks.

They assume I’ve chosen this life over that of wife and mother. I explain to them that since I’m unmarried, I must support myself. Who else is going to do it? With no children, I don’t have to worry about starving them if my entrepreneurial ventures fail, so I can afford the risk. And my ambition is an effort to make a contribution to the world and create something of value.

The kind of man I’d marry would want his wife to stay home and raise his children instead committing them to the institutionalized “care” of people who couldn’t possibly care for them as much as I could or know them half as well, while he works outside the home. My roles would be godly wife, partner, homemaker, teacher (for home schooling), and whatever else God assigned. If I expect my husband to be the main breadwinner, he’ll have certain expectations of me.

Too often women say they want to be treated a certain way by men but consider reciprocal treatment “old-fashioned” or beneath them or contrary to feminism. Hogwash. Throw that out with the rest of the trash.

I was delighted to read another good article by Darryl James, “Chivalry & Tradition”:

[F]eminism taught women that displays of chivalry were, in many ways demeaning and condescending. The new idea was that since men did not hold doors for each other, why would they do so for any other equal? The image of the chivalrous man protecting the weaker “damsel in distress” did not fit well with the evolving image of the woman as equal, strong and independent. Strangely, many people today who speak of chivalry and tradition frequently fail to spell out the woman’s obligations during the medieval institution, and in many ways romanticize yesterday’s chivalry far deeper than the post-Crusade poets. The newer romanticized version has recreated the woman’s role, so that she is far less than weak or in distress, but still deserving of favorable treatment, specifically when it comes to who will pay for dinner.

In short, after an arduous program of attacking and seeking to re-write both chivalry and tradition, today’s so-called “modern” woman is now attacking men for moving away from so-called “old-fashioned” standards. Now, let me bring this thing home: The truly sad part for African Americans is that neither the historic nor the romanticized versions of tradition debated in most of today’s open forums actually belong to us.

The whole article is refreshing, especially coming from a black man. About my marital state, while I love to write and hope I never have to give it up, it would be a distant second if I were married with children. If I managed to squeeze in a tiny bit of writing time, it would be icing on an already rich cake.

 

[Fashina86]

jlw:

From lashawnbarber.com/index.php

Traditionally Yours

Whenever I tell men that I’m a “traditional” woman, they laugh. Yeah, right! They see a modern, outspoken, ambitious, professional woman supporting herself and taking risks.

They assume I’ve chosen this life over that of wife and mother. I explain to them that since I’m unmarried, I must support myself. Who else is going to do it? With no children, I don’t have to worry about starving them if my entrepreneurial ventures fail, so I can afford the risk. And my ambition is an effort to make a contribution to the world and create something of value.

The kind of man I’d marry would want his wife to stay home and raise his children instead committing them to the institutionalized “care” of people who couldn’t possibly care for them as much as I could or know them half as well, while he works outside the home. My roles would be godly wife, partner, homemaker, teacher (for home schooling), and whatever else God assigned. If I expect my husband to be the main breadwinner, he’ll have certain expectations of me.

Too often women say they want to be treated a certain way by men but consider reciprocal treatment “old-fashioned” or beneath them or contrary to feminism. Hogwash. Throw that out with the rest of the trash.

I was delighted to read another good article by Darryl James, “Chivalry & Tradition”:

The whole article is refreshing, especially coming from a black man. About my marital state, while I love to write and hope I never have to give it up, it would be a distant second if I were married with children. If I managed to squeeze in a tiny bit of writing time, it would be icing on an already rich cake.

That is soooo cool! I am glad that there are “traditionalists” out there. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, yet still want to a home-mother with many children of my own. Traditional is good and brings back many of the values that have been lost!