Troubles at work

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Obsidion

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So I just started a new job about a month ago, and yesterday I got into a debate with one of my coworkers about alcohol and marijuana. He was arguing with me that marijuana is OK since, according to him, it doesn’t affect the way you think and is just another way to “relax.” I responded to him saying that I disagreed, as there’s plenty of evidence to prove that marijuana *does *affect the way people think, and it’s not for the better. He insisted that I was wrong, and started showing me all these stats on his phone supposedly proving his point. Even after that, I still held my position that I thought it was still wrong because using drugs like marijuana go against what I believe in as a Christian. I tried to explain to him that in the bible, we’re told that the body’s a temple of God, and putting drugs like marijuana in our body go against this teaching.
Before we got on the topic of weed, earlier we had been discussing alcohol, and I told him that I wasn’t against drinking- just no getting drunk or drinking underage obviously. So after I tried explaining the biblical reference, he then argued back saying that since I believed weed was wrong, drinking must be wrong too by my logic. I then told him that alcohol, according to Scripture, is not wrong in of itself- drunkenness is. I brought up how Jesus drank wine in the Bible, so if Jesus did it, it obviously can’t be bad. He then made a joke about how Jesus sure knew how to party, which all of my other coworkers laughed at (they had gathered around us at this point to listen to our little debate). I was so caught off guard by his disrespect, and said that I didn’t think what he said was funny. He then told me that he didn’t look down on my beliefs; he just disagreed with them. My other coworkers then asked me about me being a Christian, and one of them asked if I was Catholic. I told him yes. He then started in with the whole “Catholics aren’t Christians” argument, to which I responded that all Catholics are Christians; not all Christians are Catholics. Another coworker decided to gang up on me and said that he was raised Catholic but doesn’t believe anymore. And then another coworker said that we Catholics are “too hardcore” for him. At this point, I was so fed up with everyone attacking my beliefs, and tried to lighten up the mood by asking him not to make fun of “my people” in a joking tone. But it all seriously upset me how disrespectful they all were, and made me feel really uncomfortable. My original coworker who had started this debate with me asked later that night if I was mad at him, to which I jokingly responded that as Christians we’re called to “love our neighbor” including him. He then told me that he had no idea that I was “so religious” but insisted that he didn’t hold my faith against me. I don’t know if that helped at all, but we tried to steer clear of religious talk for the remainder of the half-hour we were at work together.
What do you all think? How should I respond next time I’m questioned like that? Should I have even brought up my beliefs, or should I have just tried to keep religion out of it?
 
Work is not the place for these discussions.
If you started it, don’t do it again.
Focus on what you were hired to do. If people persist in asking you, you simply say “I don’t think this is the time or place to discuss something so personal”.
Best wishes.
 
If I were your employer, I’d wonder what I was paying you (plural) for.

How should you respond, you ask? By saying that you have work to do, sorry.
 
Best not to discuss religion or politics at work, there are enough of both of those there without talking about it. 👍
 
Obsidion said:
So I just started a new job about a month ago, and yesterday I got into a debate with one of my coworkers about alcohol and marijuana. He was arguing with me that marijuana is OK since, according to him, it doesn’t affect the way you think and is just another way to “relax.” I responded to him saying that I disagreed, as there’s plenty of evidence to prove that marijuana *does *affect the way people think, and it’s not for the better. He insisted that I was wrong, and started showing me all these stats on his phone supposedly proving his point. Even after that, I still held my position that I thought it was still wrong because using drugs like marijuana go against what I believe in as a Christian. I tried to explain to him that in the bible, we’re told that the body’s a temple of God, and putting drugs like marijuana in our body go against this teaching.
Before we got on the topic of weed, earlier we had been discussing alcohol, and I told him that I wasn’t against drinking- just no getting drunk or drinking underage obviously. So after I tried explaining the biblical reference, he then argued back saying that since I believed weed was wrong, drinking must be wrong too by my logic. I then told him that alcohol, according to Scripture, is not wrong in of itself- drunkenness is. I brought up how Jesus drank wine in the Bible, so if Jesus did it, it obviously can’t be bad. He then made a joke about how Jesus sure knew how to party, which all of my other coworkers laughed at (they had gathered around us at this point to listen to our little debate). I was so caught off guard by his disrespect, and said that I didn’t think what he said was funny. He then told me that he didn’t look down on my beliefs; he just disagreed with them. My other coworkers then asked me about me being a Christian, and one of them asked if I was Catholic. I told him yes. He then started in with the whole “Catholics aren’t Christians” argument, to which I responded that all Catholics are Christians; not all Christians are Catholics. Another coworker decided to gang up on me and said that he was raised Catholic but doesn’t believe anymore. And then another coworker said that we Catholics are “too hardcore” for him. At this point, I was so fed up with everyone attacking my beliefs, and tried to lighten up the mood by asking him not to make fun of “my people” in a joking tone. But it all seriously upset me how disrespectful they all were, and made me feel really uncomfortable. My original coworker who had started this debate with me asked later that night if I was mad at him, to which I jokingly responded that as Christians we’re called to “love our neighbor” including him. He then told me that he had no idea that I was “so religious” but insisted that he didn’t hold my faith against me. I don’t know if that helped at all, but we tried to steer clear of religious talk for the remainder of the half-hour we were at work together.
What do you all think? How should I respond next time I’m questioned like that? Should I have even brought up my beliefs, or should I have just tried to keep religion out of it?
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My friend, hang in there, you are doing better than the silent ones, from what you have said, I have to say, I have respect for you for standing where others might cave and turn silent, and you seem to be earning the respect of your co-workers, though they might not be so willing to show that to you.
 
pianistclare said:
Work is not the place for these discussions.
If you started it, don’t do it again.
Focus on what you were hired to do. If people persist in asking you, you simply say “I don’t think this is the time or place to discuss something so personal”.
Best wishes.
Click to expand...
No.
 
