Trouble understanding venial and mortal sin

[cmac2]

I’ve always had a problem understanding the difference between venial and mortal sin. Usually I end up being over scrupulous and fall into legalism when it comes to my faults and bad habits. If I can get an answer to a couple of hypothetical examples, I think I might understand better.
If someone takes merchandise off the shelf without meaning to pay for it, but before they leave the put it back after changing their mind. Is it still venial sin?
Or, if someone with a bad habits like watching pornography is tempted now and then to fall back into sin. They’ve occasioned those sites out of habit or boredom, but after they glimpse at something they shouldn’t, they click out of the website immediately without watching further. Is that venial or mortal, especially if it happens multiple times without much improvement or getting worse (stopping to watch the explicit material)?
After this, I think I’ll know where I stand and hopefully won’t have anymore questions on venial sin. Thank you for your patience

 

[TheLittleLady]

For those who suffer from scruples, we can only advise to speak to your Confessor.

 

[HopkinsReb]

Usually I end up being over scrupulous and fall into legalism when it comes to my faults and bad habits.

If this is the case, then you’re advised to speak to your priest rather than strangers on a message board, few of whom are actually qualified to answer the questions anyway.

 

[IdaCatholic]

I don’t really know what you are asking. You seem to have a good grasp of your own faults and can define the two types of actual sin. Asking any sort of “is this a sin” question is not benificial to either you or the people that answer. Lets say that someone told you something was or wasn’t sinful, they would be taking that on themselves and could be held accountable for that. So for your own sake and that of the posters on the boards please don’t ask these questions. Find a good spiritual advisor and work through your scruples with logic and knowledge. Form your conscience well and trust it.

 

[cmac2]

I am not asking for help in whether I’ve been too scrupulous. All I need is an answer from the two examples. I don’t have the luxury to find a spiritual director when I’m working less than $9 an hour and I’m starting school in January. I don’t have the time or energy to seek someone out and I can’t afford to go to confession every other week. I’m not here to discuss my scruples. All I needed to know was whether or not someone with a seemingly perpetual habit that pulls away just before actually committing something bad needs to abstain. Is there a way to delete my own posts because these answers aren’t helpful.
I appreciate the effort and thoughts and I’m thankful but they aren’t helping me.

 

[Jerome7]

“All I needed to know was whether or not someone with a seemingly perpetual habit that pulls away just before actually committing something bad needs to abstain.”

I would suppose, from the description, that the act is an actual venial sin, not an actual mortal sin. The latter deprives the soul of the state of grace. It must be done with full knowledge and full deliberation, criteria your description clearly lacks. In cases of scruples, give yourself the benefit of any doubt. Only refrain from Communion if you are relatively certain it was an actual mortal sin. Always make an act of perfect contrition before Mass and at Confession.

The almost stealing example seems venial, unless there were other factors, such as malice in the attempted theft, or that the item is of great value. Even then, putting it back seems to indicate lack of full deliberation. But you would really need to judge these things yourself, based on Church teaching on ethics (which you should be studying in place of asking questions in a forum).

 

[IdaCatholic]

Ask your priest this question. You can do so in person, on the phone, or an email. It costs nothing. We cannot take the place of your conscience. And like I said before, If someone tells you that you dont have mortal sin, or you do have mortal sin, they are taking that on themselves before God. If someone tells you that stealing or lusting isn’t a mortal sin in your case, and it happened to be, they then take responsibility for it. People who suffer from scrupulocity cannot and will not be satisfied on these threads. What if 90 posters said it was mortal and 10 said it wasn’t? How would you know what to believe!?
The best anyone can do is to point you to the three conditions of mortal sin. (Grave matter, full consent, full knowledge) and we can point you to the CCC and we can suggest you speak to people the Church has deemed experts in this, priests.
Other than that, it really has to be something you work out in your own mind and conscience.

 

[IdaCatholic]

How do you make an act of perfect contrition? What is it? How does one attain it and when should it be done? Is there teaching on this?

 

[Zach]

Perfect contrition is sorrow for having offended God. It is motivated by our love of God and not because of fear of punishment, which would be imperfect contrition. Perfect contrition can be attained outside of confession by repentance and sorrow for sins out of love of God, desire and resolve to go to Confession as soon as possible, and perhaps saying an act of contrition. If under grave sin perfect contrition outside of Confession does not allow one to receive Communion. Confession is still needed for that. I’m not sure if the teaching of the Church is that perfect contrition outside of Confession automatically absolves sin every time as is the case with Confession, where sin is automatically absolved even with imperfect contrition.

 

[IdaCatholic]

THat was a pretty good explanation. The CCC says this.

[1452](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/1452.htm’) When it arises from a love by which God is loved above all else, contrition is called “perfect” (contrition of charity). Such contrition remits venial sins; it also obtains forgiveness of mortal sins if it includes the firm resolution to have recourse to sacramental confession as soon as possible.51

1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.52

I think though that when a poster has trouble with scruples and deciphering mortal sin in thier own lives that the idea of perfect contrition is incredibly confusing. One would also need to go to confession as soon as possible, It does not say as soon as convienient.So in the modern world there is really no reason outside of the threat of immediate death that perfect contrition should be leaned upon for the forgiveness of mortal sins. Not to say that one should not HAVE perfect contrition, one should.

I think this idea is detremental to someone who struggles with the concpet of mortal sin as it is in the OP. I also think this common term is misunderstood by a great many on these boards.