Trouble Dealing with Mother

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Alright, I have a slight problem on my hands. The other day I was speaking with my mother. She said that she 100% believes in Birth Control. She also said that she has never read the Bible in her life, and that she doesn’t plan too. She says if all of this makes her in a sinner in the eyes of the Church, then so be it. She doesn’t believe in confession. I feel like she just goes to Church on Sunday because I go.

She knows that I am currently applying to become a priest for the diocese, and it bothers her immensely.

What makes it worse, is that she said to me the other day the following: “If you think that because your going to become a priest, that I am suddenly going to change my views so they’re inline with the Catholic Church, then you’re sadly mistaken.”

This makes me so sad. How do I deal with this? What would you recommend?
 
gospelofjohn said:
Alright, I have a slight problem on my hands. The other day I was speaking with my mother. She said that she 100% believes in Birth Control. She also said that she has never read the Bible in her life, and that she doesn’t plan too. She says if all of this makes her in a sinner in the eyes of the Church, then so be it. She doesn’t believe in confession. I feel like she just goes to Church on Sunday because I go.

She knows that I am currently applying to become a priest for the diocese, and it bothers her immensely.

What makes it worse, is that she said to me the other day the following: “If you think that because your going to become a priest, that I am suddenly going to change my views so they’re inline with the Catholic Church, then you’re sadly mistaken.”

This makes me so sad. How do I deal with this? What would you recommend?
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Pray for her. When she says these things, just say “I’m sorry you feel that way.” You can’t force her to believe in the Church’s teachings, unfortunately.
 
Pray for her and commit her to the Lord. This reminds me of a friend’s story. The entire family was Catholic but wasn’t really practicing the faith. When one of the daughters became a religious, she brought the rest of the family back to the church which was really quite miraculous. Don’t give up hope, allow the Holy Spirit to work in her!
 
gospelofjohn said:
She knows that I am currently applying to become a priest for the diocese, and it bothers her immensely.

What makes it worse, is that she said to me the other day the following: “If you think that because your going to become a priest, that I am suddenly going to change my views so they’re inline with the Catholic Church, then you’re sadly mistaken.”
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Does she honestly think that your decision to discern a priestly vocation is all about her? She wants to take your focus off God and put it on her: How dare you have the nerve to stand in a position of authority over her? Really?

Your decision is not all about her. You need to remind yourself to make your decision independent of her and her lousy attitude. You’re trying to discern the course God has intended for your life, and whether that course includes the blessed opportunity to serve His people by ministering to them.

God gave His people free will. That includes the right to decide for themselves whether or not to accept His love and return it. That joyfully includes God’s choice to let you discern to walk by His side bringing Him to them and them to Him. That painfully includes God’s choice to let those who insist on walking away from Him do just that. You mother appears to have chosen to walk away; she doesn’t know His word and isn’t interested in hearing it.

Do not let her rebellion drag you away with her.
 
Maybe she thinks that if she belittles your faith enough you will change your mind about becoming a priest and she’ll get to keep you forever? Mothers do bizzare things when their children become independent.
 
My advice is to just let the Holy Spirit work in her life.

Pray. Be there for her when she needs you.

Don’t push, even though she wants to push your buttons.

It’s your choice to be a priest.

She might be disappointed that she won’t have any grand kids from you. It’s a huge deal to the grandmas when their kid’s babies are born.
 
Your mother is a difficult person and your challenge will be to forgive her and pray for her. She is disobedient and seems to be quite proud of the fact. But perhaps she is also frightened by her actions and challenged and threatened by your very different perspective on the Catholic faith. You are becoming a priest and she may exhibit some passive aggressive behaviors since she seems to not approve. Hang in there because she will have to deal with it in her own way. Time has a way of changing things and she may soften in time. She is very fortunate to have you to pray for her. Be gentle yet firm with your convictions. God Bless.👍
 
gospelofjohn said:
What makes it worse, is that she said to me the other day the following: “If you think that because your going to become a priest, that I am suddenly going to change my views so they’re inline with the Catholic Church, then you’re sadly mistaken.”

This makes me so sad. How do I deal with this? What would you recommend?
Click to expand...
I would take what she said at face value. At this point she has no desire to change her views and respect that. Keep discerning if the priesthood is your vocation without her opinion influencing you.

Yes, it will sadden you. However…following Christ does mean we pick up our crosses. This is not the first time you will be saddened by family or friends for doing God’s will.
 
Handle this with patience and mercy. If you are intent of becoming a Priest you will come across a lot of this, not just with your mother. She is angry about something and thus defensive. Maybe deep down your interest in being a Priest is awakening something spiritual in her.

Pray, focus on your studies and work gently with your mother. It may be years before you see any change. My paternal grandmother eventually asked to be Baptized just two weeks prior to her death. The only time I had ever seen her go to Church was for a couple of weddings and funerals. So I nearly fell out of my seat when she asked me if Father could come baptize her. Pray and believe.
 
Many of us understand your sadness. We too have parents, siblings, children, who are in rebellion with the Church. Offer your sadness in union with Christ on the cross and ask that He plunge her into his most Sacred Heart everyday.

I prayed for my parents for a long time, decades. At 79 my father got the news that he had terminal cancer. One Saturday he asked if we would pick him up for church Sunday morning. I had tears. The last 2 people to see him conscious before his death was our priest and deacon. I got to hold his hand in his last moments. As much as cancer robs people from us, sometimes it forces us to lift our hearts to God as we go into that decline. What I want to encourage you with is that God knows how many years she will have and it might be that she will need everyone of them to accept God’s kind mercy. Continue to love her and pray for her, and trust God that he wishes her to be with him more that we can comprehend. Remember that God is sad too for those who push him away and you can console him. It’s a great privilege to be able to do that, to share that ache in your heart.
 
It’s too bad that you will not have your mother supporting your decision to become a priest. Be confident though that God can give you good people on your new journey that will become your support and your friend over the years. There are Catholics that are married and living their calling, some having more than the 2 kids that are expected, and they are not getting the support of family. I know you’ll have compassion on them, the hurt that goes with that, and it will help you be a more compassionate pastor. That’s my thoughts today anyway for what they are worth.
 
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