Trouble falling in love

[flick427]

Perhaps this is a really involved issue, but…I have been wondering (as a male) how we “fall in love” with Our Lord.
It is easy when I think of Jesus in the sense of a brother (though I have none) but I always think in that “I’d take a bullet for Him” type perspective. It seems different for women, not that they “desire” Him or anything, but it seems like they would be more graceful in this. It is easy for me to see a beautiful woman and contemplate how pretty she is, but that is what confuses me and I think perhaps causes men problems in Adoration?..God is the only One wo is “adored” and the only One deserving of adoration.
A priest who is celibate, can’t really look at a women in the same way as a married man looks at his wife…is their perhaps a way that a priest turns contemplating a womans beauty into contemplating Our Lord…Does this even make sense?:whacky:
Is there perhaps a good bookwriting on this?

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

“Falling in Love” is wrong concept.

You want to be active and choose to love the Lord in all things.

Love is an exercise of your free will to put the well-being of another above your own well-being. We should actively choose to love the Lord.

Ask Him to unite your spirit with His. Ask Him to let you become One with Him. Think about Him, His love for you, His sufferings for you, All He has done for you, and surrender Yourself to Him mind, body, and soul.

 

[flick427]

Perhaps my terminology is off then .

I think what confuses me is when I read things like St. John of the Cross and it seems like some sort of love poetry…I know it is not “romantic” in any way, but maybe just a bit “over my head”.

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

flick427:

I think what confuses me is when I read things like St. John of the Cross and it seems like some sort of love poetry.

One way we humans use to relate to God is to express it in terms of married love. For instance, the Bible Book, the Song of Songs (AKA the Song of Solomon), is written in terms of the bride (us) and the bridegroom (God). Here we see aspects of God, his might, for instance, expressed in physical terms but in the spiritual sense, we (even as physical males) accept God into us like a woman accepts her husband in her through an act of self-giving love.

Study Pope John Paul II’s theology of the body and you will understand this better.

Toss the entire “Love” concept based on lust that society gives us. It is totally off the mark.

Your key focus needs to be loving God more every day. Choose it. Pray for it. Work on it. Everyday. No exceptions. As you grow closer to God, these romantic-like writing will make more and more sense.

 

[Didi]

I agree that the terminology we use can be confusing, even since the word “love” is overused in our society (example – I love ice cream).

True love is not the initial “crush” or “infatuation” you feel for someone.

True love is knowing someone, faults and all, and loving them anyway. Sometimes making a conscious choice to love them, even when the overwhelming “feeling” isn’t there.

Our Lord has no faults, so loving Him is even easier! Plus we know His love is unconditional – He will never stop loving us, no matter what.

The best way to continue love, and to strengthen love, is to spend time together. Spend time with Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. Devote at least an hour a week to be with Him. Being in His presence, absorbing His love and grace, sometimes sitting silently and trying to listen to Him, will make your love for Him grow. Plus, ask Him for the ability to love Him more!

 

[stellina]

I’m glad you brought this up! Lately I’ve been hearing a lot of people saying that they fell in love with God, and I’ve wondered a little about it myself. As someone else mentioned, if you remove the aspect of lust from it, it’s really an accurate way of stating the relationship. When you’re truly in love, you’re always thinking of your beloved and that’s the one you put first in your life. For example, a friend of mine who’s single & childless said that he fell in love with his new nephew. Since the poor kid doesn’t have a father, my friend was eager to assume the role in any way he could, and I imagine all parents feel the same, even if they don’t describe it the same way.

Our problem in this thoroughly secularized society is that we’ve been conditioned to think that love, or perhaps the highest expression of love, is sexual. Popular culture naturally mocks those who express a love for God as “falling in love” - remember how some critics called “The Passion of the Christ”, which depicted the highest possible expression of love that was ever made, “sadomasochistic pornography”? That’s how sick and distorted our world is. Falling in love with God is the real thing.

 

[tractarian]

I think the whole “i’m IN LOVE with Jesus” thing originates in the more Evangelical/Pentecostal Christians who tend to over-emphasize emotional experiences. The kind of love that the saints write about is more than an emotion, it is a total reorientation of self towards the object of that love. I won’t say any further on that because i can’t improve on those who posted before me.

Bad news: there is still a bit of a gender problem. We are called the “Bride of Christ” in various prayers and Scripture verses. This is easy for women to envision but trickier for men,:ehh: who as a general rule do not look good in white dresses. And for any guys who regularly pray the Angelus: didn’t it take some getting used to, saying “Behold the handmaid of the Lord” in reference to ourselves?! First a wedding dress, then a maid’s outfit…and some women complain about the Church’s male-dominated language.