Thank very kindly to all for the replies so far.
A little more information:
I am under temporary vows (coming to the end of second theology) but they expire in July. I could theoretically renew for another year, see how things continue, and then ask to be released mid-year, but that isn’t something I’m personally comfortable with. My words of commitment should mean something.
Many of the issues in my current circumstance relate to differences in pastoral and theological perspectives in my community. I’ve never self-described as liberal or conservative, but the bottom line is that faithfulness to the Church I serve is important to me. I wish I could say there was a greater diversity of perspectives among those I share this life and ministry with, but I’ve come to feel like dissent is the only way to get any real “cred” in the local community. I have exhausted myself spiritually and emotionally trying to be one of only a pocket full of guys who won’t compromise.
I have been working with my spiritual director on this; I am just beginning to take in some other thoughts and perspectives to enrich my discernment. I don’t feel a connection with other orders I’ve checked out, and honestly, it has been a bit of a tough decision between this community and my home diocese from the vocational discernment get-go. So going back to the diocese isn’t really a new idea for me in that sense.
Thanks again, and blessings to all.
Thanks for the additional information, Brother. Well I know that facing insurmountable opposition is often good cause for leaving an institute. It’s of course necessary to be obedient to your spiritual director, and to remember always that the devil continues to place obstacles in our path to spiritual perfection. I would advise taking your quandary now as an intention to every Mass, every office, every Rosary, every visit to the Blessed Sacrament. I would furthermore make this a prime issue to meditate upon on your next retreat or day of recollection. A lengthier retreat–always necessary, I understand, before any vows–might do well to lead you to a decision.
But let us assume for a moment that this is actually God calling you away from this order. I think that the biggest canonical question here is whether you’ve been tonsured a cleric yet or not. If you have, then the bishop of the diocese you hope to serve will have to incardinate you (and your order’s provincial consequently excardinate you). As I’m sure you’re aware, every cleric must be under a lawful superior, whether a bishop or a religious superior.
You’re also going to want to talk to the bishop about seminary. Will you be allowed to continue at your present seminary? If you must transfer, how would you go about that? Would you have to retake any classes due to differences in the curriculum (however modest these generally are)? Will there be any lapse of time of gap between finishing studies this year and resuming?
You’d also want to consider what you’d do if there is a lapse. However, if you contact the bishop soon enough, he or his staff might be able to find a place for you teaching at a diocesan school for a year while you’re waiting. In all, though, as your formators have an excellent opinion of you, I doubt you’d have much difficulty so long as you obey the promptings of the Spirit.
God bless you and guide you, Brother.
