Treatment of single parents?

[twf]

Yet, practically speaking, isn’t that what a single parent is?

Whether widowed, individually chose to adopt, elected not to have an abortion, or divorced with a decree of nullity.

Not necessarily. A single parent could be divorced but without a decree of nullity…and not available for remarriage.

 

[twf]

When talking with our Protestant brethren, they feel welcomed with open arms in their church community and at peace

The grass is always greener… I’ve known many people who have had serious issues at their Protestant churches. My aunt stopped attending church decades ago when she divorced her abusive husband. The (Protestant) church marginalized and shamed her for leaving her husband.

 

[Lifeisbeautiful3]

A single parent could be divorced but without a decree of nullity…and not available for remarriage.

Many would contend that person is still sacramentally married, not a single parent - rather, someone with incredibly complicated scheduling complexity.

 

[jrgmercado]

I haven’t seen any mistreatment of single, divorced or widowed people with or without children in my diocese.

 

[tafan2]

I must live you n a bubble. Have known of women having kids out of marraige or getting pregnant before a quick marraige, and have literally never seen them shunned, or refused baptism. Yes, there is often some uncharitable gossip, but publiccly shunning? Now, therre are Catholic high schools that expel pregnant students, perhaps that is what is being referred to.

 

[angell1]

sorry should have been a bit more specific, I mean the people with these opinions believe there should be some kind of societal consequence or punishment, as in, it’s not enough to just say its wrong, hence the idea of shunning or taking the child away, EtC…

 

[13pollitos]

The Catholic Church has not in my lifetime frowned on baptizing the children of single parents just because the parent was unmarried, or had gotten pregnant out of wedlock.

I agree that the Catholic Church has not, but I have known Catholic priests that do. And the pastor of a parish does make the decision when it comes to the sacraments at his parish. It is unfortunate that theses things have happened.

By the 80s, any stigma attached to unwed pregnancy had largely disappeared. As I said, girls in my Catholic high school who got pregnant not only finished school but would be bringing their baby to school events, openly.

This was not the case everywhere. A very close friend had a baby in 1993 and was expelled from her catholic high school when the administration found out she was pregnant. Her boyfriend continued on the football team without punishment from the school. She ended up graduating from public school and is now a successful professional, but her son is being raised by the paternal grandmother.

A priest will sometimes refuse to baptize the child if he feels the parent will not make a sincere effort to raise the child in the Church. He could get that impression from things the parent says or does or from the parent’s lifestyle or habits or lack of religious practice. Occasionally, individual priests might also make a wrong judgment based on their own biases or opinions, that doesn’t comport with the teaching of the Church.

Yes. This is where the issue comes from. Sometimes priests have their own set of prejudices. When this happens it often influences their decisions. The harm it does to Catholics is immense.

It just strikes me as incredibly misogynistic. Men didn’t have the same stigma / issue. A young girl commits one sin one time (potentially), and must be publicly derided and shamed for the rest of her life…

Yes, this is what bothered me in the case of my friend that I mentioned. She was like a little sister to me growing up. It devastated her.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I agree that the Catholic Church has not, but I have known Catholic priests that do. And the pastor of a parish does make the decision when it comes to the sacraments at his parish. It is unfortunate that theses things have happened.

I agree that we can find priests doing all kinds of things that seem unfair, unjust and wrong. However, we also have to allow for the fact that in some cases the priest might actually be correct.
It’s never nice to tell anybody “no” but at the same time I’ve heard stories from priests about kids who are baptized Catholic and then when the priest meets the kids a few years later, like at a Catholic funeral, the kids don’t know one single Catholic prayer, not even the Hail Mary or the Sign of the Cross. I’m not saying a single parent is more likely to end up not truly raising their kids Catholic, but there are likely some single parents who are not practicing the faith themselves and were refused for that reason, but will tell others it’s because Father X didn’t like that they were a single parent instead of facing up to the truth that it’s because they themselves are not a good practicing Catholic.

In any event, if you’re a member of the Church you’re going to encounter some priests who clash with you or who are far less than your personal ideal image of a priest and you need to get past that and realize there’s more than one priest in the world and also realistically think about whether any of the priest’s concerns are actually valid.