Trouble with procrastination towards studies

[crenfro]

Hello.

It’s really hard for me to settle down and study. Once, many years ago, this nun opened up my desk and yelled at me for being the messiest person in the class, said I should be ashamed of myself. I cried there in class. I have since graduated from college with honors many years ago and have a GPA of > 3.5. But ever since that nun did that, I’ve had more and more trouble settling in to do my work, and can only remember situations like these – there were others, and it gets me down. To her credit, after I graduated, she came up to my mom and I and tried to make some very pleasant conversation and acted like she was interested in me, but it seems like a lot of damage had been done. And like I’ve said, I’ve had plenty of other things like this happen.

I think I need to work on unforgiveness. And I hope that anyone thinking of a religious vocation is full of love and kindness, not only to those who are already attractive and easily loveable, but to those who really need love, kindness and unconditional acceptance.

I used to really like to study, but I think of things like this and it gets me down.

My therapist would tell me it’s been so long in the past & to just let these things go, which I guess is a good idea. I just wonder why it’s okay for those in religious life to treat children badly.

Anyway, have things changed since the 1970’s and 1980’s? I hope they have.

So, please pray for me that I can study better with a minimum of procrastination so I can ultimately do better in my career.

And please pray for more good and holy religious and priests. We sure need them. And pray for those religious and priests who have lost their way, that they can be brought back.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

When the Lord puts a difficult person like that nun in your path, it’s because they need your prayers. When you think of that sister, just pray for her and forget it.

I had some absolutely wonderful Sisters as teachers and friends who I still think of fondly. I also had several who were insensitive, mocking, or unjust. I had a music teacher for about 10 years who was like a crazy nun version of Madame Souszatska and created emotional issues in me with respect to music…oddly I became attached to her despite that, and in a coincidence, my confirmation saint’s name is also her religious name. I didn’t plan it that way and picked the name for another (dumb) reason but sometimes I think about that and wonder if it was more than a coincidence.

I tend to think a lot of the sisters who taught back in the previous decades maybe didn’t like teaching so much, but it was the only option open to them or they were forced into it somehow. I also don’t think they were very well trained to do their jobs, so some of them were naturally talented and others did not have good coping skills or in some cases, may have been treating the students the bad way they themselves had been treated, either as children or maybe even upon entering the convent.

Anyway, I hope you find some peace…you are not alone in your experiences, but we have to let it go, as the song says. God bless.