Trust in Deacon to keep personal discussions private from his Spouse

[bilmar]

Recently, I spoke to our Deacon about his obvious behavior and comments to members of our Parish, that he did not support and had not agreed to work with our new Pastor for reasons unknown to me, but gossiped about in the Church community.

I asked to speak with Deacon and did, being sincere, direct and honest based on a long life in Catholic Parish life as well as many years working in the public world of banking and people in financial trouble.

I learned a short time later from the Deacon’s wife she was angry with me for sharing my professional thoughts and heartfelt advice with the Deacon regarding his obviously unprofessional choices related to supporting the Pastor and his willingness to speak to Parish members about his choices.

What is the Deacon’s responsibility to not talk to his wife about private conversations a Parishioner trust will remain private?

 

[Mary_Ellen]

Canonically I don’t believe there are any sanctions against what he did. Professionally what was done should not have been done but I cannot think of any corrective actions though you may want to write, not speak, to your pastor and to your bishop about what happened.

As you cited your deacon for gossip and detraction, basically being unprofessional, my question for you is is are you surprised that he spoke to his wife in such an unprofessional manner? I’d stay away and pray like crazy for this untenable situation in your parish.

You will be in my prayers!

 

[joeybaggz]

As an aside, I would think that a permanent deacon that has a reputation for an inability to keep confidences would eventually lose the support of a parish and be relegated to a functionary that could accomplish little more than perform certain rites. For instance, a permanent deacon in the Church can preach a sermon. However with a reputation such as I have alluded to, I doubt many would find him either credible or worthy of attention. A deacon who can’t keep confidences (including keeping them from his wife) would be sabotaging his own ministry.
(and I assume you are speaking of a permanent lay deacon in the RCC??)