Troubled marriage

[C.T]

I’m not prepared to discuss it all publicly, but things in my marriage have come to a critical point. I can’t even stand to be around other Catholic couples or women talking about sharing faith with their husbands, because I get so jealous. I thought my husband was Catholic at the time we married. He was a “cradle Catholic” with very little lived faith in his family. But during our courtship he voluntarily entered the RCIA and was confirmed. When he recently revealed that he did not consider himself bound by Church teaching–or even obligated to pray on what he didn’t understand in the hopes of growing to believe–he said that he never really was as Catholic as I supposed when we married and was sorry if I “was misled” by the way he pursued the sacraments at that time.

We have a 2 year old child. He doesn’t want any more. This too, is not what we talked about when engaged. It breaks my heart. I don’t know if this creates a situation where I would be able to pursue an annulment, but I don’t really want one. I want to be able to stay married to my husband. I just want him to love me and my daughter and to show that to us.

Please pray for us. I don’t know what else can do any good. Pray, at least, that God give me a charitable heart so that I am not jealous of the women who are blessed with devout husbands.

Thank you.

 

[jrabs]

It does sound like grounds for an annulment - but your Tribunal/parish priest could provide better guidance… This is a sad situation and I am sorry for your pain.

I will pray for you.

 

[1ke]

C.T.:

I’m not prepared to discuss it all publicly, but things in my marriage have come to a critical point. I can’t even stand to be around other Catholic couples or women talking about sharing faith with their husbands, because I get so jealous. I thought my husband was Catholic at the time we married. He was a “cradle Catholic” with very little lived faith in his family. But during our courtship he voluntarily entered the RCIA and was confirmed. When he recently revealed that he did not consider himself bound by Church teaching–or even obligated to pray on what he didn’t understand in the hopes of growing to believe–he said that he never really was as Catholic as I supposed when we married and was sorry if I “was misled” by the way he pursued the sacraments at that time.

We have a 2 year old child. He doesn’t want any more. This too, is not what we talked about when engaged. It breaks my heart. I don’t know if this creates a situation where I would be able to pursue an annulment, but I don’t really want one. I want to be able to stay married to my husband. I just want him to love me and my daughter and to show that to us.

Please pray for us. I don’t know what else can do any good. Pray, at least, that God give me a charitable heart so that I am not jealous of the women who are blessed with devout husbands.

Thank you.

Talk to a priest. Pursue Marriage Encounter and/or therapy with a Catholic counselor. If he won’t go to counseling, go alone. You need someone you can talk with who will understand and give you guidance that is in accordance with Church teaching.

Divorce is not something to be considered lightly, whether or not you have grounds for annulment.

And, of course, continue to pray and receive the Sacraments frequently (even when you don’t feel like it), this will give you strength.

 

[dhgray]

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