T
traysclay
Guest
Hi everyone, I am a 37 year old married female. I am born and raised Catholic, have always had a very strong faith stirring inside of me. Sadly, I have been having many issues over the past decade and a half.
Starts out I was in a relationship with a man for 10 years (started when I was around 14) he in turn broke my heart. I moved away, met another man and married him 6 months later :/. He converted to Catholicism when I was pregnant with my first child because I made it known I was raising my children Catholic. I lost that first baby to pre-term labor. I became pregnant again to have a healthy boy. My marriage was so/so ( he converted but never “understood” why we pray to Mary and didnt believe it and wasnt going to do it). I do not think I was ever in Love with this man, but I was married to him in the Catholic church under Gods eyes. It was my duty to stay. I began playing a game online with my husband. Where I met someone else. I sinned, yes. and it tears me to think how God must feel about it. I have asked for forgiveness time and time again, and was always embarassed to go to confession. We ended up divorced, and I married this other man a few years later. I am deepy in Love with my current husband. He is my rock. I could not have asked for anything better. We have a 3 year old child together, whom has Autism. And we have my 10 year old from my first marriage. My ex husband does not stay involved much, he is in the air force and rarely calls or writes.
I have raised my 10 year old (with the help of my father) to have a very strong foundation in the Catholic faith. I send him to Catholic school, he is in the choir, and his reverence is applauded by all of his teachers. I am very proud of him.
Inside I am very unhappy with myself. I have not attended mass on a regular basis. It is like I am afraid. From what I have read I am not married in Gods eyes. I am sinning every day in my marriage. I am scared to approach my priest about this, and I feel I am not welcome in the church anymore. I have been trying so hard to get it together and speak with our priest but I always seem to chicken out. I do not know where this feeling stems from, but it is there. I feel like I am not worthy to be in church. When I do go I do not recieve. I am so embaraased to watch my son walk up to recieve alone.
I guess I am asking for help. What do I need to do, am I really this black sheep in Gods eyes now? Will I be looked down upon by my priest and my church? I need to get this all figured out. For myself, and most important, for my children. I need to be a role model. Myself sitting home on Sunday is not my idea of a role model.
Any help is greatly appreciated.
Starts out I was in a relationship with a man for 10 years (started when I was around 14) he in turn broke my heart. I moved away, met another man and married him 6 months later :/. He converted to Catholicism when I was pregnant with my first child because I made it known I was raising my children Catholic. I lost that first baby to pre-term labor. I became pregnant again to have a healthy boy. My marriage was so/so ( he converted but never “understood” why we pray to Mary and didnt believe it and wasnt going to do it). I do not think I was ever in Love with this man, but I was married to him in the Catholic church under Gods eyes. It was my duty to stay. I began playing a game online with my husband. Where I met someone else. I sinned, yes. and it tears me to think how God must feel about it. I have asked for forgiveness time and time again, and was always embarassed to go to confession. We ended up divorced, and I married this other man a few years later. I am deepy in Love with my current husband. He is my rock. I could not have asked for anything better. We have a 3 year old child together, whom has Autism. And we have my 10 year old from my first marriage. My ex husband does not stay involved much, he is in the air force and rarely calls or writes.
I have raised my 10 year old (with the help of my father) to have a very strong foundation in the Catholic faith. I send him to Catholic school, he is in the choir, and his reverence is applauded by all of his teachers. I am very proud of him.
Inside I am very unhappy with myself. I have not attended mass on a regular basis. It is like I am afraid. From what I have read I am not married in Gods eyes. I am sinning every day in my marriage. I am scared to approach my priest about this, and I feel I am not welcome in the church anymore. I have been trying so hard to get it together and speak with our priest but I always seem to chicken out. I do not know where this feeling stems from, but it is there. I feel like I am not worthy to be in church. When I do go I do not recieve. I am so embaraased to watch my son walk up to recieve alone.
I guess I am asking for help. What do I need to do, am I really this black sheep in Gods eyes now? Will I be looked down upon by my priest and my church? I need to get this all figured out. For myself, and most important, for my children. I need to be a role model. Myself sitting home on Sunday is not my idea of a role model.
Any help is greatly appreciated.