Trying to balance being a wife/mother

[MorningGlory]

With our first baby in the picture (she’s 6.5 months old), I find it a bit difficult ‘balancing’ my role as a wife and now a mother. I’m a stay-at-home mom, so I’m with my daughter a lot - and by the end of the day, it seems there’s just enough time for a little wind-down, then it’s time for bed to start all over again the next day.

So – what was it like for you when you had kids? How do you balance the different “roles” in your life (to spouse vs. child(ren)), etc? Any experiences and/or advice??

 

[darcee]

It gets easier. Babyhood is the most demanding age time wise.

Try to set time aside for the two of you to relax. If you can do little things during the day so your DH will know that you are thinking about him, we send emails back and forth. Little notes in pockets or bags.

We like to play games together after the kiddos are sleeping.

Try NOT to be working around the house when he is home in the evening. One of the nice things about being a SAHM is having MORE time in the evening because you can tend to the house durring the day. It might be tempting to hand the kiddos off to him and start cleaning but try not to.

Avoid arguments. If something is more important then your time together go for it, but avoid diggin your heals in over things that don’t mean much in the long run.

Anyhow… that is my advice. :twocents:

 

[kristacecilia]

MorningGlory,

I completely understand. Our son is four and a half months and there are days I can’t even figure out how to manage to get dressed. It took me three months to be able to cook dinner on a regular basis after he was born. Really the only thing I don’t have trouble handling (for the most part) is laundry- good thing, too, since I am cloth diapering!

My husband and I don’t get much time alone together because the baby is usually up and I generally have a lot of housework to do. I start the laundry at 7 or 8 in the morning and am still folding before bed at 10. I agree with what Darcee said, though, about trying to get the housework done before DH comes home- that way he comes home to a nice, peaceful looking house (which will probably put him in a more relaxed mood) and you can make the most of the time you do get together. Easier said, than done, I know!

If you need someone to comiserate with, feel free to PM me!

God bless you and your family,
Krista

 

[Ana]

Ahhhh … I remember those days. I have three little lovelies 6,4,and 2. It is easier with all three than when I had my first! Please remember this. It DOES get easier.:yup:

These are things, that if I could do it over again, I would do differently.

I used to try to catch up on cleaning when the baby slept. I would grab the sleep instead.

I would get dressed before doing ANYTHING! Straight from the bed to the closet, then straight to brush teeth and hair. Seven minutes total.

Pick two times in the day to do a QUICK tidy, not more than fifteen minutes. One right before hubby gets home. Pick ONE chore to do a day such as clean a bathroom, vacuum, the kitchen floor. And don’t worry about the rest. Those baseboards will still need to be dusted a year from now anyway.

I would get my prayer time in while I was feeding the baby.

I would have worried less about what I wasn’t getting done.

I would have just made simpler meals, and not worried so much about it. I would have planned my simple meals by the week, so I didn’t have to worry daily about what was for dinner. This was something I could have done sitting next to hubby one evening while watching a show with him, getting some (name removed by moderator)ut as well.

Don’t worry, it will all fall into place. You’ll be an old pro before you know it!! God bless you and all new mothers!!

 

[kristacecilia]

Ana,

Great advice! I am a big fan of the “do ONE chore a day” thing. That seems to work best for me. We don’t have a large living space, so if I clean the bathroom one day, vaccuum one day, dust one day, do all the laundry one day, and just try to keep the house picked up and stay on top of the laundry for the rest of the week- the house is clean.

I also found the best time of the day to get my chores done- first thing in the morning. My ds is in a better mood and I have more energy. So I strive to get my one chore done first thing in the morning and get showered and dressed- then I have the rest of the day to be with my son, do smaller chores, be online, rest, whatever.

I make a list of meals for a week before we go shopping- saves time at the store, money, and makes cooking easy. All I have to do is look at the list in the morning and I know exactly what I have to do to prepare for dinner that day. I always make it a point to have dinner started or at least know exactly what I am doing for dinner before lunch. Usually I HAVE to do it this way to get the meat thawed, but it makes it easier come 4 o’clock, too.

I have found that if I don’t do something this way, my life basically starts to fall apart. My ds gets more whiney because I am not spending enough time with him, the chores aren’t done, the house is a wreck, I am in a worse mood… the list goes on. The hardest part about all of it is making sure that I stick to my plan as much as possible.

Oh, and my mantra these days is, “This, too, shall pass.”

Prayers for all the mothers out there!

God bless,
Krista

 

[darcee]

Oh one more thing. If you are making something that freezes well make up two or three times what you need so you have a quick meal in the freezer. Stews, sauces, casseroles all work wonderfully reheated. It takes much less work to make one batch of 4 quarts of chilli then it does to make up two batches of 2 quarts each. It will save you money as well.

-D

 

[The_Rigbys]

You might try reading the book “A Mother’s Rule of Life,” which has been discussed in a few threads on this forum. It takes you through the process of figuring out all the duties associated with your various roles (child of God, human being, wife, mother, housekeeper)…then helps you plan your daily routine, so you can do them all well.

Prayer is the underpinning of this system. It can have miraculous effects, when it comes to helping you get things done. If you (like me) tend to forget this, try taking short breaks throughout the day, to turn your mind and heart to God. For instance, you could plan to say the Angelus at noon, and the Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3:00 pm… or sing hymns to the baby at her naptimes… or whatever works well for you.