True repentance

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Eruvande

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How does one know if one has truly repented? I’ve done some things I’m not only not proud of, but thoroughly ashamed of, and have repented in many tears and heartaches. But as I’m getting to know Catholic doctrine, I’m discovering many things I didn’t even know were sins, like contracepting, even though I had a good reason. I’m slowly beginning to see that it wasn’t such a good reason at all, but I don’t feel heart-sick about as yet, not the way I felt about those other sins. But I want to be sorry for it, and I am sorry, I just don’t feel sorry yet. Is my repentance real?
 
What you did happened in the past and you are just now realizing how bad it was. I think its safe to say that it’s normal not to feel guilty about something unless you realize its wrong before you do it. Like if you did it again, I’m sure you would feel it more. Not only that, you may not understand the gravity of it all. When I read the stories of saints and began to love Jesus more, I felt a lot more convicted by my own sins. The closer you are to God, the guiltier tiny sins will make you feel because you’ve betrayed his love.
 
Dear Eruvande,
I would suggest that you ask your priest if you can have some spiritual guidance. We are all on a journey of faith and we move forward step by step but in God’s way, in His time. In a face to face discussion, you will be able to explore more fully where you are on the journey of faith and receive guidance on possible next steps.

It is not for us to judge if anyone is truly repentant and we shouldn’t. From your post, I would suggest that you have doubts and that is something that does need to be tackled by a qualified person such as a priest and yourself.

I pray that you receive the guidance needed and are able to grow further in faith.

May God bless you.
 
Eruvande said:
How does one know if one has truly repented? I’ve done some things I’m not only not proud of, but thoroughly ashamed of, and have repented in many tears and heartaches. But as I’m getting to know Catholic doctrine, I’m discovering many things I didn’t even know were sins, like contracepting, even though I had a good reason. I’m slowly beginning to see that it wasn’t such a good reason at all, but I don’t feel heart-sick about as yet, not the way I felt about those other sins. But I want to be sorry for it, and I am sorry, I just don’t feel sorry yet. Is my repentance real?
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Good question. Hopefully others will give a better answer, but I think this would be part of it.
  1. A good Confession. See John 20: 22-23. Certain knowledge that God has forgiven your sin goes a long way to feeling honest remorse for the sin.
2.Repentance is feeling sorry enough that you change your way of doing things. We cannot unring a bell, but we can stop ringing it. Some things we struggle with for years, falling back in to same sin again and again. Our will to stop is weak. Especially if we are not seeking God’s forgiveness and His Good Grace to assist us. No matter. We continue to fight the good fight and confess as often as we need. God knows our heart. He knows if we are trying or just going through the motions.
  1. IMO, the fact that you don’t yet feel sorry enough suggests you do have a good conscience. Perhaps we can never feel sorry enough. What we can do is do better. We can also do extra love in other areas to make amends for our sin.
  2. Best efforts. God knows we are imperfect, but it is our best efforts He seeks. “I’m sorry. Forgive me. I am trying to do better. I need your help, God.” It starts with a good Confession.
 
I think that God understands when you didn’t know something was wrong.
 
Thank you all - I had kind of guessed this was something a priest would be able to help me with. Now I just need to pluck up the courage to speak to one!
 
Eruvande said:
How does one know if one has truly repented? I’ve done some things I’m not only not proud of, but thoroughly ashamed of, and have repented in many tears and heartaches. But as I’m getting to know Catholic doctrine, I’m discovering many things I didn’t even know were sins, like contracepting, even though I had a good reason. I’m slowly beginning to see that it wasn’t such a good reason at all, but I don’t feel heart-sick about as yet, not the way I felt about those other sins. But I want to be sorry for it, and I am sorry, I just don’t feel sorry yet. Is my repentance real?
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If you would rather die than commit the same sins again, then I’d say that you have repented of the sins, despite your feelings. God bless you.
 
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