Tricky Situation

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_AnnoDomini

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Hello all! I have a question about what the right thing to do is in a rather tricky dilemma. Here it is:

Let’s say I have a close friend, we’ll call him A. His parents are fairly well-known motivational speakers/influencers in our city, they talk a lot about marriage and how to raise kids and stuff like that. However, behind closed doors they are extremely abusive toward both A and his siblings, and I’ve witnessed firsthand how much their abuse has affected him. The parents try to keep their image clean to the point of punishing their children whenever they make minor mistakes, you know the type. Anyway, A’s parents are about to close a deal that would allow them to speak at a pretty major event in our area. Of course, A and I don’t want this, as we know we’ll that these people are not only hypocrites but active abusers (even worse, they cater to an Evangelical audience, and hide behind their religion to deflect criticism). We’re thinking of doing something about the situation, but what should we do? Would it be a sin if we contacted the event organizers and told them about what was happening behind closed doors? I’d think that it would be a good thing to do, as the pursuit of the truth is a good thing, right?
 
How old are you, how old is A?

Physical and sexual abuse are crimes and need to be reported to your state’s child protective service hotline.
Emotional abuse is harder to establish, but it’s also reportable.

If you’re minors? Do you have a trusted adult you can confide in like a teacher or youth pastor?
 
A is eighteen, I’m seventeen. Both recent high school graduates. A was smart and actually has multiple recorded instances of his parents, especially his mother, calling him useless, a mistake, etc. A isn’t particularly religious (he kind of has a bad view of religion based on how his parents act).
 
As you are a minor, and they are not your parents, I don’t think that you should be doing anything except supporting your friend.

If your friend is being abused, he should report it. If there are minor children at home experiencing any abuse as well, it should be reported.

Contacting the event organizers most likely will not change anything, and may in fact make the situation at home worse. Have you spoken to your own parents about the situation?
 
A should go to the legal authorities. Police or Social Works or whoever handles domestic and childhood abuse cases where you live. Report the abuse to the authorities delegated by law to deal with it.
You could perhaps go with him to offer moral support while he makes the report.

Also report the abuse of A’s siblings. They need help too, and A is more likely to get useful results if they testify.
 
And A’s younger siblings? And if these parents truly are emotionally abusive?

This should be reported to the appropriate civil authorities if it is reported. Not the event organizers.
 
OP doesn’t say how old the siblings are.

Yes, if OP really thinks emotional abuse is occuring - tell the authorities. But not the event organizers.
 
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Your friend who is abused can go to a trusted adult, as said above, and report abuse to the authorities. He would be wise to seek counseling to help heal the emotional trauma.

To be brutally honest, folks hiring an Evangelical Speaker for their event are not likely to cancel because the speakers hear
_AnnoDomini said:
multiple recorded instances of his parents, especially his mother, calling him useless, a mistake, etc
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If this is the extent of the abuse, I know it hurts and there needs to be forgiveness and healing. On the other hand, it is a rare parent who has never said a harsh word to their kids. Parents are broken people searching for holiness just like every other person.

Praying for you all!
 
An 18-year-old should be contacting the civil authorities on behalf of himself and his siblings.

As said above, the event organizers are unlikely to believe that abuse is occurring, and even if they did, they aren’t going to want to get involved and will likely write A off as a troubled child.
 
_AnnoDomini said:
Would it be a sin if we contacted the event organizers and told them about what was happening behind closed doors?
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I wonder what would happen if you did - even if they cancelled the event, they’d have to tell A’s parents why (i.e. because you or A came to them with the recordings). What would happen next? I don’t believe the situation at A’s house would get better; it might get more hostile. More abuse for A and his siblings.

Is there a trusted adult (like your own parents, as Irishmom2 mentioned) that you can talk to about the abuse?
 
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Any physical abuse or just some name calling? I was called useless and a mistake more times than I could count. Look at big picture. Is he well taken care of? It appears he has shelter, food, clothing, etc. However, you did say he is 18 so he is an adult and is free to leave and go live on his own. This is the kicker, he is an adult not a child.
 
A is a legal adult. If actual abuse is going on, A should contact CPS on behalf of any siblings. You, not having evidence other than A telling you stuff, should stay out of it. A calling whoever to get his parents fired from whatever is just a he said/she said situation and should be avoided. At the end of the day, actively undermining his parents’ source of income will hurt A and his siblings. Making an active CPS case is the real way to go.
 
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