Troubles with religion and husband

[sarcophagus]

Not necessarily troubles but apprehensions. I know the Lord is calling me to become more devout. In little ways, i know that is what he wants, for example, the cable network just added EWTN for a limited time, even though I was thinking of ordering it anyway. I keep coming across books on devout life and saints when i’m not even looking etc.

My problem is, my husband is pentacostal, but of the mind that one does not have to go to church to celebrate God, he doesn’t talk about religion, and I never see him pray. I’m apprehensive about becoming a devout catholic (though I would have to go to RCIA first) because I feel like I may be alienating his beliefs. He doesn’t understand my fascination with catholicism but is happy I’m at least a christian (met him when I was an atheist/wannabe wiccan).

Has anyone gone through this? It’s not that I’m ashamed of wanting to go to mass or to pray in front of him, it’s just that I don’t want him to feel like I’m forcing my beliefs on him…

Any advice on this?

thanks

 

[ncjohn]

Yes, I’ve been there from your husband’s end.

In the early 90’s my wife was getting very involved in reading a lot of Marian stuff and following saints, especially Padre Pio. I was going to church, but merely so I wouldn’t have to explain to the kids why daddy didn’t go. I watched her with some interest and apprehension, but she didn’t talk about it much unless I asked her something.

Aside from being somewhat lazy, I also recognized at the time that if I started to “get involved” that God would be more demanding and that it wouldn’t get any easier, so I intentionally stayed off to the side rather than risk the commitment.

Over time though, as I watched her joy grow and came into contact with people from our parish who were living a gospel life with true joy, I became “hooked” myself–very gradually–and now have the most wonderful of relationships with a wife with whom I share the most wonderful of journeys.

The advice I would recommend is that you proceed quietly (NOT secretly) without putting any pressure on him at all or making him feel uncomfortable. Answer his questions if he asks, but don’t “preach” or give unrequested information. Most of all, be patient! It took me nearly 10 years to get to anything meaningful, but since I “bought in” it has been the ride of my life.

In my experience, it takes at least three things to bring someone to readiness for the journey: the grace from God; a willing cooperation with that grace; and a credible witness to imitate. You can provide the third, which can help to influence the second. Your actions will be the witness though–for good or bad–and the faithfulness (or hypocracy) of the match between your actions and professed beliefs. As St Francis said: “Preach the gospel always; use words if necessary.” Unless you’re living something that is beautiful and desirable, there is little chance of someone else wanting to “buy it” from you.

I pray for peace on your journey and a willingness to let God use you to do His work.

 

[Alison]

Yes, I’ve been there from your husband’s end…

NCJohn, really?? It took about 10 years? Wow. That’s really encouraging given what I have to deal with nowadays at home. Thank you for your post. God bless.

-Alison

 

[kayla]

Sacrophagus,

I know how you feel…it’s pretty much that way for me and my husband (he is presbyterian) but does not practice his faith, however when I decided to come back to the Chruch 2 years ago, I sat him down and asked how he felt about taking our vows over “in the Catholic Church”?.. explaining how very important it was to me.
I knew I was walking on egg shells, but much to my surprise he agreed and my annulment from my first marraige is in the works. I’m praying a decision will come soon.
I don’t push the Catholic faith on him…but I know he sees every day how very important it is to me. Be patient and keep praying…
Someday he will see how the Catholic faith has inspiried you and may just want what you have.

 

[BlestOne]

Sarc,
Be patient and pray! Maybe all he needs is a good example to go by. My prayers are with you! I know my husband was Lutheran and once he saw how involved I was with my church he became interested and finally converted. It isn’t simple or easy but the rewards are great!!!

 

[desertdreamer81]

I am there with you as well. I have been drawn to the Catholic Church and am in RCIA. Even more spooky to me (still a bit) is that I feel God calling me to be even more involved in serving Him in His Church. My husband is a member of the traditional Churches of Christ, though he has not gone in a while, and he is a rather vocal anti-Catholic. I am at the moment confined to keeping my prayer books, rosary, etc. out of sight for the most part in my home, though my car (we have two) is full of faith building things. My only advice to you would be to be quiet and gentle, yeilding as much as you can without compromising your faith, but once you find that you believe as the Catholic Church teaches, be persistent in going forward. The Catechism says that once you become convinced that the Catholic Church is The Church, you are obligated to join or risk turning your back on God. (Not to spook you but just so you know. I don’t remember the paragraph number, though.)

 

[LeahInancsi]

I’m having a bit of the same trouble with my mother. I’ve moved back in with her because of her failing health. At the same time, I’m converting to Catholicism (religion of her ancestors), but she is Presbyterian. I think she’s waffling about Catholicism in her own life, so I don’t want to litter her house with my Catholic stuff and would prefer to keep my religion more private at this time. I don’t want to offend her if she is not in agreement with my lifestyle since I’m living in her house.

 

[Al_Masetti]

Don’t say anything to him or anybody else. Just quietly go to Daily Mass and say a rosary daily.

Pray to Saint Monica.