When you work 5 days a week 8 hours a day 40 hours total, then the people you work with become your second family, if you cannot take moments to learn who each other are, if we cannot take the time to care for each other, understand who each other is, feel compassion for the heartache each other experiences, then we are nothing more than robots.
 
Darryl_B said:
When you work 5 days a week 8 hours a day 40 hours total, then the people you work with become your second family, if you cannot take moments to learn who each other are, if we cannot take the time to care for each other, understand who each other is, feel compassion for the heartache each other experiences, then we are nothing more than robots.
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As you so famously say , “no”.
Work is where you go to do a job for a person or company. You are not there to sway people to your point of view. You are not there to be uncharitable, as those people have been to the OP. You are not there to hold a theology class. You are there to type, build cars, sell insurance, or make copies. Whatever the task, and to do it thoroughly and well.
You are also not there to be unkind because someone thinks differently than you do. You
can see how the OP is scandalized and put in an awkward position by those who are unbelievers or misinformed. As Catholics, we can’t do the very thing that draws people away from the faith. The best way to instruct those in the faith is to LIVE the faith, through charity, hard, work, and true friendship. People who learn to respect Catholics stop saying untruths about them. The people that the OP describes are awkward, intolerant, and judgmental. Nothing about his post suggests that they seek truth or want to be educated in truth.
Christ Himself cautions us to do the best we can, but at the end of the day dust off our sandals and walk away. As in “back to your desk” in humility and silence.
People who are preachy do just as much harm as those who promote falsehoods, and while the OP is certainly not preachy if they PERCIEVE that he is, he is just setting himself up for misery on the behalf of people who do not possess the “ears to hear”.
And, holding impromptu religion discussions could very well get him fired.
Noble maybe, smart, no.
 
pianistclare said:
As you so famously say , “no”.
Work is where you go to do a job for a person or company. You are not there to sway people to your point of view. You are not there to be uncharitable, as those people have been to the OP. You are not there to hold a theology class. You are there to type, build cars, sell insurance, or make copies. Whatever the task, and to do it thoroughly and well.
You are also not there to be unkind because someone thinks differently than you do. You
can see how the OP is scandalized and put in an awkward position by those who are unbelievers or misinformed. As Catholics, we can’t do the very thing that draws people away from the faith. The best way to instruct those in the faith is to LIVE the faith, through charity, hard, work, and true friendship. People who learn to respect Catholics stop saying untruths about them. The people that the OP describes are awkward, intolerant, and judgmental. Nothing about his post suggests that they seek truth or want to be educated in truth.
Christ Himself cautions us to do the best we can, but at the end of the day dust off our sandals and walk away. As in “back to your desk” in humility and silence.
People who are preachy do just as much harm as those who promote falsehoods, and while the OP is certainly not preachy if they PERCIEVE that he is, he is just setting himself up for misery on the behalf of people who do not possess the “ears to hear”.
And, holding impromptu religion discussions could very well get him fired.
Noble maybe, smart, no.
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I before E except after C especially true when capitalized.

It is sad when I read this mentality. It is fearful, and it is defeatist. The “intolerant” people you describe, are often more than prepared to eventually respect and understand you, if and only if you can make a valid defense of your faith, no preachy required, this is the way they see it, this is the way you see it, it is called dialogue, (something promoted by the Church) and most people are more than happy to engage in it if we listen more than we speak.
 
Darryl_B said:
I before E except after C especially true when capitalized.

It is sad when I read this mentality. It is fearful, and it is defeatist. The “intolerant” people you describe, are often more than prepared to eventually respect and understand you, if and only if you can make a valid defense of your faith, no preachy required, this is the way they see it, this is the way you see it, it is called dialogue, (something promoted by the Church) and most people are more than happy to engage in it if we listen more than we speak.
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Thanks for your unkind post!
It is not defeatist. I wouldn’t want to see this guy fired for something that is not going to make any impact. But, dialog is fine at lunch, after work, and only if someone asks.
Again,…Again…the OP does not indicate that these are people who desire dialog. They are attacking him for his faith.
 
Darryl B, I appreciate your trying to encourage me. 🙂 That means a lot to me, and it’s nice to know that I have a brother in Christ in you who wants to defend the faith as well.
However, I do get where the rest of you all are coming from, and I’ll try to steer clear of these sorts of discussions again at work. I definitely don’t want to get fired, and I see where you all are coming from in a practical sense. Please just pray that I can have peace with these people. They’ve actually been a little nicer to me these past couple of days, so maybe God’s taking my social faux pas and using it for the better haha. But thank you all for your honest advice.
P.S. Just so you all know I’m a girl. 😉
 
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